The Next Step
by brandstifterin
Summary: Sahira Shah and Henrik Hanssen continue their relationship. Sequel to 'Beyond Reasonable Doubt'. Chapter 16 - Moving House
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Welcome back everyone! I imagine this story will be longer than 'Beyond Reasonable Doubt' but hopefully with a little more structure (famous last words!). There are going to be a few issues for our favourite couple in this one and we should see the resolution of some previous issues like Rafi in addition to the introduction of new problems (life wouldn't be fun if it was easy).**

**With regards to the final chapter of BRD, it may not have been the ending you were anticipating (I certainly wasn't) but that's how it turned out. This story starts off near-enough where that one finishes, it would be helpful but not essential if you read that before reading this one.**

**As always feedback is more than welcome.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything to do with Holby City; I'm only playing with the characters and promise to put them back where I found them once I'm done.**

Chapter 1

The tall Swede makes his way over to Mr. Hope at the other end of the the ward corridor and the shorter man can clearly see the displeasure at being dragged out of bed early on Boxing Day morning on the Director of Surgery. He contemplates apologising to his boss as he looks down at his notes one final time before falling into step with his boss as they make their way to Theatre 2 but figures that he won't want to hear it.

As Elliot relays the information he's been given about the incoming patient, he sees the scowl disappear off the other man's face and a look of calculated focus replaces it. Elliot inwardly sighs with relief, as annoyed as Hanssen might be, Elliot knows he'll put his patients first – he has no problem admitting that the Swede is the best man for the job.

As they separate to get changed and scrub in, Elliot ponders the reason for Hanssen's scowl and initial terseness. Although he does not support only gossiping about his colleagues' private lives, he's not above speculating to himself about them. He discards ideas as soon as they cross his mind. Hung over? No, Elliot realises he's never seen Hanssen touch alcohol. Perhaps he just had a late night and is simply tired. The result of a passionate affair? Elliot snorts and smiles to himself, getting carried away, no, more than likely the poor man was up working all night, even on Christmas Day, trying to keep the hospital afloat.

Hanssen has almost finished scrubbing in by the time that Elliot joins him and in an attempt to be sociable – he decides that he needs to make a greater effort, the man obviously needs a friendly face in this place – he tries to engage him in conversation.

"So, did you have a pleasant Christmas, Mr. Hanssen?" Elliot wasn't sure what reaction he was expecting from him but a sideways glance and narrowing eyes wasn't it.

"Passable, Mr. Hope." Hanssen moves away before pausing and looking back at him, his facial expression unreadable but he still seems a little uncomfortable. "And yours?" Elliot smiles and rambles on, telling Hanssen inconsequential details whilst admitting to himself that although it's a start, he has his work cut out for him in his mission to be a friend for Mr. Hanssen. His last thought before he enters theatre behind the Director of Surgery and focusses on his patient only is that perhaps he'll enlist the help of Ms. Shah, she seems to be on friendly terms with him after all.

Sahira drifts awake slowly, enjoying the warmth of the duvet and the softness of the bed. She frowns when she realises Henrik isn't with her, it's still dark and she can make out his phone on the bedside table so he can't have gone far. That realisation is comforting and she drifts back to sleep.

It's nearly nine o'clock by the time that Sahira wakes again, surprised and secretly pleased that Indy hasn't yet bounded into the room and disturbed them. As she stretches to take note of the time, she is aware of gentle aching in muscles she'd almost forgotten she had. Sporting a satisfied smile she turns over to Henrik's side of the bed and pauses as she wonders when she started considering it to be Henrik's side?!

Eyes still closed, she moves towards him, hoping to coax him into something this morning only to find the bed empty and cold – he's been gone some time. Sahira vaguely remembers him getting up at some point during the night but frowns when she can't recall if he came back to bed.

By the time they close up their patient, the relief to both surgeons is visible as the operation was far from straightforward but thankfully didn't result in any problems. Making his way out of theatre, Elliot is quite hungry and contemplating his options for a late breakfast and doesn't notice that Hanssen hasn't followed him and is just about to decide not to wait for him when he spots Ms. Shah walking towards him and he approaches her.

"Hello, Sahira, a good Christmas, I hope?" Peering over his glasses at her she returns his smile until she catches sight of the Director of Surgery leaving the theatre behind him when it disappears.

"It _was_." Elliot frowns, he knows he's missing something but doesn't know what and Hanssen seems not to notice as he comes to stand next to Elliot, looking a little more awkward than he'd want but trying his best not to let it show.

"Ah, Ms. Shah, a word if you would, please."

Elliot watches the Swede stare at Sahira without meeting her eye, he's puzzled but Sahira seems oblivious to Hanssen's scrutiny, furious though. He wonders if they've argued. In an attempt to diffuse the situation which is threatening to develop, Elliot turns his attention to the younger woman.

"I was wondering, Ms. Shah, if at some point we may also have a small word. There is a..." he pauses, searching for the right word "...procedure..." that'll have to do, he decides "...that I would like your input on."

"Certainly, Elliot." She still hasn't responded to Hanssen's request and Elliot winces.

"As you wish, Ms. Shah. Mr. Hope." Hanssen turns smartly and strides off and as he does Elliot watches him, noticing a slight unevenness to his gait, almost as if he'd hurt his leg and was trying to hide it. Elliot turns to Sahira with a frown on his face but knows better than to question that scene and he leads them away, through a different set of doors.

"You've known him longer than anyone else, Ms. Shah. Has he always been so..."

"Rude? Infuriating?" Elliot smiles at her word selection.

"'Abrupt' was my first choice." Sahira sighs.

"For a man with impeccable manners... Never mind, what was it you wanted to talk about, Elliot?" She turns to him, her curiosity evident on her face.

"It can wait, if you two need to sort whatever is bothering you out. My 'procedure' isn't about a patient, per se." Elliot begins to explain his plan to befriend the Swede as they make their way to the cafeteria for some breakfast.

Hanssen sits at his desk and broods, waiting for Sahira. He knows she'll come to him, she's angry and she is almost certain to shout at him. He knows what he has done to cause her anger and he accepts that it's all his fault. He's been stupid. He'd managed to put the problem out of his mind when Elliot called him in for an emergency surgery but his heart nearly stopped this morning when he saw her, the panic returning as he thinks back to this morning.

The world as he sees it currently reminds him of Sweden and Hanssen isn't sure if that's a good thing or not. He runs on, he hasn't been able to sleep after waking suddenly this morning. Too wired to attempt to go back to sleep, he untangled himself from the warm duvet and tiredly got changed before he made his way to the front door and left.

He's only been running for about 30 minutes but is already feeling the effects – he's not run as much recently as he would have liked to, work has seen to that. He has missed this time to himself, it seems to be the only time he gets these days.

Reaching the top of a hill, he spots a good place to let him stop for a moment, stretch and catch his breath. Looking around him as he stretches, searching for any signs of life but apart from a bus and a couple of cars he's not seen anyone else this morning, then again it's only 07:05 on Boxing Day morning. Only the desperate are out now; everyone else is tucked up in bed.

Bed. He should be in bed himself, not out on a dark bank holiday morning with a bitter wind. He grunts as he finishes his stretches and moves off again, along the pavement, heading back home and trying to avoid thinking about bed and about the woman he left asleep in it.

After sixteen and a half years of teaching her, of watching her, of wanting her, last night Henrik Hanssen was finally able to love Sahira Shah. He managed to progress past the pitifully scared attempts at a relationship that he'd been content to use for the previous few months and plunged head first into something which terrifies him.

Hanssen's pace slowed unconsciously as he recalled the events of the previous night. He's glad that no-one from work can see him right now, the smirk he's sure is plastered across his face would give him away and make them all very nervous and / or suspicious depending on who saw it. He's not going to allow this to change anything, even if it is his first adult relationship. After the debacle with Collette at Med School he'd sworn off relationships and after he met Sahira as her consultant mentor as she began her F1 placement, he knew that it would be her or no-one.

When she married Rafi it broke his heart and then it all eventually reduced to a dull ache instead of the constant, gripping pain he found that he'd grown an extra-think protective layer of scar tissue around his heart and he was ok with that, so he kept telling himself. Romantic relationships were an inconvenience at best and he was fine by himself.

Although he outwardly tolerated Sahira's affection and initially tentative friendship, inwardly he alternated between longing for more and praying that she'd stop so he wouldn't be required to attempt to respond or return her actions. Over the years he'd built up such a resistance to any form of emotional attachment or affection, to the extent that when they kissed on Bonfire Night, it took him what seemed like forever just to pluck up the courage to kiss her again, let alone allow their relationship to progress in the way it has.

In a way Henrik is glad that as a result of removing Sahira's shirt last night that all the blood leaving his brain rendered it incapable of higher function because if he'd been capable of thinking, he'd have run away not long after that and certainly before they...

"Shit!" He stops running as suddenly as his thoughts stop and his momentum carries him forward and he trips over the edge of the pavement and sprawls into the road.

Hanssen sits in the road for a moment, making no move to get up, he's aware that he's cut his knee from the fall but it doesn't really register. Instead his mind is threatening a total melt-down, he swears again, unable to comprehend how they could have been so stupid, they're both doctors. He suddenly feels sick and the thought paralyses him. What if she is... 'Oh God,' he thinks, knowing his luck Sahira will be pregnant. With triplets. All girls.

"Fuck." He doesn't often swear but he feels that this situation is an acceptable occasion.

Acceptable? He berates himself 'there's nothing fucking acceptable about this at all'. He still hasn't come to terms with the idea of being a role-model or father figure for Indy and this demonstrates why it is such a stupid idea and he is certainly not ready to become a father.

He's fucked this up royally. Even if Sahira isn't pregnant, the thought that he was careless enough to risk it... He imagines that she'll be angry at him, he deserves it. He constantly expected her to come to her senses and leave him up until last night and in his naivety he hoped that once they made love that they'd stay together forever. He sneers at himself, at his stupidity, he looks up at the sky, hoping for a suggestion but there's nothing.

He needs to speak to her, picking himself up off the tarmac, Henrik turns around and heads back to Sahira's house as quickly as his sore, bloody knee will let him.

**Don't worry, it isn't going to be _that_ much of a problem for them, a little bit of panicking HH is always good to write; I just got the idea in my head and couldn't shift it and thought it'd be funny add in. Anyway, as always, let me know what you think. Thanks. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Sorry guys! Huge delay in updating this. The short story is I've had no internet since the start of the month and I've been slowly going mad! As it is, we got reconnected yesterday and now I'm back and sanity is restored! I have an update for 'Improper Conduct' too so that will be up soon. I've also busted my ankle so I can't do anything but sit and write until I've been to the doctors which means hopefully a few updates quite quickly. Hope you're all well. Usual disclaimers apply.**

Chapter 2

He wouldn't have expected a polite knock from her before waiting for him to call her into the office like any other staff member would do but neither is Hanssen anticipating the violent slam of his office door which startles him out of his doze; he'd moved away from his desk and over to the sofa and he stands to face Sahira.

She's standing in the middle of his office looking furious and, he notes, his eyes running up and down her, looking absolutely stunning. He tempers that line of thought as she continues to glare at him silently.

"Sahira..." He falters, unsure how to continue, suddenly aware that this is their first personal argument. They've fought about work before but they've never had a personal fight and he doesn't really know what to do – not sure whether the usual rules apply.

Usually she'll come storming into his office, tear his attention away from whatever he's doing, shout at him and wait for him to respond, to remind her of the rules and of official policy and then she'll go and do whatever it was she wanted to do anyway and he'll let her, unable to say no to her about anything. However, this situation isn't following the accepted and usual patten of behaviour, Sahira still hasn't said a word to him.

Outwardly Hanssen hopes that he looks calm enough on the idea now he's feels that he's painfully out of his depth. 'I'm not waving, I'm drowning.' He can't remember where he heard that quote but right now it's how he's feeling, like a fraud who is just about to be found out.

After his ridiculous mistake last night, what was he thinking? 'Oh that's right' he tells himself 'he wasn't thinking'. 'The Director of Surgery can't remember something as simple as contraception – he's a moron and both Sahira and Indy are far better off without him. He's managed to prove his Dad right, again. The man has been dead for thirty years and he still has the ability to...'

At some point during this internal struggle he realises that he has slumped back down on his sofa and is holding his head in his hands. The time yesterday it was all going well enough and in the space of 24 hours he's managed to ruin it all.

At first he resisted this relationship, not actively but he was resisting because it changed his routines and played havoc with his thought processes. Now, now he is so used to her almost constant presence at both work and home that the thought of not having it is intolerable to him.

He pinches his nose, before looking to his left, towards his desk and away from the woman in front of him, blinking as he tries to settle his thoughts into some semblance of order.

"Henrik..." He glances over at the sound of his name to see Sahira looking at him without the anger of earlier,

As she watches the fight leave him, sinking back down to the sofa, continuing to beat himself up, Sahira starts to feel guilty and considers the possibility that she has over-reacted. Hanssen was obviously called into emergency surgery this morning and from what Elliot said, it wasn't an easy one, she's a little relieved it wasn't hers. He won't have had time to have written a note to her, explaining why he left, but something, anything to let her know he's not had a change of mind and left her, not after last night.

"Henrik..." the anger's gone, she feels stupid for allowing it to dictate her like it has, "how was surgery?" She doesn't know how to voice her problem, she's not even sure what the problem is any more and settles for an inane question instead.

She can see his momentary surprise and uncertainty before he masks it. It obviously wasn't what he was expecting her to say to him and Sahira does not think she wants to now what he would have been expecting her to say. She wants to tell him that it's not a trap, but isn't certain that he'll believe her.

"A successful operation." Sahira sighs, perhaps she should shout at him like she usually does when they fight at work, they'd probably both be more comfortable with it. This silence is becoming a little awkward

"Sahira, I must apologise for my actions..." He's cut off by Sahira.

"I know you were called into surgery, Henrik. It's stupid and a little insecure but all I wanted was a note or a message of some kind from you, just letting me know where you'd gone – I'd have worked out why." She turns away from him and her voice drops to a whisper and he has to strain to catch her words.

"I just wanted to know that you hadn't fucked me and left." Hanssen is a little stunned and his eyes widen at her choice of words, he reaches out to place his hand on her shoulder, his own imminent confession forgotten but Sahira shrugs away from his touch.

"I would like to think you know me better than that. I couldn't do that to you – not after waiting sixteen years." Hanssen doesn't know where her sudden insecurity has come from and it makes him a little nervous – she's supposed to be the expert in this relationship, confident and able to support him when he needs reassuring, not the other way round, he doesn't know what he's doing. He gets his answer a moment later when Sahira reminds him of the way her 'relationship' with Rafi started. He concedes that point but insists he sent her a text message.

He finds himself reverting back to the Mr. Hanssen of before their relationship; he is craving some physical contact with her but doesn't know if she would welcome it so he does nothing, just watches her and wishes he could have one last kiss before he confesses his mistake to her and she runs away and leaves him for good.

"Sahira, I still need to apologise to you, I..." She cuts him off again and he purses his lips.

"If it's about earlier, forget it, I over-reacted. Apparently it's an endocrine problem..."

"It isn't and if you'd let me..." It's like conducting a conversation with Sir Frasier, except Hanssen is tempted to kiss her to silence her to allow him to get a word in edgeways, something he has no intention of trying with Sir Frasier.

"Then what? It isn't? You don't? Do you regret this? Us?" For the second time in as many minutes Hanssen is stunned, he's rarely been able to follow Sahira's thought patterns over the years. There appears to be no logical progression with her and he wonders how on earth she has come to that conclusion. "Henrik?" He realises he hasn't answered her.

"No, of course not. I, I, no." He sighs and lets his confusion show, "I'm sorry, I don't know how you reached that conclusion, Sahira. It would appear that the list of what I don't know or am unable to do correctly is ever-growing; you still haven't allowed me to apologise for the huge mistake I made yesterday." He can see that Sahira is confused by his statement and Hanssen doesn't want her jumping to any more tangential conclusions but finds he can't just come out and say what's on his mind and been worrying him sick since the thought crossed his mind.

He can almost feel his masks going on and he transforms into Mr. Hanssen but it's the only way he can deal with the current situation. He assures her that there was something he did, or, rather he didn't do which is what he wishes to apologise for. He lets his mask slip a little when he tells her with a smirk that he is refusing to apologise for making love to her and he's relieved to see a small blush make its way across her face. He begins to guide her closer to the answer, using the same kind of problem-solving tactics as when he was her mentor.

He has successfully got Sahira talking through the previous night's events and he is trying not to react to her voice describing their evening. He's concentrating on not letting her know how she's affecting him that he doesn't realise she's stopped speaking and he hurriedly opens his eyes in a panic, knowing she has worked it out.

"Oh, God. Henrik..." She says before burying herself in his arms. That's it. Confirmation that he has ruined everything. He tightens his arms around her, determined to enjoy this final hug until the implications hit her and she decides to slap him. Steeling himself for the expected outburst he hears a choked sound emanate from her and concerned he uses a hand to tilt her face up to his and he realises that Sahira is laughing. At him.

Sahira sees the shift in his face and hurries to convince him that it isn't him _per se _that she is laughing at. Over the past couple of months she's had a greater insight into how his mind works when confronted with any personal issues: "Tell me, how far did your mind run away with the possibilities?"

He can't meet her eyes and tries to move away from her, to regain some distance and some control of the conversation but she tightens her hold on him, determined to know how much he panicked. When he finally relents, Sahira nearly puts her teeth through her lip, trying not to laugh again. He allows her to steer him back down onto his sofa, settling herself across his legs, she explains why pregnancy wouldn't be an issue. Sahira enjoys seeing the blush work its way across his face and she can't resist a final dig before she steals a long overdue kiss. She doesn't often see him squirming and she's never seen him this embarrassed and she's waited years for this moment.

"So no chance of triplets, Henrik."

Elliot is turning a corner on his way to his office and with his attention on the files in his hand he nearly walks into Ms. Shah and their boss, Mr. Hanssen walking side by side without a trace of the anger which marred their earlier meeting. "Oh, err, sorry, Ms. Shah, err, Mr. Hanssen. Is everything alright?"

"Hello Elliot." Sahira replies with a smile and says that she is heading off home and going to pick her son up from the crèche. Elliot watches her go briefly but returns his attention to the tall man next to him whose focus is on Ms. Shah until she disappears from sight an unusual expression on his face.

Elliot smiles, almost certain he's caught the 'unfeeling' Director of Surgery looking longingly after one of his registrars. Elliot schools his face into his best fatherly expression. "Well?" To his amusement, Hanssen looks a little guilty but he recovers smoothly enough. "Mr. Hope?"

"Is everything ok, Mr. Hanssen? Things looked a little frosty earlier." Actually, when he thinks about it, it was fiery, not frosty from Sahira, even the Swede looked a little unsure of himself around her.

"Thank you Mr. Hope. Our earlier 'issue' has been resolved, thankfully without a need for violence." Elliot supposes that if anyone was likely to wallop the Swede in an argument and live to tell the tale it would be Ms. Shah. "Needless to say I have been put firmly in my place and convinced of my mistake." Elliot nods knowingly at the other man's long suffering look and is about to comment on the similarities of their relationship to his marriage when pieces begin to fall into place.

"Mr. Hanssen..."

"Good day, Mr. Hope." The Swede's face is once again unreadable and Elliot watches him leave before he can finish his question. Perhaps he'll press Ms. Shah for information when she's in tomorrow. Glancing at his watch, Elliot decides it's probably lunchtime and ambles towards his office, focus back on the folders he's carrying.

Sahira has picked up Indy and they are making their way out of the main hospital entrance and across to the car park when Indy spots Hanssen behind them and pulls free of Sahira's grip to run over to him. Acquiescing to the boy's demands to be picked up, Hanssen's request to be called 'Henrik' and not 'Daddy' are ignored as Indy babbles away to his new 'Daddy'. Hanssen gives up and he tries to shrug as he catches up with Sahira in response to her amused look.

They reach Hanssen's car first and he transfers the boy back to his mother, explaining that he's going to get some clothes and he cautiously wonders if it would be ok if he came back over to Sahira's house. She beams and he is relieved, perhaps he isn't as hopeless at all of this as he thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: Once more a huge delay in updating, apologies but life has been a bit of a headache recently. I've moved house, had job interviews, waiting to hear back from one, we're having building work done too so I'm living in the living room out of cardboard boxes for the next six weeks, ugh. Anyway, that's no excuse for not updating, I know. I'm hanging my head in shame.**

**Usual disclaimers apply, as always let me know what you like, what you don't like and if you've got any suggestions for future ideas feel free to let me know, I'll try and incorporate as much as possible.**

**I've got an exciting story bit coming up soon, to make up for the lack of plot in this chapter - maybe as soon as next chapter, we'll see. Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 3

After leaving Sahira and Indy, who seemed most reluctant to detach his death grip on Hanssen much to the amusement of Sahira (and if he didn't know better, he would suspect them of conspiring to embarrass him), Hanssen makes his way back towards his car and watches them leave with a small spark of amusement and affection for the antics of the boy trying to wriggle around in the back seat, already driving his mother mad.

On his way back to his house, Hanssen's thoughts are centred on his relationship with his best friend, his only real friend since he came to England and the development that they've undergone to reach where they are now. He doesn't linger when he gets to his house, packing a bag as expediently as possible; he can forgo the shower here and wait until he is at Sahira's once more. He wonders briefly is he could entice Sahira to take a shower with him but dismisses the idea as soon as he thinks of it.

Sighing unhappily, he admits the major reason - he doesn't want Sahira to see his scars, as nice as the idea of showering together is, he's still not comfortable with the idea of her knowing about them. He knows that she already knows they are there, but he is hoping that the English expression 'out of sight, out of mind' would prove applicable in this instance.

Performing a cursory inspection of each room results in Hanssen being satisfied that all is how he left it and that he is far too eager to return to Sahira's house which seems so much warmer and accepting in contrast to his own house in all its Scandinavian minimalist glory. It would help to explain why he has spent more time there recently, although Sahira hasn't commented about not staying at his, they usually end up at hers. He craves the warmth and obvious love that her home radiates and her son is an important factor too; Hanssen had never realised that such a small creature could create mess on such a widespread scale. He has only just recently garnered an understanding of Sahira's use of the term 'Hurricane Indy'.

The traffic is still light at lunchtime on Boxing Day and Hanssen makes the journey from his house to Sahira's home in good time, although it takes him a little longer than he'd have liked to park, almost everyone in Sahira's road appears to have family staying or seasonal visitors and his parking space from this morning is gone.

Hanssen sits in the car for a minute or so, key still in the ignition wondering if he's doing the right thing. He's spending a lot of time with Sahira and Indy and although he feels that he can't spend enough time with her, he is suddenly concerned that it's too much time for her. He doesn't know what sparked that thought but he can't dismiss it.

His confidence begins to falter, as he approaches the front door, feeling unsure of himself. Sahira has given him a key and he's used it before and invited him into her home, into her life and into her bed but Hanssen is gripped by an uncertainty, their relationship has changed again as of last night and he doesn't quite know where he stands once more, should he continue to wait for a new invitation or charge ahead as if nothing has changed. He curses his own lack of experience in this matter and laments the lack of guidelines.

He feels tense with uncertainty, if he was at work he'd trust his instincts and act on them but finds he doesn't have that option available to him now. Part of him wants to run away back to his cold and lonely house, telling himself that it's what he really wants, the solitary life which has served him perfectly fine for thirty odd years. Part of him wants to believe that she does love him and that it isn't some kind of idle curiosity about bedding the Swede as it was with Collette back at Med School.

Sahira unknowingly cuts off his internal struggle by picking this moment to open the door with a bin bag in her hand and both are startled as they become aware of one another. Sahira recovers quicker.

"Henrik! Don't lurk like that!" She scolds him but her eyes betray her humour at the situation. "In fact, you can make yourself useful and put this out. I'll take your bag for you." He blinks at the rush of words but nods and silently takes the bag out of her hands in exchange for his, putting it in the wheelie bin before following her in the door. He gets two or three feet inside the door before he has to stop, trying not to walk into Sahira who has stopped and turned around to face him.

"It's not like you to be this quiet," she teases lightly. "Aren't you going to say anything?" She wraps her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chests and he stares almost in wonder at her and her unquestioning acceptance of him, even after his 'mistake' yesterday. He really doesn't deserve her. Slowly he reaches up and enfolds her in his arms, aware that part of the frost of his earlier anxiety is starting to thaw but he still can't quite shift the direction of this thoughts.

"Hello." He croaks as he rests his head gently on top of hers and he cherishes the comfort and love she's offering. It's a heady feeling and he is sure that he will never be able to pay back the kindness she has shown him. He kisses the top of her head and brings up a hand to tilt her head towards his and he kisses her softly, almost chastely before pulling away to look at her.

"I…" He can't finish his sentence, his words are stuck and he closes his eyes, his frustration evident to Sahira who surprises him by resuming the kiss almost innocently brushing his lips with her own. Stepping even closer to her, Hanssen drinks in the sensation and returns the kiss, enjoying the feel of her against him, fully expecting her to slap him in a moment for being so presumptuous.

In the end the slap comes from Indy. Hanssen felt rather than heard the boy's attempt to insinuate himself in between him and Sahira making his views on their kiss quite clear. He pulls away, embarrassed as Sahira picks up her son. He watches uncomfortably at the unfolding scene and Sahira's obvious affection for Indy as she teases him, smothering him in kisses, it's an utterly foreign concept to him when Henrik considers his own father and he suddenly feels out of his depth again, an intruder and wishes he could escape and not bear witness to this. He doesn't react immediately when Indy squeals at him, trying to escape his mother's clutches and looks to him, calling him "Daddy" again.

Sahira allows Hanssen to take Indy from her grasp and he awkwardly holds the squirming boy to him, trying to correct his mistake. "Not Daddy, Henrik."

"Hinrek." The boy babbles, "close enough." Hanssen sighs, after a couple of attempts that is the closest Indy has gotten to saying his name. He chances a quick look at Sahira who is attempting to contain her amusement at the butchering of his name and fails when Indy promptly reverts back to 'Daddy' as soon as Hanssen puts him down and runs into the living room and Hanssen's bemused gaze follows him.

"Everything ok, Henrik?" He looks back at Sahira, his expression blank, still unsure of himself and where he fits in and until he knows he doesn't want to risk saying or doing something he shouldn't. As he retreats back behind his facade, he curses Mr. Hope for calling him in, they should have dealt with this this morning instead of letting his uncertainty fester.

"Fine." He ignores the look on her face, "may I come in?" Sahira steps aside, looking confused at the change and watches Henrik head into the living room and she follows a moment later. She catches sight of Henrik sitting on the sofa with Indy firmly ensconced in his lap, both happily playing with Indy's new toy. Without saying a word, Sahira sweeps past, heading into the kitchen unaware of a pair of eyes tracking her sadly.

Mechanically making tea for both of them, Sahira is puzzled by Henrik's behaviour and its changes, his sudden aloofness returning. It's a very different state to the one she left him in at the hospital just over an hour ago.

'It's almost like he's retreated back behind Mr. Hanssen' she mulls over the topic. Lost in her thoughts Sahira doesn't realise that the kettle had boiled a couple of minutes earlier or that she now has an audience, a tall, silent Swedish audience. Regarding her silently as he leans on the door frame, Sahira turns to head back into the lounge but stops short upon seeing Hanssen in the door way, openly staring at her.

A long, silent thirty seconds pass and Hanssen and Sahira remain rooted to their respective spots, unsure where this tension between them has come from, not liking it but not knowing how to resolve it. Sahira makes the first move, stepping towards Henrik with arms open, she is relieved when he allows the contact without flinching or moving away but he doesn't make the move to return it.

"Do you want me to leave?" The question is so unexpected that Sahira isn't able to answer for a moment and the given the flare of anger it provokes, she concedes that it's probably a good thing; she doesn't want to say something she'll regret.

"Do you want to leave?"

"It's not about what I want, Sahira." The anger flare is back and part of her hopes it shows in her expression or tone of voice. She knows she needs to calm or this could spiral out of control quite quickly but can't quite manage it.

"What isn't about what you want?" She isn't in the mood for him to play the martyr and almost snaps out the question. He doesn't answer. She sighs. "I've made tea, I think we need to talk. Go sit down, I'll be in in a minute." She turns away from him, clearly dismissing him and not noticing his expression as he leaves.

Armed with two cups of tea, Sahira stalks back into the living room and can't suppress her relief that the most frustrating Swede she has ever met is still here. Checking that Indy is still mesmerised by whatever programme has caught his attention on the TV, she turns to face Hanssen, handing him a cup of tea before taking a seat at the far end of the sofa, sadly noticing how tense he is. She sighs quietly as she looks at him, wondering what's happened to cause this behaviour. She gives them a minute or so, allowing them both to sip at their tea as a distraction.

"What do you want?"

"I don't know." Sahira can see that he honestly doesn't know what he wants and the flare of anger from earlier all but disappears.

"Is this about last night?" Sahira blurts out suddenly, realising that this is the first time they've seen each other at home since last night's events and she wonders if that is the reasons for Henrik's sudden retreat into Mr. Hanssen.

Sahira could kick herself until she sees his eyes widen a little upon hearing her question and she assumes that she is correct, his pedantic and overly corrective nature would have kicked in by now if she wasn't on the right track so his silence is telling enough.

"How do you feel?" Nothing. No verbal response or change in the masked expression he's wearing, she should know better than to ask him questions like that; he continues to stare at the now empty mug of tea in his hands. Sahira rephrases her question, searching for some kind of clue from the man sitting opposite her.

"Do you regret it?"

"No. Yes. No, I…" The words are tripping over themselves as he struggles to answer her question. Sahira waits, allowing him time to formulate a response, she's relieved that he responded to her at least. After a few moments he appears to have come to a conclusion and he meets her eyes.

"I regret my actions this morning, leaping to conclusions as I did," he pauses and Sahira is careful to keep her expression neutral as he looks away. She doesn't want to influence or inhibit his words; he struggles at the best of times speaking about how he is feeling and she realises the importance of allowing him to finish, "but I don't for a moment regret making love to you last night."

She beams at him even though he isn't looking at her, immediately she feels the tension in the room lessen and Sahira scoots closer to Henrik at the end of the sofa, pleased to see that he remains less tense than before.

"I'm very glad to hear that." She reaches him and snuggles into his side, his right arm already raised and covering her shoulder; holding her to him. She is glad to hear that, when she woke up and found him gone, she had initially worried that she had pushed him too far, before becoming angry that he had left but to hear that he doesn't regret it or blame her is a weight off her mind and she relaxes against him. Whatever it is that has been bothering him, she is confident that they'll be able to work through it when they work out what it is.

"So what was this performance in aid of, Henrik?" He looks down at her through his glasses, his expression still unreadable to her although she can discern some sadness and she hopes she isn't responsible for that. She frowns as he looks away again, staring into the distance.

"I was uncertain." He answers and if Sahira didn't know better she'd assume he was muttering absent-mindedly to himself. "I, I didn't wish to presume. We changed things last night…" He doesn't get any further because Sahira silences him with two fingers on his lips and a gentle kiss to his chin.

"Oh, Henrik, you daft man, we haven't changed, we've…" She pauses, trying to think of a suitable word. "We've grown." She states confidently, inspired. She catches him dramatically rolling his eyes in response to her comment and jabs him in the ribs.

"Ok, that was corny," Sahira concedes that one, "but you know what I mean – we haven't changed. I'm still me, you're still you and nothing will change the way I feel about you." That catches his attention and he snaps his head around to look at her, almost leaning over her, pinning her to the back of the sofa with his gaze and she can't look away.

"I know how you feel; you feel that I'm daft." Suddenly Sahira finds herself pinned to the sofa with an amused Swede looking down at her, and she laughs, twisting her body a little until she is a bit more comfortable and less awkwardly bent.

"Of course not," she reaches a hand up to his cheek and he doesn't look convinced. "I love you."

"I love _all_ of you." She adds, pointedly referring to the abhorrent scarring on his back, gently stroking her hands under his waistcoat, feeling the ridges and cuts. She curses a little under her breath as his face shutters and he drops his head to her shoulder and mumbles something which she has to make him repeat.

"You deserve someone better."

"Better than you? There is no-one better for me than you, you stubborn man." Sahira states with a long-suffering sigh. She doubts anyone would seriously put up with her the way that he has and she has no inclination to find out.

"I don't understand that; I can't offer you the same things as someone younger, better looking and without…" he shrugs but they both know what he is referring to.

"You're missing a quite important factor," he looks up in painful anticipation and Sahira can see that he is expecting her to 'come to her senses' at any moment and she punctuates each following word with a chaste kiss. "I. Love. You."

"More fool you." She would have been annoyed with him if he'd said that earlier but she can tell that his heart isn't in the jibe and she responds in kind.

"Quite possibly." Stealing another quick kiss she pushes at him to get off her and he complies too readily, Sahira feels obliged to explain, sensing his moment of panic.

"I'm going to put Indy down for a nap, then I'll be back for you, mister. Don't go anywhere." The Gods are smiling on them today because Indy falls asleep in minutes and Sahira bounds back down the stairs to find Henrik exactly where she left him, relieved that he hasn't bolted.

"Come on, Henrik." She grasps his hands and pulls him to standing and allows her to lead him back upstairs to their room. As they get closer, Hanssen's movements become more confident and Sahira is relieved when he returns her squeeze of his hand.

Unlike the previous evening, this time their lovemaking is relaxed and without any urgency. Hanssen slowly peels off Sahira's clothes, following his hands with his mouth pressing kisses to her skin.

This is how he wanted this morning to go, he thinks, he had every intention of returning to bed with her after he had finished his run and waking her up, determining that she didn't have any regrets and continuing what they started the previous night. At least until he nearly gave himself a heart attack, convinced that she was pregnant. The icing on the cake was that Elliott had rung him, needing his help, not that he can blame him, it wasn't a straightforward operation and the correct call to make.

"Please don't." He allows Sahira to remove his glasses, placing them on the bedside table but resists her attempts to remove his shirt, still uncomfortable at what would be revealed to her in the daylight. Frowning she complies and proceeds to divest him of the rest of his clothing.

"It's just me, Henrik. I'm not going anywhere," he watches her stand up and move towards him, placing her hands on his before undoing the buttons at his wrists. Her hands move up his forearms to the buttons at his neck and he listens to her talking at him, reassuring him as she undoes the top button.

Once all the buttons are undone she takes a step back and waits for him to remove his shirt. 'Dramatic and unnecessary' he thinks as he pauses, deciding whether to remove his shirt.

Sahira can see his masks and protective walls fall as he takes off his shirt, baring himself to her emotionally as well as physically. She never dreamed that it would be this hard work but he's worth it, he's her friend first and foremost and she steps forward once the shirt flutters to the floor to put her arms around him and hugs him.

She realises that this movement was unexpected for him but he recovers quickly enough, obviously appreciating the gesture and reminder of their friendship upon which this relationship is based as he relaxes and returns her embrace.

"I don't know why you put up with this and me." She hears him murmur and she lifts her head to refute his statement but he doesn't allow her to do so, silencing her protest by kissing her. She thinks that she 'probably shouldn't let him get away with this too often' to shut her up.

Hanssen showers first when they finally make it out of bed and he gives her a look as if he was about to say something to her but before Sahira can enquire, he disappears out of the door. When she finishes showering and changing herself she heads into Indy's room to find it empty. Ever since Rafi took Indy for that week, she's been jumpy about not finding him when or where she expects to, she heads down the stairs quicker than she normally would, he isn't in the kitchen, and she can't see Henrik either.

Appearing in the front room she stops and takes a deep breath, relieved. Henrik is flat out on the sofa, feet over one end, head propped up on a couple of cushions at the other softly snoring with Indy sitting on top of him playing with his toy ambulance. He's got one reassuring hand resting on the small boy, ensuring he won't fall and Sahira falls for him all over again. She turns back into the kitchen, finding a now cool cup of tea waiting for her; she reheats it in the microwave and spots her phone on the side. When her tea is ready she steals back into the living room to take a picture, smiling to herself as she imagines Henrik's likely expression if he ever saw the picture.

She settles down in the chair opposite them content to watch them all afternoon. Lunch can wait.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Less of that rubbish from before, let's have some plot this time!**

**This is the second chapter I've posted today so make sure that you've read Chapter 3 before reading this one!**

**Other than that, usual disclaimers, yadda, yadda, yadda. Enjoy!**

"Ok, the next item on our agenda is the intake of..."

"Apologies gentlemen." Hanssen stands up, interrupting the man at the head of the table who is unofficially chairing the meeting. "I find myself with surgery to perform very soon and ward rounds to complete. If you will all excuse me. Good morning." He nods in the general direction of the suits sitting around the table before taking his leave as quickly as he could whilst still appearing this side of polite and before any of the suits could respond.

He sighs in relief as he shuts the door - to say he's glad to be out of that breakfast meeting is an understatement; that was only the third item on the agenda and it's already 8:36am, ward rounds will have to wait until after his surgery.

As he strides off to his office to change into his scrubs, he feels very relieved to have escaped out of there, his attention had been wandering almost since Hanssen stepped foot into the room nearly an hour ago. He didn't want to attend the meeting in the first instance and privately he fails to see the benefit of a breakfast meeting - his work day is long enough as it is without adding to it.

He is in theatre with Ms. Naylor this morning to his personal trepidation. He would much rather operate with Sahira when Darwin need a GS specialist on board; she knows his methods of working by now and doesn't try and clash with him once they're in theatre. Unfortunately her shift doesn't start for another couple of hours. As he makes his way back down to Darwin's Theatres where the operation is happening, he mulls over Ms. Naylor and her recent behaviour, he can't put his finger on it but something has changed since the start of the year. She seems less combative and it makes him uneasy when he doesn't have an answer for the change in behaviour.

"Nice of you to join us down from on high." Is Jac's greeting and Hanssen relaxes a little whilst outwardly glaring at her, business as usual then. His response is typical and the pattern is established. They head into the theatre and Hanssen takes his customary position watching the screen, providing a GS opinion where necessary, trying not to let his mind wander.

Sahira can feel the bed shifting a little as Henrik gets up and pads away to the bathroom. They seem to spend most of the time at her house and he only seems to return to his to get clothes and pick up his post. After their little blip just after Christmas they seem to be comfortably settling into a routine. It is rare that they spend any evenings at his and even rarer that they spend nights apart now, both of them used to the others' presence and warmth.

Sahira bleakly opens an eye and waits for it to focus on the clock's display, it's too early even for Henrik to get up and she smiles a little in relief - she's not really a morning person - before snuggling back down into the warmth of the duvet.

Hanssen makes his way back from the bathroom quickly, it's cold at the end of January and it's too early for the heating to have come on, he's not hanging around. He slides back into bed and the combined warmth of him and Sahira feels wonderful after his brief venture outside the duvet. He moves a little, turning onto his side and getting comfortable, moulding himself to Sahira before reaching around her with his right arm, holding her to him. He falls asleep again, soothed by the smell of the shampoo that she uses and by the sounds of the wind and rain outside, battering the windows, safe in the knowledge that he's inside, in the warmth. With Sahira.

His head snaps up. A branch perhaps? Something hits the bedroom window and Hanssen is immediately awake, half raised, tense and straining to hear any other noises that are out of the ordinary before he can register what he's doing. He's almost sure that Rafi wouldn't try anything but he admits that he can't be certain, much to his unease and it would be irresponsible to discount him. He can feel some adrenaline in his system in response to the sudden start.

"Henrik?" Comes an unexpected and sleepy question from Sahira and he shushes her. After another minute or so of straining his ears and tensely holding himself, he accepts the possibility that it was just something in the wind and nothing untoward. He relaxes and goes to lie back down, knowing that he won't sleep or that he shouldn't if he wants to get up and make it to his meeting on time: it's 5:25am.

35 minutes until he should get up, it's horrible outside and he's not getting up until he has to. Mulling over the change in his attitude since he started sharing his bed with Sahira, he doesn't realise that he's absent-mindedly stroking his fingers along Sahira's torso until she wriggles back against him and he stops, whispering an apology into her hair.

Hanssen knows the heating will come on soon - at Sahira's insistence and although it's something he's never bothered with, he's found that a burst of heating in the morning before they get up is quite nice, takes the edge off the mornings. He realises simultaneously that he's rambling to himself and wasting time that could be better spent.

He and Sahira have made love several times in the past couple of weeks since Christmas and Hanssen finds he is slowly overcoming his reluctance and finding his footing, so to speak. He still feels a little uncomfortable when Sahira can see his scars but she hasn't flinched, run away or openly pitied him and his confidence has grown.

He feels like a child when she tells him that she loves him but part of him craves the affection she shows him and although he is not demonstrative, has never been, he tries his best to openly return her affections. He isn't the only one benefitting from their relationship either, Sahira's son, Indy has taken to following Hanssen about whenever he can, insisting on playing with him and it amuses Sahira although Hanssen still feels a little uncomfortable, what if he reverts back to his own father's behaviour?

Since making love the first time, Hanssen has found that he has quickly become accustomed to that aspect of their relationship but has yet to initiate anything between them and he intends to rectify that this morning, pulling Sahira closer to him, kissing the back of her neck while his hand explored the curve of her breast before trailing his lips over her shoulder and collarbone as she turns to face him, still half-asleep.

"Henrik?"

"Who else would it be, Ms. Shah?" He tries to sound offended and captures her lips with his own, she seems to have woken up a little and trails her hands back over him, sleepily making him shiver. He's relived that she's avoiding his back and is pathetically grateful that she hasn't stopped him. The idea that she thought he was worth it was yet another confusing new experience, and one he had to admit was eager to explore in more detail.

Shifting his weight a little, Henrik rolls on top of Sahira, using his body to hold her to the bed. Without breaking the kiss, he finds both her hands and raises them above her head, keeping them there. She arches her back in retaliation, shifting her hips against his and Henrik hisses at the movement, starting to lose his focus. Determined to continue with some semblance of control he turns his attention to the layers of clothing separating them. When Henrik finally gets her t-shirt out of the way, the cool morning air makes her gasp and he smirks into her mouth, trying to take control of the kiss but he finds that Sahira has other ideas and she took control of their kiss, her tongue sliding against his before he caught her lower lip gently between his teeth and felt her shudder in response.

He was vaguely aware that she was working his trousers down over his almost painful erection, but it was a distant sensation, and not really very important until his breath caught in his lungs when she touched him and wrapped her hand around him. Biting back a laugh, Sahira took the chance to explore in more detail, listening to his breath hitch as she stroked him and feeling him lean back and arch slightly into her hand. He felt so alive under her hand, warm and vital and so hard she could feel his pulse.

He was struggling to keep his focus on her and ignore what she was doing to him but was unable to maintain his focus. Leaning back he grabs her wrist, stopping her ministrations; delightful as they are, Henrik finds he can't think straight and draws her arm back up to above her head. Balancing part of his weight on an elbow he holds her hands in place, not trusting her not to try to reciprocate. Regaining some clarity his other hand trails down her body and Henrik's mouth follows as far as he can, licking, kissing or gently biting any skin that he wishes, enjoying her responses.

He feels a flare of amusement and satisfaction as his fingers find the source of her arousal, the scent overwhelming. Sahira's hips arch and her fingers tightened almost painfully around his hand and she moans his name which almost proves too much for him. Looking down at her body, relaxed and trusting, Henrik felt the same sense of wonder that he had felt during their first time, and every time since then; he truly didn't understand why she was with him.

Meeting her gaze, Henrik can see that her eyes were a little out of focus with pleasure and he swallows before moving. Sahira gasps softly in his ear when he enters her and he relishes the rasp of her nails on his shoulders as he kissed her deeply before starting to move. His hard, thin body pressed against her soft curves as her hands slid down his horribly scarred back and she wrapped her legs around his bony hips, moving in time to every thrust.

After some time, it might have been a minute or a day for all Hanssen was aware, he could suddenly feel her tightening around him as she cried out and it took him by surprise. As he came, shuddering with the force of his pleasure, Henrik wondered yet again if he'd ever find the courage to tell her what she really meant to him. She'd seen who he really was and she was still here. It was too much to take in sometimes. It was almost certainly the wrong time to propose to her but Henrik decides there and then that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her even if he doesn't deserve her.

She gave him a gentle smile and asked softly, "what was that in aid of? Not that I'm not appreciative of you waking me up like that, but..."

Shrugging, he smiled at her with a goofy grin judging by her expression. "No particular reason other than I just wanted to." Hanssen found that it had been nice to actively surprise her for once – satisfying though their lovemaking was, he knew he still had a hell of a lot to learn and she was usually the one taking the lead. Leaning up, she kissed him lightly on the lips. "If you want a shower before Indy wakes up, you should go now."

"Mmm hmm." He mumbles at her, not wanting to move away from Sahira, soft, warm and inviting underneath him and he rests his head on her shoulder once more. They doze for a few minutes, savouring their time before the world intrudes on them once more.

"Shit, Henrik!" Sahira suddenly tries ineffectually to push him off of her. "Henrik!"

"Hmm?" He's too relaxed at the moment to care, the house could be on fire for all he cares and nuzzles at her neck.

"You're going to be late!" He tenses after a few moments when her quietly hissed words permeate his currently foggy consciousness and with a groan he rolls off her and ready to dive into the bathroom he glances at the clock.

06:08am - hardly late. He can't muster the effort to glare at her though he suspects that without his glasses and stark naked it wouldn't have the usual effect. He gets up from the bed, finding his pajamas and putting them on before crossing to Sahira's side of the bed with her over-sized t-shirt that she was wearing to sleep in his hand; perched on the edge, he leans over and kisses her softly before throwing the t-shirt at her and swiftly retreats to the bathroom to shower and attempt to make himself appear less undead than he currently does, leaving Sahira buried in the covers, her eyes following him, amused at his playful antics.

"It's good to see you more relaxed these days, Mr. Hansen." Hanssen is on Darwin ward trying not to smirk at Elliott's casual comment, keeping his face neutral whilst his mind briefly drifts back to his early morning. Sahira had warned him that Elliott was determined to befriend the Swede much to Hanssen's bemusement.

"Indeed." Hanssen did hope that would be the end of Elliott's comments and attempts at small talk and it was only the CTU phone ringing which thankfully prevented the man from continuing his train of thought. Hanssen was hoping to use the call as a distraction and disappear back to the sanctuary of his office when Sahira relayed the details to Greg and Jac at the desk which made him pause.

Hanssen watched Greg volunteer himself to work with Sahira with a glare and pursed lips. He wasn't certain of the emotion that scene generated in him, like anger but subtly different. He felt the need to speak to Sahira when they got home tonight; he abhored the idea of any details of his private life being made public but perhaps everyone (well, Greg) should be made aware that Sahira was his. And only his.

He stood off to one side, not immediately visible as Greg and Sahira reappear a few minutes later, clad in the green CTU jumpsuits and head towards the lifts. Hanssen feels pathetically relieved when Sahira turns around to look for him and he nods at her before watching them leave the ward. Glancing down he sees that his ward round notes are complete and that it was just Mr. Hope detaining him. Now that Sahira has left the ward, Hanssen finds he has no desire to stay either.

Finally excusing himself from Elliott's grasp, Hanssen makes his way off the ward, thinking about Sahira as he makes his way back up to his office. He manages to make a sizeable dent in his 'to do' list over the next hours or so and is able to put Sahira and the CTU call-out out of his mind. He has a meeting with Sir Frasier later this afternoon and he needs to prepare himself for it, mentally more than anything. He sighs, ever since the plastics debacle of several months ago, the other man has insisted on regular meetings, they don't achieve much and Hanssen privately admits they are a waste of time and good for nothing but migraines. However, if it means that he doesn't have to put up with 'management consultants', he'll suffer Sir Frasier every couple of weeks.

Hanssen answers the phone on his desk before the second ring, not even thinking about not answering the phone. "Hanssen."

"Mr. Hanssen," glancing at the phone's display he can see it's an internal extension number, from Darwin.

"Yes." His reply is brisk as he calculates what the call may be about.

"We got a call from the CTU Ambulance, it's on its way back..." His initial reaction is to tell Ms. Naylor that he has other things to do than playing control room but then he detects the pause; it's unlike Jac to pull any punches verbally and her hesitation concerns him.

"Ms. Naylor?"

"There's been, an accident at the site..." Hanssen is thankful she's not one to waste words in his experience but he would appreciate her getting to the point and is about to tell her so when she continues. He barely hears the rest of Jac's words as she outlines that either Greg or Sahira have been badly injured but she doesn't have any further information on which one of them it is.

"Thank you, Ms. Naylor," and he is thankful that she has seen fit to inform him. "Let me know when they arrive." He hangs up, stunned. He attempts to return to his paperwork but his focus has gone, he retreats to the window, hoping to see the ambulance pull up even though his office is facing the wrong side of the hospital. He waits, unmoving.

He visibly jumps when the phone breaks the tense silence of the room, the bright late January morning a contrast to the sense of dread growing by the minute in his office.

"Mr. Hanssen?" He finds he can't place the voice, looking down at the phone he sees that it is also a call from Darwin. He has to force himself to listen and not speculate about the contents of the call.

"It's Oliver Valentine." 'Ah, one mystery solved' he thinks. "From Darwin."

"Facts I am well aware, Dr. Valentine." He isn't as annoyed as he makes himself sound, he allows himself a brief smirk, imagining the young doctor's reaction and his answering stutter confirms it. No, he isn't annoyed, he has Sahira to thank for his new relaxed state. Sahira. Hanssen forces his focus back to the call.

"Err, yes, well." Ok, maybe he is annoyed now. "The ambulance has returned, Ms. Naylor asked me to call, she already in theater, waiting for Sah... Ms. Shah. I don't know where Mr. Douglas is, I haven't seen him yet."

Hanssen tersely ends the call before he can let any emotion slip, it's Sahira then who has been hurt; hurt seriously enough to need surgery and suddenly he is afraid. He's never been in this situation before, has never been the anxious partner, helpless. He doesn't like it one bit. Hanssen stops suddenly - he hadn't realised that he'd been pacing - his mind replaying Dr. Valentine's words 'I don't know where Mr. Douglas is, I haven't seen him'.

His eyes narrowed, his expression undeniably furious, Hanssen storms over to the office door and out into the corridor, slamming the door shut behind him he stalks off in search of Mr. Douglas muttering that "if anything happens to her," he fails to hear his phone ringing, too caught up in his anger.

**Let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes: I made a bit of a cock up in the last chapter, in my haste to post a second chapter after such a drought so... I'm going to try and introduce it in this update so if any bits read a bit oddly, squint and blink a lot, it'll pass soon enough.**

**Hope you all enjoy it as usual. Thank you all for your feedback on the story so far, it's much appreciated :-)**

Chapter 5

"I don't know where Mr. Douglas is, I haven't seen him."

His eyes narrowed, his expression undeniably furious, Hanssen storms over to the office door and out into the corridor, slamming the door shut behind him as he stalks off in search of Mr. Douglas, muttering that "if anything happens to her," he fails to hear his phone ringing, too caught up in his anger.

He gets as far as the lifts, waiting impatiently for them to respond to his repeated summoning of them. Not expecting anyone to be exiting the lift when it finally arrives after a painfully long time, or so it feels, Hanssen almost walks into the person leaving the lift. Swerving to the side to avoid hitting the man, he fails to register initially that he's being spoken to and he continues on into the lift.

"Henrik?" The second or third time that he hears his name he jerks back around to face whoever it is, ready to snap a reply and continue on his way to eviscerate Mr. Douglas. His face doesn't betray the flurry of emotions he feels at recognising the man in front of him and he's thankful that he's had years to hide behind his mask.

"Sir Frasier." He tries to make his greeting sound polite but Hanssen couldn't care less at the moment if he succeeded – he has more pressing engagements. The man tilts his head to the side a little and Hanssen swallows, feeling the unwelcome scrutiny and he wills his face to remain impassive.

"I'm a little early but then again, I'm a busy man." Hanssen allows himself a small frown, he couldn't care less about the man's workload or anything about him in fact and goes to nod and turn away once more. "So we'll have our meeting now." Any trace of warmth in the other man's voice has gone and Hanssen freezes, momentarily indecisive.

"Sir Frasier..." He can't meet the man now, he needs to find out about Sahira's condition and find Mr. Douglas, he steadies himself to explain the day's events with as much brevity and emotional disinterest as he can manage.

"Don't even think about it, Henrik. I'm sure your beloved Ms. Shah can survive without you holding her hand for an hour." Emotionally, Hanssen recoils from the words and he has a horrible feeling that he might have flinched. He desperately wants to shake some sense into the man and shout that his beloved Ms. Shah may not survive the next hour, dying on Jac Naylor's operating table whilst he is stood here having an utterly unnecessary pissing contest floors away.

"You yourself said that you are a busy man, this meeting can wait in favour of your more pressing engagements. My presence is currently required elsewhere."

"We will have our meeting now, Henrik and that's final." Hanssen takes two deep breaths before capitulating, he should be able to get rid of Sir Fraiser in fifteen minutes and pray to whatever God is listening that Jac Naylor is as good as she thinks she is. After all, it's more than just Sahira's life in her hands.

"How about a cup of tea, we're going to be here a while after all." Hanssen makes no move to comply with the man's request, made the second they enter the office, choosing instead to cross the room and sit himself at his desk. For the moment, his anger at Mr. Douglas has gone, replaced by frustration at his boss, masks and walls in place, he looks up and dryly responds.

"Unfortunately I'm all out – there have been some necessary cuts recently in light of the current economic climate." Hanssen knows that his next few meetings with the man in front of him are going to be awful as he seeks to pay him back for his apparent insubordination but as long as he can get him out of his office as soon as possible and then make his way to Sahira he'll gladly suffer the man's idiocy in the future.

"As you can no doubt see, the projections for the next month..." Hanssen has been pushing his luck with his comments which are bordering on insulting his boss who in return is insistent in dragging out this meeting. He can clearly see Hanssen's desire to be elsewhere but makes no move to allow his escape. The phone on Hanssen's desk rings, cutting Hanssen off mid-sentence as he looks at the item in question

"Leave it." His gaze snaps up to meet Sir Frasier's, stunned by his command. He repeats it as Hanssen opens his mouth to argue that he can't possibly ignore it. The two men stare at one another with similar expressions and the phone silences itself.

"Continue," the expression is smug on Sir Frasier's face and Hanssen pauses, measuring the time with his heartbeat, allowing half a dozen beats to calm himself before grudgingly continuing where he left off. He rattles through the next set of figures, thinking that this is pointless, the man could read this information himself if he was truly interested.

The phone rings again and Hanssen is about to answer it but to his astonishment Sir Frasier beats him to it.

"Henrik Hanssen's office. No. This is Sir Frasier Anderson, his boss. He's busy." Hanssen winces at the man's tone and hopes that it isn't a nurse on the receiving end. "Find someone else." He then stares almost incredulously at the man's attitude as he hangs up with a flourish.

"With all due respect, Sir Frasier," 'and that's absolutely none' he thinks. "If I am needed in theatre..." He both hopes it is and it isn't Darwin.

"It's irrelevant. We are busy men. Once we're done here you can charge off and play the hero. Not that anyone else except possibly Ms. Shah would appreciate your knight in armour routine." He hasn't a clue what expression he has at the moment but judging by it, Sir Frasier realises he's overstepped the mark.

"I think we're done here." Hanssen stands, looming over his desk and the other man, using every inch of his height to intimidate him. "There's nothing further to talk about that you can't read yourself. If you find yourself incapable of understanding something, email me and I shall explain in terms that you may understand." Hanssen notes that the man looks furious at his words, 'good' he thinks with a stab of pettiness.

"Now, my presence was needed in theatre," he pauses exaggeratedly to look at his watch. "Forty minutes ago, let us hope for all our sakes that _my_ delaydoes not prove fatal for a patient. Good day, Sir Frasier, I trust you can see yourself out." with mocking flourish, similar to the one displayed by Sir Frasier earlier, Hanssen sweeps out of the room.

He makes his way down the stairs, needing to burn off some of the pent up frustration before he accidentally makes someone cry with an unfeeling remark or just loses his composure. Reaching the level of AAU in the older part of the hospital he strides through the ward, checking to see if Mr. Douglas has made an appearance. Both AAU and Darwin turn out negative for the Irishman and Hanssen is ready to try one more ward before heading to the theatre himself. There's no update available from Darwin except for Jac and Sahira still being in theatre and Hanssen tells himself that 'no news is good news'.

Hanssen doesn't register the slightly pained expression on Dr. Valentine's face as being anything other than lingering embarrassment from the earlier phone call when he asks for Mr. Douglas. He certainly doesn't see the relief on the younger Doctor's face as he stalks his way silently to Keller.

"Hey, Mr. H." He nearly walks into Mr. Malick who appears in front of him almost as soon as he reaches the desk. "We tried to ring you just now. Are you ready?"

"I was _busy_," mutters Hanssen with his distaste still obvious at the actions of Sir Frasier.

"And ready for what?" He says sharply, suddenly realising the final part of Malick's talking required an answer, visibly impatient at not being able to find Mr. Douglas and having no information on Sahira.

"We've got an appendectomy in a few minutes, a Mr. Collins..." Malick offers a file to the Director of Surgery but Hanssen doesn't even look at it.

"I don't remember this patient being on my list..." In fact, he knows that he only had the one surgery today and that was this morning. He can't have surgery now, he needs to find Greg Douglas and maim him for whatever irresponsible and idiotic stunt and no doubt a desperate attempt at playing the hero to impress Sahira that he pulled which has landed Sahira in the operating theatre herself. Sahira! He'd almost forgotten about her in his anger at Mr. Douglas, he needs to be there but his inner monologue is interrupted by Malick sounding apologetic.

"Err, yes ,well. It wasn't originally but Mr. Griffin has been called away into something else. Nurse Lane rang you and here you are..." Malick frowns and tries to find Nurse Lane to ask her what happened.

"I take it that you didn't know?" Hanssen ignores the look, his mind racing, he can't not do this surgery but he desperately needs to know what's happening with Sahira. Turning back to Malick, he responds.

"Obviously not. I need to return to my office, I will meet you in ten minutes in theatre..." he trails off, not knowing the answer.

"One," Malick supplies instantly, "in ten minutes then, Mr. H." Hanssen nods and walks briskly off the ward, not noticing Malick's term of address for him. He almost runs up the stairs to his office. He is thankful that Sir Frasier has left his office, it's never pleasant speaking to or being interrogated by the man and Hanssen is in no mood to explain why he is getting changed in his office and not with the other staff.

He calls Darwin as he changes into his scrubs contemplating that he has never changed into scrubs in the same room as anyone else, not wanting anyone to see what happened to him, thankfully nobody has ever questioned his practice. The call connects and a theatre assistant relays his query into the room, Hanssen can hear Jac's biting retort quite clearly and in other circumstances would likely be amused by the theatre assistant's censored reply.

"Mr. Hanssen, there is a lot of blood lost, Ms. Naylor is currently trying to remove the pole which is piercing the female patient's thoracic cavity, the glass has been removed but it's still touch and go. The male patient has been stabilised but is in a critical condition."

"I'll be in Keller 1, please update me there." Hanssen hangs up, feeling sick. The body his ran his hands and mouth over only a few hours ago, that he's slept next to nearly every night for the previous few months is lying on Jac Naylor's operating table impaled with some kind of pole; he almost wishes he hadn't asked, he isn't totally sure how he'll maintain his concentration on the upcoming appendectomy.

As he reaches the theatre attached to Keller, Mr. Malick's perpetual enthusiasm provides Hanssen with an answer, he is content to allow the registrar to lead. It's the least worst solution available he grudgingly admits. The operation proceeds smoothly enough – it isn't complex in the grand scheme of things after all – if a lot slower than Hanssen would like. He keeps looking at the clock trying not to work out how long it has been since Sahira left on the call out and how long she's been in theatre. Every few minutes he glances at the phone in the theatre, simultaneously praying and dreading an update from Darwin.

Hanssen forces his concentration back to the operation in front of him, almost completed and he has to admit that they have made good time and at any other time he would be impressed by the younger man's work but he's too anxious right now. Malick hands over control to Hanssen to close up.

As he is closing up, he almost misses a stitch when the phone rings and he jumps. Trying to ignore any ambient sounds he mechanically forces himself to finish the row of stitches. He can hear the theatre assistant's muttered thanks before hanging up. Hanssen can feel her eyes on him but continues to ignore everyone else and stitch, his heart racing and his hands shaking the smallest amount.

Finally finished, he looks up at Malick and commends him on a good job, he can almost see the man's ego inflate a little more but it can't be helped – it was a good job and he needs to maintain some semblance of his role despite wanting to be anything but in control. 'How did a day which started off so, so pleasantly descend into this kind of madness?' Taking a deep breath he pulls away from the table and heads towards the theatre assistant, raising an eyebrow questioningly who gulps nervously.

"That was Darwin, sir. They were unable to save their female patient. I'm sorry."

It was the middle of the morning on Darwin ward and apart from a routine surgery this morning with Jac, Sahira's day has gone pretty well so far. In fact she was still stupidly happy from the way that Henrik had woken her up this morning. Even Jac didn't have much to say in theatre and the procedure went smoothly, hoping that finally the ice between the two is beginning to thaw. Sahira doubts they'll ever be good friends but amiable colleagues seemed like a long way off several months ago, she'll take what she can get.

Sahira used the time without anything chaotic happening to reflect upon the changes in her life recently. The changes since bonfire night. Although it was only the middle of January, the night in November when she kissed Henrik in the on-call room seemed like years ago, another lifetime. She supposes that for both of them, it was.

After she'd reappeared from theatre with Jac, she had seen that Henrik had made his way down from wherever he'd spent his morning after his breakfast meeting onto the ward and Sahira watched him towering over everyone with a small smile. He was wearing one of his navy blue suits with a couple of files clasped under his arm as he observed Elliot talk with him and a patient.

She keeps glancing over towards him, they have quickly fallen into a routine with which they both become comfortable with for work and home. They were able to move on past their rocky Boxing Day and move from strength to strength.

'In fact' thinks Sahira, 'the only issue at the moment involves Rafi and his delaying tactics on the divorce'. She sighs. About a week ago, they'd had a reminder on the subject; Rafi had turned up at the house unannounced and demanded to see Indy and reminded her of his desire to obtain custody of their son. A brief but tense visit followed and both Sahira and Rafi could see that Indy wasn't keen on being near Rafi. Sahira was thankful that Henrik had the presence of mind to wait in the car and ring her to see what she wanted him to do when he arrived a few minutes after Rafi, having recognised his car parked outside the house, instead of charging in like she would almost certainly have done.

She found that Henrik didn't come down to Darwin as obviously as he might have before but when he did come down he was noticeably more relaxed much to the relief of the staff. Elliott had asked her about possible causes for the Swede's new approach and Sahira with wide-eyed innocence which wouldn't have fooled Indy suggested that she should ask Henrik himself as part of his mission to befriend the man. He seemed strangely satisfied by that answer and wandered off to Sahira's amusement and even Hanssen smiled when she told him about it that evening and she could see that he was plotting, his eyes lit up with mischief that she hasn't seen for far too long.

Jac's comments had taken on a life of their own but Sahira couldn't bring herself to be wound up by them, especially considering how accurate a couple of them were. She found much to her satisfaction that Sahira's new policy of only denying a few of Jac's statements every so often frustrated the other woman to no end. Sahira doubted that Hanssen would approve of her methods so neglected to mention them to him when they spoke of work to one another.

Her musing was interrupted when the CTU phone rang and Sahira, being nearest to it, answered. It took a couple of seconds for her to realise that they were needed elsewhere rather than to accept an incoming patient. There wasn't much information available but emergency services were arriving on the scene and an ambulance was being readied. She turned to relay the information to Jac and Greg at the desk next to her and before she could finish, Greg had volunteered himself to work with her.

Sahira thought she had seen Hanssen leave the ward just before the call came in but she wasn't sure and she looked around her as she and Greg walked out in their green jumpsuits. She saw him standing stiffly off to one side glaring at Greg until he realised she was looking at him. His gentle nod reassured her and she strode out of the ward full of confidence.

The two CTU doctors arrived at the scene after what felt like forever to Sahira. They hadn't been given much information about the situation, the RTA they were heading into except that it was on the near side of the dual carriageway which runs along the edge of Holby. When they got to the scene of the accident, it became clear why there wasn't an update or more information on the patient – they were tangled in the remains of a 4x4 which in turn was partially buried under a lorry which had been carrying scaffolding and cannisters of some kind. Neither Greg or Sahira can see the driver or see if there is anyone else in the car with them but they can both hear the cries of at least one person.

The firemen won't let them go any closer than thirty feet to the wreckage. The smell of petrol is unmistakable and it's not clear where it is coming from or possible results from what it might come into contact with. The driver of the lorry is sat in the back of the paramedic's car, shocked but unharmed and talking to police. There are some scaffolding poles which are hanging precariously over the 4x4 and the firemen can't or won't remove them until they know the risks of the petrol leak.

Sahira and Greg both survey the scene before meeting each other's eye and a man in the green paramedic uniform comes running over to meet them and explains what is already quite clear – too long with Henrik thinks Sahira with a small smile to herself, he's rubbing off on her. Things are going well for them, she knows that she is happier than she's been in a long time and she knows that Henrik is too, not that she's likely to hear him admit that out loud.

With a blink she pushes thoughts of Henrik from her mind and returns her focus to the job in front of them – this is clear to Sahira. They're doctors, they're here to save this person or people's life who, without immediate medical attention is almost certainly going to die in the next few minutes. It would be a miracle if they haven't already died and because the chief fireman doesn't want to risk his staff.

Sahira decides that she isn't going to sit around and hide behind excuses, she's head of the CTU department and needs to lead from the front, without any hesitation she picks up the CTU medical bag and pushes past the firemen, over to the tangled remains of the black 4x4, ducking under the ominously creaking poles to reach her patient.

It takes her about twenty seconds to navigate her way through the twisted and burned metal, crawling under some of the scaffolding poles and equipment to reach the person and when she does make it, it's a relief; at one point she'd caught the edge of the bag behind her on something and it felt like the whole structure had shifted. Only when she reaches the car does she exhale in relief and look back – the firemen have Greg in a hold and they've retreated back a little further, she can hear their shouts and Greg cursing her but she has a job to do. She can hear their shouts and Greg cursing her in his distinctive accent but she can't not treat this patient.

"Oh God." Surveying the remains of the 4x4 on its side, Sahira can see there are two people in the wreckage, one of them, a dark haired lady in the passenger seat has some kind of a metal splinter embedded in her chest, a wet blood-like dark stain around the wound spread into her clothing. The blood has dripped down onto the driver below her. It takes Sahira a few moments to get her stomach back under control and the nausea to recede and she reaches through the space where the windscreen would have been and feels for a pulse on the now silent driver.

"Thank God," she whispers to herself, it's there and almost to confirm he's alive, the man, unrecognisable covered in his passenger's blood and burned groans. Performing a cursory examination of the man, Sahira concludes that he is stable enough and the priority is clearly the female.

"Sahira!" She hears Greg's voice, louder than it has been and turns to look in his direction when a loud creaking sound precedes and awful metal-on-metal scraping sound and Sahira looks up, for the first time realising the danger of the situation she'd been foolish enough to charge into. She briefly thinks that Henrik would have kittens if he knew. The realisation hits her at the same time that a couple of things, she doesn't know what, dislodge themselves from somewhere above her and fall to the ground and shatter into splinters with an almighty noise.

Heart rate through the roof, with trembling fingers she fills a second syringe for them, her voice sounding shaky but she doesn't care, she calls out, "We've got to get them out of here, they won't survive if we don't move them – I need someone to help me!" She is aware of Greg arguing with the fireman and the next thing she knows, Greg is with her and she's never been so relieved to have him here with her.

"You know... Hanssen's going to kill you." Oh Sahira knows he will, she doesn't want to think about that now. She wishes idly that somehow the Swede won't find out about today's events but thinks that quite unlikely – he seems to know everything.

"Not now, Greg. Help me move her." After a nerve-wracking minute, the two doctors manage to remove the woman from the remains of the car without dislodging the shard and Greg takes her torso and they very slowly move, inch by inch towards the waiting arms of the firemen who have approached the wreckage to load her onto a gurney and take her to the ambulance. She shivers as soon as the woman is in the care of the paramedic, working to stabilise her.

"That was idiotic!" The fireman that she had butted heads with earlier has a strong grip on her upper arm and is shaking her.

"I appreciate if you don't want to risk your men. I'm a doctor, I accept the risks and this is an informed decision, now get out of my way – there's a man still trapped in that wreckage." The fireman grudgingly relinquishes his hold on her and she dives back towards the cars, the smell of petrol growing stronger as she gets closer, making her sick.

She reaches the car once more, adrenaline coursing through her veins and she is relieved to see that the driver is conscious again and with no obvious injuries, his removal from the wreckage appears to be much more straight forward.

"My name is Dr. Shah, we're going to get you out of here as soon as we can and get you to Holby General and get you checked out, alright. Everything is going to be ok."

"Sahira." The voice is weak but she recognises the syllables of her name.

"Yes?" Only when she has answered does she realise that she didn't tell him her first name, only introduced herself as Dr. Shah. "How do you know my name?"

The man mumbles something unintelligible. Sahira frowns and wipes some of the blood off his face, her fingers recognising the face that she is tracing. She gasps in surprise and nearly falls back as the face of her ex-husband is partially revealed to her.

"Rafi?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: I didn't mean to quite make it this angsty but c'est la vie (or not, for the 'female patient'). I'm also amused by some messages which believe me to be too nice to kill of Sahira, so thanks for that :-) **

**I don't know if tissues will be needed, I was obviously channelling my inner Jac Naylor when re-reading this and was utterly unaffected. Hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think. Think that's about it.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

_"That was Darwin, sir. They were unable to save their female patient. I'm sorry."_

Hanssen's world stops turning and slams to a halt; he hopes that no-one noticed his slight stumble in response to the news. He instantly retreats as far as he can, back behind the myriad layers which create his Mr. Hanssen persona. Appearing absent-minded he nods his understanding and thanks the theatre assistant and leaves the room, discarding his gown and gloves with a vicious efficiency. He isn't paying attention to whatever Mr. Malick is saying, he feels numb and wants to be sick. His mind is racing and it's unable to hold onto any thoughts, except...

'No. Sahira can't be dead.'

"And do you think that Mr. Griffin would allow..." Hanssen needs to get away, he can't stay here, he needs to leave before he is sick.

"I'm sure he would. If you'll excuse me." He almost runs from the room and he heads to the stairs. Despite feeling as if he can barely draw breath, Hanssen makes his way up the flight of stairs, safe in the knowledge that the majority of people will be using the lifts and will therefore not see him. As he climbs higher, his feeling of nausea increases and pausing as he reaches the fifth floor landing, he places his forehead on the glass, hoping that the cool pane will soothe him as he closes his eyes but all he can see are images of Sahira.

He somehow makes it to his office without anyone seeing him or wanting to speak to him, not that Hanssen is certain of that; if there was someone, they didn't register on his awareness. Mechanically changing out of his scrubs and back into his suit. He finds his hands are shaking so much that it takes him longer to do up the buttons on his shirt than it should and it's hard to tie his tie again.

He sits down heavily in his chair and his momentum causes it to spin a little. Having taken off his glasses when he was changing, Hanssen hasn't put them back on yet and he pinches the bridge of his nose hard, refusing to allow himself to cry.

"_Unable to save their female patient_."

Those half a dozen words, harmless on their own are responsible for the end of his world. They keep repeating themselves in his head and Hanssen wants to get away from everyone and everything in this hospital except for Sahira.

Sahira.

He's been a fool. Taking a deep breath to try and calm himself, he needs to start acting like a Director of Surgery and not like a teenager. He calms a little, creating a mental list of evidence supporting the theory that Sahira is fine and evidence against the theory, only to realise that all of the evidence he has suggests that Sahira is not fine. He needs to see for himself, to see what happened to her, to see what exactly he is more than likely going to kill Mr. Douglas for.

He makes his way back down towards the Keller theatres, leaving his office much more in control than he was earlier. Suddenly realising that he's heading to the wrong ward he abruptly stops and turning around, Hanssen barely notices as a nurse walks into him, waving away her apology and offering his own before striding off towards Darwin ward and its theatres.

"_Unable to save their female patient_."

The air seems to grow thicker as he draws closer to the operating theatres and he stalks through the doors and looks through the viewing window of Theatre One to see it in full swing, with what is almost certainly Mr. Hope leading the ongoing operation. Hanssen watches, unseen for a few minutes, needing to reassure himself that it isn't Sahira and when Elliott moves to retrieve some equipment from a scrub nurse, he can see that this patient has short grey hair. Hanssen isn't sure whether it's a good thing or not.

"_Unable to save their female patient_."

Hanssen almost stumbles as he whirls away from the window and makes his way through the next set of doors to the second theatre and its viewing area only to find it empty.

Suddenly at a lost of what to do, he leans one arm against the top part of the window frame, Hanssen stares almost uncomprehendingly at the blank table and less illuminated room in front of him, hanging his head as he considers his next move. A flash of red hair grabs his attention and a relatively recent memory floats to the forefront of his mind "_and that is precisely why we mustn't - it'd be like staring into the abyss_."

The next thing that Hanssen is aware of is that Jac Naylor is standing next to him, regarding him with a thoughtful expression and keeps uncharacteristically quiet. "Ms. Naylor." His voice cracks a little as he greets her and she doesn't reply, instead continuing to observe him too much for his liking and he attempts to hide his discomfort from her.

"_Unable to save their female patient_." He doesn't blame her - the blame is Mr. Douglas'.  
"Where is... Ms. Shah?" he can't quite finish his sentence at first and gestures casually towards the Theatre, thankfully Jac seems to understand.

Jac watches the unusually tall and usually eloquent man in front of her as she comes out of the Theatre. He'd caught her attention a few seconds ago, she wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there but Jac was surprised to see all manner of emotions flit across his face, resignation, an odd vulnerability and if she didn't know better, she'd say, grief. Obviously the woman meant more to Hanssen than anyone knew, possibly even more than Sahira knew.

She makes her way from the back of the theatre and she sees his head snap round to follow her progress as she exits the theatre. By the time she reaches him by the viewing window he is composed and she is impressed with the control he has; his face is placid and the glare of the overhead lights off his glasses mean that she can't see his eyes. If she hadn't have seen with her own eyes his expression a few moments ago, she'd never have known.

"Ms. Naylor." He greets her and she catches a slight cracking of his voice but doesn't draw any attention to it. She continues to observe him, outwardly dispassionately but the man is struggling, she can only see it because she knows what to look for and suddenly she feels protective of him, surprising herself and she raises her eyebrows involuntarily at the revelation.

"Where is..." He waves his hand weakly in the direction of the theatre. "Sahira?" Ah.

"She's gone to the morgue." Jac answers quietly but clearly, and it's a measure of how shaken the man in front of her is that he felt the need to ask.

"What happened?" Jac pauses before answering, wondering what answers to give and what details to _forget_ to mention. She debates with herself for a moment more before deciding that it won't do him any good in the short term, Hanssen, like her would best be served by knowing more rather than few of the details, not that they have many about the cause of her injuries.

"Hard to say for certain, although if memory serves, Sahira said the call out was an RTA out on the dual carriageway." There's a small reaction from the man at her name, Jac's not surprised, if their positions were reversed, she'd be furious with Sahira too. She continues, now aware of Hanssen's attachment to the recently dead lady 'and the plot thickens' she thinks.

"There was a fair amount of metal and glass embedded in the upper body as well as burned hair and skin. Possibly the result of an explosion, a petrol spill perhaps?" She's watching Hanssen's face closely as she explains the injuries and she is mildly impressed by his façade, other than a slight narrowing of his eyes and a flare of his nose, there's nothing to suggest that someone he was obviously close to has just died on her operating table.

"Maybe," she begins again, gently. "Maybe you should disappear for a bit, go and pay your respects and then go home early today?" She doesn't get a response to her words and Jac isn't certain whether he heard her, without thinking, she reaches out a hand and rests it lightly, just above his elbow.

"I'm sorry." He just looks at her hand on his elbow, meeting her eyes for a moment before pulling his arm away and turning smartly, he walks away through the double doors, back towards the hospital. Jac watches him go, aware that her previous thoughts about the man have been blown altered and her curiosity piqued.

After leaving Ms. Naylor in the corridor outside the Darwin Theatre, Hanssen wanders around Darwin ward for a few minutes, outwardly inspecting the ward but in reality he's not aware of his surroundings. Sitting himself down at a computer at the nurses' station for a minute he knows that it is almost beyond doubt that she's gone. Jac herself confirmed that Sahira had "_gone to the morgue_."

All that remains is seeing her body for himself and he's not certain that he wants to do that. He wants to remember her the way she was this morning and every other morning they've woken up together, he has no inclination to taint her memory with images of her broken and bleeding body.

"Dr. Valentine." He greets the younger doctor politely as he stands and leaves Darwin ward, ready to head back towards the sanctuary of his office, once more. As he again climbs the stairs, he considers Ms. Naylor's suggestion of disappearing early today, perhaps he will. It has merit - he is no use to anyone like this, his paperwork will be there when he returns tomorrow and he has no more electives until Friday.

For what seems like the umpteenth time since his tenure as Director of Surgery began, Hanssen pauses on the fifth floor landing, staring out over the view of the busy hospital sprawled out in front of him and the tranquillity of the woods beyond.

He loses his battle with his nausea as his train of thought progresses to Sahira's son; Hanssen hasn't eaten anything so far today, none of the options at this morning's breakfast meeting were appetising. The meeting itself seems like a lifetime ago and he retches nothing but a mouthful of bile and he deals quickly with it, using his handkerchief and wiping his mouth before pocketing it.

Indy – the boy without a mother, not yet four. Hanssen was nine when his mother died and there are days when the memory seems fader than before. Indy probably won't remember Sahira in a few years, if not months and it's that thought which results in a single tear rolling down his face and he makes no attempt to wipe it away immediately.

He came in separately from Sahira this morning and he assumes that she left Indy in the crèche and Hanssen heads there to take the boy home with him, leaving his paperwork and reports behind and only retrieving his coat.

Hanssen knows that Indy can tell that something isn't right but he is relieved that he hasn't asked about his mother yet. He can't put it into words and finds himself unable to admit to himself that she is gone, just like his own mother. Later, when Hanssen thinks back to this journey home from the hospital he won't be able to consciously recall any of it except for the decision to go to his own house rather than have the both of the surrounded by constant and painful reminders of Sahira.

They pull up outside Hanssen's house and he unconsciously compares it to Sahira's home and finds it wanting. Hanssen finds, as he unbuckles Indy from his car seat that he can't remember the last time he slept here. As a result he doesn't have a clue what kind of food he has available to offer Indy but he manages to scrape together a dinner which Indy practically inhales in mere minutes to his relief. Hanssen himself eats nothing, the thought of how he has to break the news to Indy making him feel sick, he's expending near enough all of his control on not giving into the grief that wants to suffocate him and he doesn't want to add to the problem.

Nothing bothering to clear away after the meal, he resignedly follows Indy into his living room. They curl up on the sofa, Indy in Hanssen's lap, covered in a blanket, his attention on the film that's on the TV and Hanssen just watches him as his focus wanders. Not paying the remotest bit of attention to it, his thoughts naturally turn to Sahira again.

"Sleep, Daddy?" Is the quiet question as the film finishes and Hanssen is less certain than ever before of what to make of Indy's name for him but he really doesn't want to correct him any more

"Ja," he responds, having unknowingly reverted back to Swedish before catching himself and letting the boy run up the stairs ahead of him while he locks the house up for the night before heading upstairs too. After the bedtime routines are completed and Indy is bundled up in the duvet, Hanssen removes his tie and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt before getting into the bed next to Indy, gathering him into his arms. He watches the boy grow sleepy as he recites one of his favourite stories about lions and bears that he remembers his own mother telling him.

He hasn't got a clue what is going to happen to them all in the future; Hanssen is no expert on parenting and he isn't sure whether he could, on his own, look after the boy the way he deserves. It may be an irrelevant point anyway, Rafi is almost certain to get custody of the boy regardless of what has happened before and Hanssen will never see him again. He doesn't want to allow that to happen, Indy is all he has left of Sahira. For tonight at least, Indy is in his care and Hanssen will keep him safe, the way he wasn't able to keep his mother safe.

The alarm shrieks, startling Hanssen out of his unseeing gaze at his bedroom ceiling. He stiffly moves to silence the clock. He couldn't sleep, wouldn't sleep and he feels and no doubt looks like he hasn't slept too. All evening and throughout the night he kept expecting Sahira to ring him, or text him, wondering where he and Indy are. He kept waiting for the bedroom door to open and Sahira to climb into bed with them, apologising for worrying him and promising to make it up to him.

Nothing.

As the first light began to creep into the bedroom, through the curtains, Hanssen felt the last of his hope die. If she was coming back to them, she would have come back to them by now. He'd clung to the hope that the hospital was a large place and a mix up may have happened but it is now the next day and painfully clear that they are on their own.

Slumping back onto the pillow he feels cold, 'over-tired probably', he tells himself, not caring. He doesn't have the luxury of being able to take the day off, even if he did, it's probably best that he goes to work, he needs to keep himself busy or he'll lose any control he has left. If that happens he's likely to end up a wreck and that isn't what Indy needs and Indy's needs are more important than his own at the moment.

Hanssen turns onto his side and looks at the small boy curled up in his duvet through bloodshot eyes; unaware of the Swede's scrutiny, Indy sleeps on. Face impassive, Hanssen continues to scrutinise his bedmate, considering how their relationship has developed to its current unfortunate state. He considers how Indy has challenged and redefined Hanssen's life until he has become a parent to the boy and he wouldn't have it any other way.

At first he resisted the boy's affections, telling himself that it was an attempt by Indy's mind at replacing Rafi which Hanssen didn't want, not least because he is his own man and knowing what he does about Sahira and Rafi's marriage, he didn't want Indy to have that association with Hanssen.  
He tried to hang onto that reason as time went by and his and Sahira's relationship developed but he can now accept that he was unable to and he suspects that Sahira knew; he might have been her mentor but he's found himself learning more from her recently.

It took him sixteen years to believe that Sahira loved him and even recently there have been days when he has questioned and not believed what he knows: that Sahira loved him. His father's legacy. Hanssen couldn't put it into words, his feelings about Indy finding him worthy of such a role as his father. Then again, the boy probably wouldn't consider Hanssen a risk he decides ruefully. Hanssen has always been calmer in temperament than Rafi, that probably helped.

Scrunching his eyes shut against tears which are threatening to fall again, Hanssen's thoughts have moved away from Indy and Rafi to Sahira. He isn't as numb this morning, quite the opposite and he doesn't want Indy to see him cry.

Taking a last look at the still sleeping boy, Hanssen leaves the room with a change of clothes and heads towards the bathroom. Cold and shivering slightly, he peels off yesterday's wrinkled shirt and suit trousers that he slept in, or rather, that he lay in bed in all night. He discards them on the bathroom floor with the rest of his clothing, past caring about tidiness and winces a little as he steps under the stinging hot spray of the shower.

He rests his head against the cool tile wall of the shower and his breath catches as the waster washes over him. He misses her unbearably. It's only been hours, not even a day and he feels like he can't cope with this acute agony. There is no way that he can do the next sixteen years without her, let alone the rest of his life.

For the third time in his life, Hanssen considers ending it. He tries to stare at his wrists, imagining the dull ache of the cuts in comparison to how he feels now but his eyes won't focus as the tears begin to fall again, clouding his vision and temporarily washing away his over-tired mask.

His expression forms an absurd parody of a grin as his face contorts as he finally cries for Sahira. He's still mindful of Indy and is careful to be as quiet as he can, the sobs which do escape are muffled by the sound of the running water of the shower.

After some length of time, the shower begins to turn cold and Hanssen shuts off the water before drying and dressing himself with hands which won't stop shaking though not as noticeably as yesterday. His razor is at Sahira's house and he can't shave; he knows he's fighting a lost cause, if his red, bloodshot eyes don't give away his grief, his stubble will. And it is grief, the feeling so thick and heavy on his chest that he can barely draw breath.

All too resigned for replacing one purgatory with another, Hanssen wakes and dresses Indy and within fifteen minutes the boy has eaten breakfast and they're on their way to the hospital again.

Usually babbling at any time of the day, the boy's silence is telling and Hanssen knows he should have said something to the boy last night but couldn't bring himself to. As they approach the crèche, Indy becomes clingy and doesn't want Hanssen to leave. He hugs the small boy to him, reassuring him that he will be back soon, stopping short of promising him before turning around and leaving. He ignores Indy's cries for him until he gets just into the corridor and feels a small but familiar body wrap itself around one of his legs.

Still too early for other people to be lurking, he heads to his office, Indy in tow, using the stairs again. He is still in danger of his emotions proving too much and the sooner he can retreat to the solitude and sanctuary of his office the better, the hospital grapevine would no doubt implode in excitement if the cold-hearted, aloof Swedish Director of Surgery was seen with a child in his arms, let alone if the man was seen crying in the hallways.

He makes it to his office without incident and is surprised to realise how dark it is inside. He doesn't remember drawing the blinds yesterday, not that he remembers much if he's honest but now Hanssen is thankful for the lack of ambient light and he sits Indy down on his chair.

He places his briefcase down on the table and turns to switch on a light.

There's a sound from the other end of the office which makes him jump and his voice rasps a huff of surprise as the hair stands up on the back of his neck. Hanssen checks to reassure himself that Indy is where he is meant to be and eyes adjusting to the gloom of his office, he can see a figure on the sofa who moves slightly and the coat they were using as a blanket falls off them onto the floor.

His eyes narrow as he recognises the coat. Greg Douglas' coat.

**Shameless plea for reviews now! Let me know what you think. The more you review, the less I'll torture HH, how does that sound to you all? Isn't he suffering enough on-screen at the moment?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to hanssenswaistcoat who has a big exam (or two) on Friday! Good luck!**

**As always the usual disclaimers apply.**

**Thank you all very much for the lovely feedback on the previous chapter, it was much appreciated and made my day! I did say that if I got some nice reviews that I'd stop torturing HH so much so here we are.**

**Oh, the story is progressing in my mind at the moment in such a way that things will probably get a bit worse before they get better, but they will get better; I obviously watched too much Disney or something when I was a sproglet and happy endings are a must.**

_There's a sound from the other end of the office which makes him jump and his voice rasps a huff of surprise as the hair stands up on the back of his neck. Hanssen checks to reassure himself that Indy is where he is meant to be and eyes adjusting to the gloom of his office, he can see a figure on the sofa who moves slightly and the coat they were using as a blanket falls off them onto the floor._

_His eyes narrow as he recognises the coat. Greg Douglas' coat._

Hanssen makes it around the desk and across his office in half a dozen angry strides. He stops and kicks the coat to the side with the toe of one shoe. Looking down a the coat he stares dispassionately at it before raising his gaze up to the figure sitting up in front of him, still half hidden by shadow. "Mr. Douglas," he growls, hands clenched at his side to stop himself from doing something he might regret later, "what the hell happened to her?"

_"Sahira." The voice is weak but she recognises the syllables of her name._

_"Yes?" Only when she has answered does she realise that she didn't tell him her first name, only introduced herself as Dr. Shah. "How do you know my name?"_

_The man mumbles something unintelligible. Sahira frowns and wipes some of the blood off his face, her fingers recognising the face that she is tracing. She gasps in surprise and nearly falls back as the face of her ex-husband is partially revealed to her._

_"Rafi?"_

Sahira stumbles slightly at the realisation that her second patient is none other than her husband and strong arms catch her to stop her falling. She recognises Greg's arms in his green jumpsuit wrapped around her to steady her and she is thankful he is there.

"Rafi?" Sahira meets Greg's confused look and she confirms what he thought he heard. He frowns for a moment, preparing to ask a second question which Sahira probably won't want to answer and she puts him off.

"Later, Greg. We need to get him out of here." Working to free Rafi is difficult, the way the 4x4 has rolled and landed has made it impossible to access the driver's door and an awkward combination of leaning in through what remains of the windscreen and the passenger's door is all they can manage to attempt to free Rafi.

The ambient smell of the leaking petrol and its fumes has become really strong and Sahira is now concerned at what could happen if it ignites before they are all a safe distance away, let alone still in the wreckage. Greg was right, if she survives, Henrik will kill her.

The sounds of one of the firemen shouting for one of them interrupted their work. Straining to listen, they realise that their female patient has crashed and the paramedic needs help. Greg sends Sahira back out to deal with the female patient and Rafi's mysterious passenger, promising to follow in a minute or so with Rafi.

As soon as she recognised Rafi, Sahira felt everything become a blur and she was grateful that her training kicked in and she made decisions and acted on autopilot because she doubts she is capable of rationally thinking about this situation. Making her way out of the wreckage, she catches her arm on a twisted piece of metal and she curses, trying to free her jumpsuit without tearing it but she gives up, her priority is their patient who has been loaded into the back of the CTU ambulance.

Reaching the ambulance at a run, Sahira takes over from the paramedic and begins barking orders who moves to assist the registrar gratefully. It takes eighty long seconds but she manages to resuscitate the woman, knowing that it will be a miracle if she lives to see theatre, let alone survives this ordeal.

"Greg, what would..." Sahira turns to ask Greg something about treating the patient and realises that he isn't with her, telling the paramedic to keep the woman stable for a minute until she's back, Sahira dives out of the back of the ambulance, looking for Greg's distinctive green jumpsuit.

She sees a couple of the firemen stood back further away from the wreckage than before and she runs over, the firemen, now wise to her attempt to charge in and help, restrain her before she can try.

She can see Greg passing Rafi's body over to two firemen who pull him clear and move away quickly. Sahira is relieved – her adrenaline levels have spiked and her heart is racing – as he begins to climb over the final pole in his way, he catches his jumpsuit on the same bit of metal that she did and slips.

The fireman holding her suddenly turns, putting his body between her and the wreckage and she doesn't see Greg escape from the metal before there is an almighty explosion as the petrol ignites and Sahira and the fireman are thrown to the ground as a wave of incredible heat passes over them and she cries out but the mass of the man covering her doesn't get up until he's satisfied that the flying metal and glass isn't going to cut them to ribbons.

After a couple of heartbeats, Sahira gets up as the dust settles and the scorching heat recedes, searching for Greg, waiting for a joke in his typically relaxed manner, underplaying the whole incident but it doesn't come. Greg's name dies in Sahira's throat as she sees the firemen pulling a body away from the flaming wreckage, she heads towards the one in the remains of a green jumpsuit and the paramedic takes the other, Rafi's which was pulled away to safety before the explosion.

It feels like forever until she finds Greg's pulse, it's a weak pulse but it's there. She looks for her bag but realises that it was left in the wreckage and is less than useful now. A shout from the ambulance grabs Sahira's attention, the woman has crashed again and they need to leave. Sahira knows that she has to make a decision, an awful decision.

"We need another ambulance." She shouts at whoever is standing near her, making her decision. "I've got to go. Don't let them die." She hates herself for making the choice and as she's running back to the ambulance and back to their mystery woman she wonders how people can make those kind of calls, how Henrik makes those kind of calls.

Keeping a close eye on the vital signs of the woman as the ambulance eats up the relatively short distance to the hospital, Sahira is distracted and jumps a little, startled, as the paramedic insists on treating her arm which, unbeknownst to her had been cut when she caught her arm as she was leaving the wreckage. She ignores the stinging feeling of the cut, it's not deep but it might need stitches when they get back to the hospital and she needs to get rid of this jumpsuit – it's making everything smell of petrol and combined with the motion of the ambulance is making her feel nauseous.

An alarm on one of the machines begins to sound and Sahira's attention is diverted away from Greg and Rafi by dealing with the patient. The driver calls through from the front and Sahira is glad that they have finally arrived. Jumping out of the ambulance and she realises that she's never been so glad to see Jac Naylor's face.

"Where's Greg?"

"There's no time, we need to get her into theatre now." Their eyes meet and Sahira knows she'll have to answer later but now is not the time and Jac nods, taking over control of the situation and leading the gurney into the hospital.

Taking a quick breath, Sahira follows them into the lift still on autopilot after quickly scanning the front of the hospital, hoping to see a second ambulance pull up without any luck.

They race the patient into theatre and Sahira scrubs in a few moments after Jac, after discarding her petrol-soaked jumpsuit for scrubs and an operating gown. She has no idea how long they've been in theatre, removing the glass and metal shards in near silence, the odd command and rhythmic beeping of the numerous machines hooked up to the patient providing the soundtrack to the operation.

"Your hubby is worried about you, you know." Jac's comment out of the blue startles Sahira and she almost drops a shard of glass, she shoots Jac a glare which is so reminiscent of their Director of Surgery that Jac laughs. Sahira's mind is racing: has Jac heard about Rafi and Greg?

"How do you know..." she begins, confused because Jac has been with Sahira since she arrived back at the hospital with their patient.

"Because he's been ringing down from on-high." Jac sounded a little put out but Sahira ignored her tone, almost relieved.

"Oh. I thought you meant..." She trails off as her concentration focusses back on the patient as she attempts to extricate a slither of glass. A cough from Jac when she's done gets Sahira's attention and she sees the other woman's raised eyebrows indicating that she should continue her explanation. Sahira sighs as she relinquishes the momentum and control back to Jac.

"The call out... this lady was one of two people involved... the other... the other was Rafi." Jac obviously wasn't expecting that answer and snapped her head up to look at Sahira who was studiously avoiding Jac's gaze. As she moved, her hand jerked and suddenly there was a bleed and alerts sounding, then, adding to the cacophony of noise, the theatre phone started to ring and a theatre assistant moves to answer.

"Shit." Jac curses, "pack it."

"I am not going to play nicely if that's your Swede." Jac says just loud enough for Sahira to hear when the theatre assistant confirms it is the Director of Surgery wanting an update.

"Fucking hell," Sahira ignores Jac as she starts ranting, trying to isolate the source of the bleed. Trying not to pay attention as Jac insults Henrik and sarcastically overstates the obvious; Sahira winces and hopes that Jac's voice hasn't carried to Hanssen but wisely keeps silent until the assistant has hung up and approaches the table looking at Sahira rather than Jac.

"Mr. Hanssen has been called away to Keller for a surgery. He wants any updates there." Sahira thanks the assistant as they disappear from Jac's line of sight quickly.

"Bully for him." Mutters Jac as the alerts stop and the patient stabilises, letting out a brief sigh of relief before asking, "is that all of the debris? Can we move to the splinter now?" They both look at the twisted remains of a scaffolding pole buried in the lady's ribs.

Before they can make a start, the phone rings again and Jac glares at the assistant who moves to answer it, listening to what's being said, hanging up and speaking to Sahira who informs Jac. "That was Darwin. AAU rang them. Mr. Douglas was admitted and is now in Radiology."

"An update about Greg, how thoughtful." Jac tilts her head and observes Sahira. "What would your hubby say? Either one of them, actually?"

"I don't think Rafi's capable of commenting; he's in Keller Two at the moment." Sahira hopes that Henrik isn't the one who's operating on him. Jac mutters an agreement.

"What happened to Greg anyway?" The question is asked so casually that Sahira almost answers before catching herself, trying to work out how to tell Jac about what happened. Haltingly she begins, describing the scene and situation as it unfolded from when they arrived. She can almost sense Jac's disapproval at Sahira's actions and now that she is removed from the situation, Sahira has to admit that it "was a stupid thing to do but responds that this lady would have certainly died whereas now she has a fighting chance at survival".

"I agree. I think it was the right call. Hanssen won't like it but there wasn't a viable alternative." Sahira is stunned but pleased at Jac's seemingly casual acceptance of Sahira's actions until she realises that she hasn't yet gotten to the latter stages of the event.

Whilst Sahira has been talking, they've been using the time to prepare themselves and their patient for the final task of removing the shard of metal. Sahira finishes her tale before they remove the huge splinter of metal and Jac looks at Sahira with a grudging respect. They begin to remove the splinter, pausing at regular intervals until they're certain that they won't slice anything open on their way out. All goes well until a few seconds after the pole is clear when the patient suddenly crashes. After several minutes of failed attempts at resuscitating the patient, Jac's eyes meet Sahira's as she stands down, defeated before her gaze flicks to the clock.

"Time of death..." Sahira looks back down at the woman lying in front of her as Jac calls the time of death, feeling like she's failed her. She always feels bad when they can't save a patient but this lady was known to Rafi, to someone she knows and it seems more personal.

"I suppose you should update hubby." Jac says, sounding disinterested and unconcerned but Sahira has known her long enough now to be confident that Jac does care about her patients – it's why her mortality statistics are one of the best in the department, if not the hospital. Sahira doesn't want to speak to Henrik yet, she's been running on adrenaline since she got to the RTA and she can feel an energy crash coming on.

"Would you do it? I'll go to the morgue with her." Sahira can see Jac frowning suspiciously at her, trying to work out what's going on, "please Jac, I'll get her sorted for you."

"Fine," Sahira relaxes a little when Jac concedes, "but whatever problem you and Hanssen are having, I don't want it on the ward." Sahira thanks her, not wanting to correct her, happy for Jac to think what she wants. With the help of a scrub nurse they tidy up the patient, making her as presentable as they can before transport. Jac is on the phone to Keller as they leave, back to her brusque self. Sahira is thankful for her support today and Jac nods at her as they leave.

As she is in the morgue, she feels her phone vibrate with an incoming message but Sahira ignores it, only offering the necessary details and not feeling inclined to talk as she normally would. She leaves, glad to be away from the place and heading back towards more familiar territory. On the way back to Darwin, Sahira's thoughts are occupied by the same topic as on her journey to the morgue: the lady.

Sahira realises they don't have an ID for her, she doesn't know the woman's name, let alone why she was travelling in a car with her husband when it crashed. Sahira is curious about her relationship to Rafi. Even if she was his new girlfriend, Sahira considers the possibility, she isn't bothered, not that she is in any position to complain, considering her relationship with Henrik. She dismisses that line of thought, deciding it was co-incidental and that woman isn't Rafi's 'type'.

Wondering if her message was from Henrik, she fishes out her phone and discovers that it is about him but the sender is Jac and Sahira stops to read it.

'Hubby was here looking for you. Trouble in paradise?'

Sahira sighs and doesn't reply, deciding to speak to Jac face to face and she changes direction, heading back towards the operating theatre she left around ten or fifteen minutes ago and finds Jac staring into the distance, obviously mulling over something.

"I got your message..."

"You just missed Hanssen," Sahira frowns, something has caught Jac's attention, she wouldn't usually pass up an opportunity to comment on her relationship with Henrik. "He was here, asking after you, he seemed..." Jac trails off, still looking thoughtful, Sahira knew there was a puzzle which was waiting for Jac to solve it but she didn't have time to stand around all day wondering what it was.

"Did he want to see me?" Sahira isn't sure if she wants the answer, now that she's asked the question.

"He didn't say that as such. I told him you'd gone to the morgue and then he went, thought he'd gone after you..."

"No sign of him." She feels guilty for the flash of thankfulness, not yet ready for that confrontation. They've not had to deal with a situation like this in their new relationship and Sahira doubts either of them will know how to behave

"That's probably a good thing considering the rumours about him being undead; the morgue isn't the best place for him to suddenly appear." Sahira smiles but it fades at Jac's next question. "What was his relationship to that woman?"

"Rafi's?" Sahira is surprised at the change in topic and it takes her a moment to answer.

"Hanssen's" Sahira is confused, Jac's tone suggests she isn't being sarcastic.

"I didn't know there was one." She really didn't, she's never seen this woman before in her life and now her husband, ex-husband, whatever he is and her partner know her, she can't help but feel suspicious.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say he was upset. Never seen him like that about a patient before." Sahira is grateful that Jac is preoccupied and there's no sarcasm in her words, she isn't sure that she would maintain her composure if there was. Nor does she notice Sahira's expression of hurt. "I wonder if they had something going on?"

"It would explain the request for an update on her. Excuse me." Sahira escapes from the theatre and decides to head to Keller to see if Greg is out of theatre. Jac's words floating around her head 'I wonder if they had something going on?' She's almost certain that there wasn't anything between Henrik and this mystery woman, he wouldn't do something like that, far too insecure and emotionally reliant on Sahira but she concedes that some things just aren't adding up.

She finds Greg with no difficulty and sits with him for a bit, holding his hand and talking softly to him, apologising for the whole mess. He got off lightly, a broken leg and a rather nasty concussion which is going to feel like he's woken up from a particularly heavy night out when he does finally wake up.

Sahira looks at Rafi's notes whilst she's there. The surgery that he's had will keep him off his feet for a while and she doesn't envy his recovery. About to put the folder back, Sahira frowns as something catches her attention. She opens the folder up once more to try and find the information as Mr. Malick approaches her on his rounds with a couple of folders under his arm and she asks him about her query, pointing to a bit.

"Oh his blood alcohol level was dangerously high when he was admitted. A good thing he was the passenger and not driving or else it'd be a wonder he survived. Not a fun operation from what Mr. G said." The information is like a blow and Sahira is thankful that Malick seems unaware of the relationship between herself and the man in the bed in front of them and she doesn't correct him about Rafi being the passenger. She suddenly wants to find Henrik, wants his comfort and calm understanding while she rants and raves about Rafi and she thanks Malick before heading up a level to the fifth floor and Henrik's office.

Sahira pauses outside his office doors just long enough to ascertain that he's not speaking to anyone before knocking and entering to find his office empty. His briefcase is on his chair which is unusual but Sahira dismisses it. She contemplates leaving him a message but decides not to, they'll catch up with each other soon enough. She then reconsiders and sends him a quick text.

Content that Hanssen is still around somewhere, Sahira heads back to Darwin, half expecting to see the familiar looming shape of him on the ward but no-one has seen him. She considers that they are destined to keep missing one another this afternoon but is happy that she'll see him at home tonight. She stays on the ward, mostly at the nurses' station, until the end of her shift, catching up on paperwork and checking out a couple of research references which Elliott had suggested she check out. Allowing her mind to wander at one point, Sahira muses that if not for that call-out mid-morning, it would have been the easiest day's money she'd earned in a long time.

"How is he doing?" Sahira asks the nurse standing over Greg's bed on Keller, she vaguely recognises her as one of the more regular agency nurses and Sahira knows she and Greg and fond of one another. Then again, Sahira considers with a smile, Greg's fond of every female in the hospital.

"No change. He's going to be sore for a while and off his feet with that leg but he'll be back flirting with everyone soon enough." Sahira forces a smile in response before turning to leave and head back to the staff room.

Sahira gets changed out of her green CTU scrubs and into the clothes she was wearing that morning which seems like a week ago. Today has felt one of the longest of her career and she's glad it's over. She decides that as soon as she gets in, she is going to have a hot bath and then curl up with Indy and Henrik and watch some mind-numbing TV after some kind of dinner before going to bed earlier than usual and making the most of it.

Reaching into her jacket pocket she frowns at an unexpected foreign item and pulls out a small bar of her favourite chocolate, turning it over in her fingers, she realises that Henrik must have sneaked it in there at some point this morning before he left. She smiles at the memory of the morning and how nobody would believe her if she told them about the little things that Henrik did for her and Indy.

Locking up her locker, Sahira turns to leave the room and turn off the lights. As she does so, her eyes catch sight of a coat hanging up on a peg and she feels a rush of sadness and worry when she recognises it as Greg's coat. He hadn't regained consciousness when she checked at the end of her shift and on a whim, Sahira picks it up and puts it on over her own.

Sahira heads over to the crèche to pick up her son only to be told that he isn't there. Before she can panic, the girl informs her that Mr. Hanssen picked up her son. Sahira figures that she must have just missed Henrik and Indy, when she was in the lift he probably used the stairs as was his wont every so often. She decides to check his office one final time and the lift deposits her on the fifth floor. She heads along the corridor to the familiar set of wooden doors, knocking once and heading in, closing the door behind her and turning on the lights in the dark room.

"Where are you, Henrik?" Sahira mumbles to herself as she walks over to his desk and see his briefcase still on his chair, exactly where it was earlier. She is confused, he's got Indy so he can't be in theatre but his stuff is still here, in nearly seventeen years of knowing him, Sahira hasn't once seen him leave his briefcase at the hospital. She considers paging him and reaches for her pager but instead her hands land on her mobile phone and she rings him this time instead of texting him.

'This is Henrik Hanssen. Please leave a message.'

"Henrik, it's me, wondering where you are. Give me a call when you get this." Hanging up she decides to ring the house phone for it to ring and ring.

Sahira heads back to Hanssen's office to wait for him and Indy feeling a bit confused. Henrik almost never has his mobile turned off, there are days when he seems surgically attached to it. She wonders if he's just in a place where the signal is poor and gives it a few minutes before trying again.

'This is Henrik Hanssen. Please leave a message.'

Frowning a bit at her phone, she decides against leaving another message and puts the phone on the floor, within reaching distance so that she can pick it up if Hanssen rings her back. Snuggling deeper into Greg's coat, Sahira closes her eyes and she wonders why Henrik doesn't want to speak to her. Or speak to anyone. Unless Jac was right: who was that lady?

She didn't hear the office door open, still sleeping on the sofa at the back of the darkened office. Only when Hanssen puts his briefcase down on his desk does Sahira wake and let out a noise of surprise, Greg's coat falling off her onto the floor in front of her as she jerked awake.

Sleepily Sahira recognises Hanssen's tall, suited form and relaxes and realises that she must have fallen asleep waiting for him to reappear with Indy. Waiting for her eyes to adjust to the gloom, Sahira tries to work out what time it is, it was probably just after quarter past six when she sat down to wait for them, her watch reads just after half seven but she is confused, it seems lighter than it did an hour ago when she got here. She can't quite work out how that's possible.

He jumps a little at the noise, looking at Indy briefly before crossing the office towards her in six or seven stride lengths. She isn't sure she's ever heard the tone of voice he is using now, "Mr. Douglas. What the hell happened to her?"

Sahira is confused, possibly still sleepy and wonders why Henrik thinks she is Greg. She doesn't answer immediately, his voice replaying in her head _'what the hell happened to her?_' Sahira wonders if Jac's comment about Hanssen knowing the woman was correct. Finding her voice she asks him to clarify.

"Henrik, it's me." He turns the light on as she starts to speak and she watches as his head snaps round to look at her, the colour draining from his face and he looks unsteady on his feet.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: This went about three ways before settling in its current form. A longer than usual chapter for you all to enjoy.**

**Usual disclaimers apply. Let me know what you think. Enjoy. **

As he turns the light on to confront Mr. Douglas, Hanssen hears a voice which breaks his control and his heart. His vision swims as he sways on suddenly unsteady feet, he balances himself, not quite believing what he is hearing.

"Henrik, it's me." He can't find his voice and stares at the vision in front of him, uncertain whether his physical and emotional exhaustion as well as probably low blood sugar have combined to create the most painful hallucination. He continues to stare, waiting for the tell-tale flickering to signal that it's Greg and not Sahira, he almost wonders if there is actually anybody there at all or whether he has finally gone mad with grief.

"Henrik?" It looks and sounds like Sahira but he knows his imagination is more than capable of creating an escape for him to avoid the pain of his situation – it did after his mother died and during the years after it kept him almost sane when he was forced to return to Sweden for the summer and Christmas holidays.

He can't help but flinch a little as a warm hand touches his cheek; then he subconsciously leans into the touch, nuzzling the hand a little before realising that this is all wrong. He doesn't understand why Sahira would be here and where she has been or why she would let them believe her dead and he pulls away, not missing the look of confusion and it infuriates him.

"Where have you been?"

"What? In here since my shift ended. It's only 7.36, so I fell asleep for an hour, what's the problem?" Hanssen is silent for a moment, if she's only been asleep for an hour, that's still plenty of hours unaccounted for.

"Where have you been the rest of the night?"

"The rest of what night?" If he didn't know better he'd say she was genuinely confused, as it is, he doesn't know what he knows right now.

"It's 7.36am, Ms. Shah. Your shift ended at 6pm yesterday." He sees her open her mouth, ready to fire back a retort but she remains silent as the words make themselves understood to her.

"So I fell asleep waiting for you, why didn't you call me? What's the big deal?" He's hurt by her casual disregard of his grief and he's answered before he can check his words.

"I was told you had been injured at the call out yesterday and you didn't see fit to let me or Indy know you were alive. Do you even care about us?" Sahira rears back as if she's been struck. She sees his eyes widen as he realises what he has just said and he opens his mouth, presumably to apologise but Sahira beats him to the punch.

"Don't bother, Henrik." She turns away from him so that he doesn't see her tears and moves past him, shrugging her arm away from his outstretched hand and moves deeper into his office, towards her son. "Whatever you're about to say, I don't want to hear it. Come on Indy, let's go home."

"Want to stay with Daddy." Indy wriggles away from Sahira's hands and she stands at the desk, feeling betrayed but forces herself to move as she sense Henrik's warmth behind her and she evades his grasp and leaves the office without another word or a backwards glance at either of them. Tears clouding her vision, her feet take her down to Keller and she finds herself sat at Greg's bedside.

Hanssen winces a little as Indy proclaims that he wants to stay with him rather than go with his mother. He can almost feel the emotions radiating off Sahira, sadness, betrayal and hurt. Without thinking he moves round the desk, coming up behind her with the intention of pulling her to him and not letting her go until they're both ready, to apologise for what he said.

She obviously hears him and moves around the far side of the desk, away from him before he can touch her. He watches her with a pained expression as she flees the room and Hanssen aches to run after her and haul her back into his office, to hold her and kiss her until he's forgiven.

By the time he reaches his decision, she's gone and he won't be seen chasing after one of his registrars around the hospital, no matter how much he loves her. Pinching his nose and rubbing his tired eyes, he finds he doesn't have a clue how he is feeling right now. He hopes he isn't making a mistake by letting her leave the office without sorting out their misunderstanding, his mistake. He turns back to the desk and sees Indy regard him before smiling and babbling at him – he isn't sure whether Indy's faith in him reassures him or makes him feel worse. The boy continues to look at him expectantly and Hanssen racks his mind, wondering how he is going to entertain a 3 year old boy until Sahira returns.

"How about some drawing?" He offers hesitantly, it's about the only thing Henrik can remember doing himself at that age which won't require an active participation from him – he's got so much work to do. Indy's squeal seems to answer that question and Hanssen fishes out a pencil and some paper and sets him down on the sofa, Indy's attention already on the paper in front of him.

"Let me know if you need anything." Hanssen isn't sure that Indy heard him but he knows that he'll make a fuss if he needs something. Sitting back down at his desk, Hanssen stares unseeing at the work in front of him, his mind drifting to another topic.

Part of him can't believe what he said to Sahira. Yet the rest of him can believe it – his self protection has always been in his words. He couldn't ever hope to stop his father physically but every once in a while he was able to talk himself out of a more serious beating and as he's grown he's continued that trend. Hiding his fears, his emotions, his weaknesses behind sarcasm and insults. He lashed out unthinkingly, in reflex at Sahira, he didn't mean what he said, even if his biggest fear is that she'll come to her senses and leave him, he knows that she loves him and he hopes to whatever deity is listening that she'll forgive him.

He manages about 45 minutes of work before Indy interrupts him, wanting a drink and some more paper. As Hanssen is supplying both items for his young charge there is a knock on his door and Mr. Hope sticks his head around and enters the office. Casting a curious look at Hanssen and smiling at the small boy before rummaging in his pocket and producing a lollipop. Unseen, Hanssen rolls his eyes at Elliott's actions and Indy's excitable response; it's just after 8:30, the boy does not need sugar at this time of day, especially not when he is going to be trapped in the office with him all day.

"What do you say to Mr. Hope, Indy?" Prods Hanssen when Indy snatches the sweet. If he's going to be stuck with a hyper child, the child will display some manners at least.

"Sorry Daddy." Hanssen freezes and suddenly wishes he hadn't said anything now and he is certain that his ears have turned pink at Indy's words. "Thank you." Elliott is beaming at both of them and Hanssen barely resists the urge to groan, instead retreating to his desk wishing that the ground would swallow him up before he got there.

"So, Daddy?" Asks Elliott, obviously amused as he takes a seat opposite Hanssen. Hanssen blinks.

"Indy is Ms. Shah's son." He panics, suddenly wondering if that explanation will help or hang him, "with Mr. Raza." He adds to his explanation hurriedly, hating the gentle twinkle in Elliott's eye and is glad when it fades at the mention of Rafi.

"Mr. Raza, most unfortunate." He mumbles. Hanssen frowns, not certain what Elliott means but doesn't want to prolong any discussion on the failings of Sahira's ex-husband, knowing he'd give himself away and tries to get to the point of Elliott's visit.

"Ah yes, of course. I wanted a GS opinion on this..." Finding the right information, Elliott shows Hanssen a scan result and the two men begin to converse, trading treatment ideas back and forth. Their talk is interrupted by Indy and Hanssen does sigh this time, directing it at the other man.

"Did you have to give the boy sugar at this time of the day?" Elliott only grins, checking the boy is suitably distracted before turning a little more serious. "Mr. Hanssen, is everything ok?"

Sahira sits at Greg's bedside thinking about the events of the previous day and how it was a miracle that Greg survived the explosion, that they weren't all killed from the shrapnel. Now she's removed from the situation, she begins to think about all the doctors and nurses who'd been killed doing their jobs; saving other people's lives. She thinks about how close she and Greg came to being added to that group, for giving their lives to try and save Rafi who'd been drinking and driving. She pulls Greg's coat closer around her,

"It's just that yesterday you looked..." Elliott pauses, trying to find a word suitable that isn't likely to offend his boss. Hanssen realises that he should have known the GS consult was a ruse, it's possibly not even a current case.

"Yesterday was yesterday. Today is another day." Hanssen forces himself to be polite, wishing he could believe his own words. 'Elliott doesn't have an agenda, he just wants to befriend you, Henrik, as hard as it is to believe anyone would actually want to bother' he tells himself. "Thank you for your concern, Mr. Hope, it is however, not necessary."

There is a knock at his door, preventing from Elliott continuing his concerned questioning, Sahira enters the office causing the three occupants to turn around and look at her. "Hello Elliott," she doesn't greet Hanssen and talks to him without looking at him. "I'm going to my mothers for a few hours. Ready Indy?"

"No, stay with Daddy." Sahira grimaces and chances a look at Elliott who thankfully has his nose buried in some paper at Hanssen's desk, attention seemingly elsewhere.

"You can't stay here with Mr. Hanssen – he's too busy, Indy."

"It's not a problem, Ms. Shah. If the boy wishes to remain here, he may. I'm on paperwork only today, he'll be fine. I'll drop him off to yours later." He wants to add something about enjoying her time with her mother but is afraid he'll sound bitter and sarcastic and keeps quiet. She glares at him anyway.

"Fine. Whatever." She bids goodbye to Indy and to Elliott. Elliott notices how Hanssen looks hopeful but Sahira ignores him and leaves. By the time he looks back round, Hanssen is staring at his desk, lining up his pens and the edges of his folders.

"What's happened between you two?" Hanssen continues to stare at his desk, hoping that Elliott will take the hint and leave, suspecting his wish is futile. He is still surprised when a lollipop appears in his line of sight. "I'd offer you one of these if I thought it might help."

Hanssen slowly raises his gaze to Elliott's concerned face, no trace of anything untoward in it and Hanssen tries to maintain his control in the face of unexpected kindness, the act of offering the lollipop has hit a weak spot in his armour and he hesitantly finds himself explaining a bit about their relationship, about yesterday's events and about this morning and about how he doesn't know what to do.

Elliott listens, saying nothing until Hanssen has finished. He begins to correct him about certain events of yesterday and Hanssen begins to realise what has happened. "Ask Mr. Douglas about it and be ready to do a lot of apologising. Can't imagine that chocolates or flowers would hurt." Hanssen spends the next half an hour brooding, Elliott's words keep floating around his head, long after the man has left._'Ask Mr. Douglas'_.

His head is pounding, like he's had too much alcohol to drink; keeping his eyes firmly shut he assesses the state and the situation he's found himself in as much as he can. He's pleased to note that all of his limbs appear to be in working order and attached, nothing broken. He risks moving a little only to find that his body hurts like he's been hit by a train and his skin is on fire, burned. He sinks back into his pillow and allows the darkness to take him.

He doesn't know how long it has been since he last woke up, the ambient light in the room remains the same, his head still hurts but not as badly as before. He doesn't try moving this time and instead allows the noise of the environment to filter into his subconscious. He hears bustle and movement and regular mechanical beeping as well as that smell of cleaning products trying to mask the smell of burned hair and skin. It's a hospital then. His last thoughts before he fades back into unconsciousness are questioning how he ended up in a hospital.

The third time he drifts towards consciousness, it's a stronger attempt and the heavy blackness begins to recede. It takes him nearly two minutes to be able to open his eyes without the light burning its way down his optic nerves and frying the back of his skull. He was right about the hospital, a not particularly familiar ward.

"Ooh, you're awake at last. We were all getting worried about you. Well, more worried than we would..." He moves his head in the direction of the high-pitched noise, wincing at the movement and frowns a little at the blonde nurse stood there, she seems oblivious to his look and carries on talking. It's taking a few moments for the words she's speaking to filter into his brain and begin to make some semblance of sense.

He decides that his investigation wasn't worth the effort and closes his eyes again, hoping that the nurse will take the hint and stop talking at him. He hopes that that, combined with the reduction in light frying his optic nerves from closing his eyes will soothe his head and lessen the veritable rave which is happening right now in his head. He groans a little and thankfully the nurse takes the hint and leaves him alone and he sneaks his eyes open to double-check that she has left him alone only to groan again when he sees he's not alone.

"I've got nothing to say to you." He croaks initially but his voice gets stronger as his statement progresses. His visitor doesn't say anything but pours a small amount of water into a glass and holds it out to him. He scowls at his visitor, eyeing the water distrustfully before taking a small sip, his visitor waits for him to finish drinking before starting to speak.

"Listening is all you are required to do, Mr. Douglas, I'm sure even you can manage that. And this is something I shall say only once." The Swede looks down at the Irishman in the hospital bed in front of him unable to miss the bruising which adorns his face and Hanssen knows it almost certainly covers the rest of his body, hidden away by blankets, bandages and clothes along with the burns from the vehicle. He sighs, not looking forward to what he is about to say to the man and brings his eyes up to meet Greg's before reluctantly uttering.

"Thank you, Mr. Douglas, for saving Ms. Shah's life yesterday."

"Does she know you're here?" He doesn't particularly want Hanssen's gratitude, he'd much prefer Sahira's personal thanks but glumly imagines that Hanssen wouldn't want to share her, quite understandable, then again, what the man doesn't know...

"No." The answer is terse and Greg smirks, his boss is clearly uncomfortable at being in his debt. Too uncomfortable to deflect his answer and hide behind his usual wordplay. Interesting.

"Why are you thanking me? It's Ms. Shah's life." Greg now watches Hanssen's expression turn stony.

"You are well aware of the why, Mr. Douglas." Greg is all too aware, he wants Hanssen to confess but realises it's unlikely to happen now, he chose the wrong approach.

"And have you chosen this moment to thank me in the hope I'm not lucid enough to remember this conversation? Because I am." Even if his head is splitting in three directions, Greg is damn well going to commit Henrik Hanssen's thanks to memory and is going to savour what he is about to say next.

"Good day, Mr. Douglas. Let us hope you recover swiftly." Hanssen inclines his head in Greg's direction and sweeps out of the room but pauses when he hears Greg calling him back.

"As pleasant as it undoubtedly would not be, idle chitchat with you is not on my to do list. What do you want, Mr. Douglas?" Hanssen pauses in the doorway and turns back to look at the man in the bed, only half listening, already planning the inevitable 'conversation' with Sir Frasier Anderson and the board in the aftermath of today's events.

"Did he survive?" Hanssen assumes he's talking about the patient that they were sent to rescue which nearly claimed the lives of both doctors, although he allows no outward display other than his eyes narrowing slightly, his full attention is now on the man in the bed.

"No, she did not survive." Hanssen wonders if Greg knew the woman.

"He. There were two people in that car. Did she, did Sahira tell you who he was?" Sahira hadn't mentioned the identity of the patients they were sent to rescue, then again, he didn't let her say much of anything this morning nor had he gone to find out. He sighs to himself, still regretting the way he handled this morning.

"I have been informed of the information that I require." He realises that he needs to stop wallowing in his emotions, fix things with Sahira and find out what on earth happened yesterday. There will more than likely be some kind of enquiry and they'll eat them all alive if the Director of Surgery doesn't know what happened nearly 24 hours later.

"So you'll blindly believe anything she has to say?" Hanssen wonders where this is going and lets his gaze wander around the small side room, appearing bored with the conversation.

"I have no reason not to trust Ms. Shah." 'but she has every reason to not want to speak to or listen to me right now' he thinks.

"Did she tell you it was Rafi?" Hanssen's gaze snaps back to Greg's, eyes marginally wider than normal. "Apparently not then." He longs to wipe the casual tone out of the man's voice but he knows he needs to leave now to regain his composure and he turns to do so.

"Good day, Mr. Douglas." He takes a breath but it isn't quite enough to calm him and he adds pettily, "try not to die, although be it as it may, perhaps someone in HR may lament your passing, after all there is a lot of paperwork involved and we all have better things to do." Greg glares at him and Hanssen smirks before leaving.

He makes his way back up to the fifth floor and pauses outside his office before stepping inside. Everyone who will want to speak with him and there's always someone ready to interrupt him who will go to his office and Hanssen really isn't in the mood to talk to anyone. He doesn't want to be at work either but knows he can't really leave until his shift is finished and there's still an hour and a half to go, part of him is tempted to text her that he's off home but another part of him doesn't wish to be away from here, just in case. The previous day's events still too fresh in his mind.

For a day that started as well as it did and his mind lingers on their morning and promised to be a steady if unspectacular day, a relaxed bread and butter kind of day has failed miserably and Hanssen finds he currently wants nothing more than to go home, curl up in bed with Sahira and Indy and fall asleep holding his family. His family. His.

He banishes the thought as he selects a couple of files from his never-ending pile of paperwork and exits his office, taking Indy with him, heading along the corridor to one of the conference rooms. He remembers it being the base for Sir Frasier's turn around team many months before and he scowls at the room as if it was offending him, he hopes no-one will find him in here.

He settles down in a chair with the file spread out in front of him and he looks at it without really seeing it, his mind drawn instead back to what he has with Sahira and how he nearly lost it all today. They need to talk, he and Sahira. Talk about Indy. Talk about what happened today. Talk about their future. Although professionally neither of them has a proclivity for wasting words or holding their tongues, especially when firing them at one another but when it comes to talking with one another away from a professional basis they're still surprisingly bad at it – that needs to change.

Taking his glasses off and placing them down onto the desk, he massages his temples, his head is beginning to pound, though he suspects, not as badly as Greg's head is. Hanssen feels a bit torn regarding his current situation: he's thankful that Greg appears to have saved Sahira's life, beyond thankful in fact; relieved that he himself survived but annoyed to no end that it was Greg at all.

He doesn't like the Irishman one bit; Hanssen concedes the man is a capable surgeon but he's reckless, impulsive, charming, good looking and has his eyes set on Sahira. It's that which concerns him. What is keeping Sahira with him? Greg has the looks, the charm and saving her life isn't going to hurt his cause with her at all. He now has the added complication of Rafi, Elliott didn't tell him that it was Rafi, either. Burying his face in his left hand, Hanssen closes his eyes and the events of the previous 36 hours catch up with him and he soon falls asleep.

He wakes up a couple of hours later, feeling a little better for having had some sleep. He realises that at some point Indy has climbed into his lap and is sitting and colouring in one of his reports and Hanssen curses, startling the boy who now looks to be on the verge of tears.

"Don't worry, Indy. It's ok." He offers the boy a smile who relaxes and goes to pick up another bit of Hanssen's report. He wonders what Sir Frasier would say to monthly reports being highlighted with brown and blue crayon, smirking as he imagines the man's response.

"No more colouring. Shall we go home?" He rescues the rest of his papers from Indy's determined grasp and tidies up the room, leaving no trace of their occupation.

"Mummy sad?" Hanssen turns his head to look at the boy sitting on the sofa in his office as he packs a couple of files into his briefcase. He nods as he picks up the boy, carrying him in one arm with his briefcase in the other hand and moves towards the office door.

"Why?" Indy's question catches him off guard; he can't possibly answer that truthfully. He doesn't know what to say to that. Thankfully Indy doesn't seem to wait for an answer and continues with his questioning, "can we make her happy?"

"Got any ideas, Indy?" Hanssen asks dryly, amused when Indy screws up his face, thinking hard.

"You make her happy." He wishes he hadn't asked.

"Oh really?" Hanssen didn't mean to say that bit out loud and Indy's sure nod almost breaks his heart. He hugs the boy closer to him as he closes the office door behind them and they head down to the car park to go home. "Maybe once I did."

"Oh dear, someone's in the dog house then?" Hanssen's gaze snaps to the man moving out from behind the counter and fixes him with a glare and replies testily to the man's speculation.

"Your assumptions are unwanted." To his annoyance, the man just gives him a patronising smile as he makes his way over and stands next to Hanssen.

"Alright Sir, whatever you say. Let me know if you want some help." The man slinks off but Hanssen can almost feel the man's smirk on him as he wanders back to the counter. Taking a calming breath, he turns towards the small boy holding his hand and he leans down to pick him up and settles him on his right hip, feeling the small flare of emotion when Indy settles into his side, completely trusting him. He glances down at the boy and his lips quirk into a proud half-smile.

"So do you see anything here that your mother would like, Indy?" He asks the small boy who looks like he is scrunching his face in concentration to Hanssen's amusement and after a moment he points to his choice. After a bit of juggling, he picks up the bunch of flowers that Indy has selected on their behalf and Hanssen admits the boy's selection is a good one and they make their way back to the counter.

"Thank you Sir." The man behind the counter begins to partially wrap the flowers, his earlier attitude replaced much to Hanssen's relief, he's too tired to be polite to people who aren't patients, colleagues or his family.

"Daddy! Money!" Hanssen has to use both arms to stop the suddenly wriggling boy from falling to the floor in his excitement at the realisation that money is going to be involved and he desperately wants to be the one to pay. Hanssen doesn't understand the boy's obsession with being the one to hand over the money but once he is satisfied that his grip on the boy is sufficient, he dutifully opens his jacket and removes his wallet, passing a couple of notes to Indy who excitedly throws the notes onto the counter.

"Thank you." The man addresses Indy who beams and hands him the change. The young boy promptly pockets it and Hanssen shakes his head.

"You're keeping the change, I take it?" Hanssen dryly asks. He picks up the now wrapped bunch of flowers and turns to leave the shop, wanting to get home and make some attempt at an apology.

He can tell Indy is tired and wants to go home; there's no guarantee that the traffic will work in his favour and the sooner they get moving, the happier they both will be. Reaching the shop door, Hanssen pauses and frowns, trying to get the door open with his hands full is proving difficult and he is relieved when the man from the counter appears and opens the door for him.

"One last thing, Sir." Hanssen turns to face the man, not wanting to stand in the cold wind any longer than he has to. "Good luck."

'Thank you' he thinks to himself as the shop door closes in front of them and he and Indy head towards his car and go home. 'Considering recent events, we need all the help we can get' thinks Hanssen somewhat melodramatically.

For once, Hanssen was thankful and surprisingly tolerant in his own mind of Indy's babbling on the way home, it served to distract him from his thoughts and worries about the flowers – what ifs floating around his head. If Indy hadn't been with him, Hanssen would probably have left the flowers in the car, deciding that he isn't cut out for the traditional romantic gestures; they're too nerve-wracking.

Sahira isn't home when Hanssen and Indy arrive at her house and letting them both in, with Indy's 'help', the flowers find their way into a vase with water with Indy's card for Sahira that he made from a page of Hanssen's monthly report to Sir Frasier next to them.

Hanssen, bemused watches the boy play whilst the dinner is cooking, his game seems to involve hitting as many bricks as he can with his toy ambulance. He returns to the kitchen, his almost anxious gaze to the clock, feeling like a fool. He's never even attempted anything like the flowers before and reverts back to his old habit of lining everything up. All the utensils lie perpendicular to the edge of the kitchen work top and a uniform distance apart. He starts pacing. There's nothing else he can do now but wait, he assumes that the traffic must be slow from her mother's or she'd have been home by now.

Sahira arrives home half an hour later and dinner is ready, sitting in the oven to keep it warm. She wearily enters the house and the sight which greets her is almost a carbon copy of the sight which met her on Boxing Day afternoon, Henrik is fast asleep on the couch snoring softly with Indy asleep on top of him, the TV on quietly in the background.

She makes her way silently into the kitchen and stops short at the bunch of flowers sitting on the table with a card in front of them. She smiles when she realises that Indy's card is part of Hanssen's report and that he must have been wanting to tear his hair out when he realised what Indy had done. She runs her fingertips along some of the petals and jumps when she hears a voice coming from the doorway.

"I hope you like them, I felt like a fool buying them." She turns and takes in the view in front of her, Henrik is standing there, sans glasses, shirt sleeves rolled up, waistcoat on and Indy snuggled into his chest and Sahira almost melts and belatedly hopes that Indy isn't drooling on Henrik's clothes.

"Are these for me?" She feels part of her anger towards him soften, part of her knows that he didn't mean what he said and that he's no doubt been tearing himself apart all day with guilt. She feels a little guilty that Henrik has made this effort and she was avoiding going home to her son and best friend.

"Who else?" Comes the tired reply. "Can we talk after dinner?" Despite his obvious tiredness, she can still see his trepidation and she agrees. They eat dinner quietly, keeping the TV on in the living room to provide some background noise. There are a couple of stilted attempts at conversation which trail off, increasing the awkwardness in the room and some of Hanssen's older fears and insecurities raise their head, unsure whether he should be there, how he doesn't belong there.

Sahira sends Indy to go and play in the other room, breaking Hanssen's internal monologue and closes the kitchen door behind him. He begins to clear the remains of dinner away and Sahira makes some tea which Hanssen takes as a positive sign – she's not throwing him out in the next few minutes then. She coughs and he busies himself, trying to divert his attention. He's been trying not to stare at her since she got home, trying not to drink in the sight that only 24 hours ago he thought he'd never have again and he's failed miserably – he finds he really doesn't care.

She can feel his gaze on her again as she's making the tea. He's been staring at her whenever he thinks she isn't looking and she doesn't know why, she coughs deliberately and any other time she would probably be amused by his reaction. She hands him his mug of tea and he launches into an apology. As he's apologising for his words in his office this morning, Sahira can see and hear his walls go back up, his speech becoming more formal and his posture stiffer – it's Mr. Hanssen and not Henrik apologising. Sahira isn't quite sure what she makes of that or how she feels about it but she listens to him. She wants to forgive him and knows that she will if she hasn't already but she's still mad at him, at his insinuation.

As they talk, they begin to sort out their day, straightening the events out, confirming or correcting as they go. Hanssen decides not to mention Rafi yet but confesses that Elliott put him straight on a few bits. Sahira senses his unease at receiving any support or guidance from Elliott and questions Hanssen about his reluctance.

"It's just not something that anyone other than you has ever tried to do. It's hard not to revert back to suspicion of the motives involved in such a request."

"Is it because you're afraid that I could use what I know about you to hurt you?" He doesn't answer and he watches Sahira get up, facing away from him and stare out of the window, he knows that she's not sure what to make of what he hasn't said.

"Sahira?" She doesn't answer him this time and he throws caution to the wind and stands up, moving across to her and pulling her into his arms, the way he wanted to this morning in his office. "I can't help but react like that. Intellectually I am aware you would never do such a thing, but this is how I am, I can't ignore something which has kept me safe."

"Is that how Mr. Hanssen or how Henrik feels?" She asks, her words a little muffled against his chest but he understands her point.

"Admittedly, Mr. Hanssen is still furious at Ms. Shah for the stunt she pulled," he tightens his arms around her, preventing her from pulling away as he concedes the point, "but Henrik is glad beyond compare that Sahira is alive and well. And just so you know, both Mr. Hanssen and Henrik love you."

He leans down to kiss her, to make his point and at the last moment Sahira turns her head so that his lips brush her cheek. He closes his eyes when he realises what she has done and allows his lips to linger on her cheek, not yet ready to relinquish contact.

"Give me some time, Henrik." After a moment longer, Hanssen nods and pulls away, straightening his collar.

"I'll take Indy up, if you like." It isn't a question and he pauses for a moment before he leaves the room in search of Sahira's son, deciding not to ask Sahira if she still loves him, scared of the answer she may give.

Hanssen gathers up Indy who had picked up on the tension between the adults and kept himself quiet and close to one of them all evening. Taking him upstairs, he gets him changed for bed before sitting on the edge, ready for a short story. He meets Sahira on the stairs as he leaves once Indy has finally fallen asleep but she doesn't meet his gaze and goes to walk past him but Hanssen sticks out an arm to stop her, "I am so sorry about this morning."

"Henrik, please..." She pushes against his arm and he lets her pass him. "Just give me some time."

He retreats back downstairs and he hears the bath running. By the time he hears the bath emptying an hour later, he has tidied the kitchen and the living room and started on his work. Ninety minutes later he has finished all of his work that he brought home and can't think of any other stalling tactics and heads upstairs, not sure if he's welcome in Sahira's bed. He slips into the dark room and kneels down next to her, "Do you want me to sleep on the sofa?"

"I don't care what you do." He tries not to be hurt by the flat tone she employs and he heads to the bathroom to get changed and ready before returning to the bedroom. He turns over in bed, wanting to pull her close to him and hold her as he has done for most nights over the past few months. Sahira won't let him touch her and she moves away and after two attempts, Hanssen gives up and he lies awake. He's exhausted but after a while when Sahira's breathing has evened out he turns onto his side, facing her and reaches out an arm. He strokes her hair and softly whispers, "jag alskar dig," and he falls asleep with his hand holding hers.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: The general consensus is that I've been too cruel to poor Henrik. Sorry guys, I'll play nicely from now on. **

**I don't have a wand to make everything better instantly but I do have total power in this little AU and this is what I've come up with. I hope it meets with your approval.**

**This is the second chapter I've posted today so if you want to read the previous one before this one, now would be the time. Only a short chapter, no real plot but hopefully it'll make up for the previous chapter.**

**Thanks for the feedback so far. Enjoy. **

Hanssen slowly drifts awake and is initially pleased that he doesn't have to get up early today, he's on the night shift tonight and tomorrow night. He reaches out to Sahira's side of the bed and realises it's empty, he panics and it takes him a moment or two to calm, reminding himself that she is fine. She is on an earlier shift pattern than he is for the next few days and she has almost certainly left for work, judging by the time.

He lies in bed for another couple of minutes before deciding to get up, he showers and makes himself some breakfast and a mug of tea. He spends the next thirty minutes wandering around the house, cataloguing Sahira's furniture and comparing it to his own

Hanssen barely sees Sahira over the next five or six days, their shifts are out of sync and he's barely been called to consult on Darwin at all, almost all of his operating time has been spent in Keller. He finds that he misses her, the odd glimpse of her reminding him that it's been too long since he's spent any time with her.

A couple of times, Hanssen has made the trip down to Darwin for no reason other than to try and speak with her but every time either Elliott or Jac have caught him and commanded his attention and he has eventually escaped without managing to speak to Sahira. When he has returned to Sahira's after work she is already asleep and he doesn't want to wake her and gone in the morning when he wakes up. A couple of nights he has returned to his own house, aware he hasn't been there for a while and wanting to check on things. He tried to speak to her, calling her to his office one afternoon but she was paged back to Darwin within minutes of her arrival much to his frustration.

It's been a week since the day of the call out and Hanssen is stuck in his office between meetings, trying to finalise a couple of proposals for the board. There's a knock at the door and Hanssen pauses his typing for a moment, checking his diary for any meeting at this time and comes up empty. He has a clinical lead meeting in twenty minutes but nothing else for the rest of the today. An unplanned staff visit rarely ends well for anyone.

Allowing himself a sigh, he calls 'enter' and to all outward appearances, he is still typing away. Flicking his eyes up to see who has entered his office as they turn to shut the door behind them, his heart lifts.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Ms. Shah?" He asks, without looking up.

When he doesn't get an answer, he stops tapping at his keyboard and looks up for Sahira to find that she's stood with a folded piece of paper in front of his desk and for a moment he panics, that today she will hand in her notice and that that is her resignation letter. He doesn't want her to leave.

Sahira watches him as he acts disinterested in his guest and continues to tap at the keyboard, she figured out that trick within about a week of meeting him back at St. Thomas' but she hasn't ever called him on it; knowing that she has his curiosity she is happy to wait silently until she has his attention. There are some times when she hasn't got a clue what goes through Henrik's mind but times like this, she knows what he's thinking. His predictability works in her favour and warms her.

She watches Hanssen make a production of stopping typing and look up to find her, she has missed him and welcomes the familiar heat as his gaze rakes over her until it catches sight of the piece of paper in her hand and she sees his expression falter before it turns blank and impassive as he retreats behind his mask. When his eyes meet hers again, he raises his head and inclines it in the direction of the paper, an unasked question.

"Oh, some test results," she answers casually, trying to gauge his reaction, working out where to take the conversation.

"Then I shall repeat my earlier question for you, Ms. Shah. To what do I owe the pleasure of this interruption?" Sahira bristles at his words but swallows her response. She didn't come here to pick a petty fight with him, she considers her options and speaks.

"Are you okay, Henrik?" It wasn't what she wanted to ask him at all or even meant to until she opened her mouth and for a moment she is worried that he'll get snide; blaming her for his current state of unhappiness, she'd deserve it if he did do that. Instead he appears indifferent.

"Is this professional or personal curiosity, Ms. Shah?" That stung.

"Henrik. You're my best friend."

"Ms. Shah..." He interrupts her but Sahira carries on. She's sick of their estrangement and she knows she's been a bitch and she wants 'them' back and she isn't going to let him speak over her until she's finished her bit.

"I miss you, Henrik." No response, just the same unimpressed stare, she'd never really been on the receiving end of that glare and it hurts. Suddenly Sahira realises the extent of his hurt and she changes her approach.

"Indy misses you." It's a low blow but it gets a response from him, Hanssen may be the master manipulator but Sahira has been his sidekick for nearly seventeen years, she's learned a few things in that time. She knows that Hanssen is very fond of her son and treats him like his own. "He still loves you, still asks after you all the bloody time. He thinks you don't love him any more."

"What did you tell the boy?" He can't meet her eyes and stares at the floor instead.

"I didn't tell him anything," Sahira begins quietly, having found her voice. "I told him that you love him and that you've just been too busy with work but you'll be back soon. If you aren't planning to come back to us, let me know now and I'll break his heart tonight." She finishes, sounding resigned to her own ears.

"It isn't that I won't come back." Sahira moves closer to him, relieved when he doesn't move away.

"Do you still love me? Love us?"

"You know that I do; I never stopped." He raises his eyes briefly and Sahira can see the pain in them which she is responsible for putting there and she hates herself for hurting him. She closes the last of the distance between them and hugs him, wrapping her hands underneath his jacket and noting that he's lost weight since the last time she did this.

She puts her arms around him and he stiffens, not expecting the contact from her. He is caught between pushing her away, doing what is best for him in the long run and between holding her to him and never letting her go. He's missed her, having her so close to him but being so removed was heartbreaking. He remains still, undecided, until he feels a shove from Sahira and unprepared for it, he falls back into his chair.

"Sahira..." It's the first time he's said her name out loud for what feels like ages and he relishes the shape of it on his tongue and the sound of it in his ear. They stare at each other for a moment; she's stood so close to him and he knows that if she comes any closer to him, emotional well-being be damned, he's damn well going to kiss her. The moment drags on and he opens his mouth a fraction to breathe, realising that his hands have found their way to her hips and squeezing his fingers, he encourages her closer.

The moment is broken when footsteps approaching his office distract her and she turns her head to the door but the footsteps continue on down the corridor. He lets out the breath he'd forgotten that he'd been holding, too caught up in hoping that no-one was abut to walk in on the Director of Surgery and one his registrars.

Sahira seems to realise a moment later where she is standing and moves to step away from him. Hanssen panics and keeps one hand on her waist, he runs the other up to the back of her neck and brings her head down to meet his.

Their lips meet and the kiss turns hungry, their estrangement making them desperate for make up for lost time. After a minute or so they part, both breathing heavily, Hanssen can feel the adrenaline in his system as he stares at Sahira in front of him. He feels her laces her hands over his, removing them from her hair and her waist and placing them on the arms of his chair, holding them in place.

He looks at her with a guarded expression, not certain what her next move will be. Part of him is terrified that she'll leave him now he's vulnerable again. Without touching any other part of him, she leans in again to kiss him and Hanssen lets his eyes flutter shut and lets her kiss him and control the kiss. Although he is capable of breaking free of her light grip on his wrists, he finds he has no inclination to do so. He allows himself to be kissed by Sahira, savouring the familiar feel of her lips on his.

The clearing of a throat at the door of the office makes them jump apart guiltily and they look around to see an amused and slightly embarrassed Elliott Hope stood there looking around the office before returning his gaze to the pair.

"I see I'm a little early and I'll wait until you're ready, Mr. Hanssen but be warned - Ms. Naylor and Mrs. Campbell are seconds away." He closes the door and leaves Sahira and Hanssen alone.

"Elliott's one of the good guys." Observes Sahira, not looking at Hanssen.

"Indeed, he's been invaluable," Hanssen agrees with her. Although he's embarrassed that somebody walked in on Sahira kissing him, Hanssen is relieved that it was Mr. Hope. "I have a clinical lead meeting now, but perhaps..." He trails off, not wanting to sound presumptuous.

"I finish at 6 tonight. Come on over, the bed has been lonely without you." He nods, secretly pleased that she'd noticed he hadn't been there.

"I shall try not to overrun, I'll let you know. There's something I want to ask you, anyway." Sahira smiles at him and leaves the office and Hanssen feels a flare of hope that they might make this work, that they may recover from last week's events. Allowing himself a smile he spots Sahira's piece of paper – the test results – on the floor and he picks them up and opens them, curious as he stands to walk over to the office door to let the others in.

He opens the office door absent-mindedly, greeting the others politely and noticing that Mr. Spence has joined the group outside. He looks back at the paper – it's not test results at all, it's a drawing by Indy of what he thinks is meant to be three people. One has short dark hair, the second has longer dark hair and the third is almost twice the height of the others and he realises it's the three of them; him, Sahira and Indy.

Allowing himself a second small smile in as many minutes, Hanssen decides he's a hopeless case and surreptitiously hide the paper, folded once more under his files and turning back to the others he slips seamlessly into Director of Surgery mode and starts the meeting.

Hanssen's attention lasts for about fifteen minutes until Mr. Spence and Ms. Campbell start sniping at one another for the second time of the meeting and he meets Jac Naylor's gaze who rolls her eyes to his amusement. He uses the distraction to send a text message to Sahira, confirming that he will be over tonight and confessing his desire to strangle two of his consultants.

He receives her reply about a minute later. 'If it helps to distract you, we never did discuss names for those boxing day triplets of yours! x' He splutters, covering it with a cough which gets the attention of the two sparring consultants. To help distract him indeed! He's going to have words with her, that wasn't fair and judging by the way Ms. Naylor is looking at him, his ears have gone red again.

In the end, the meeting overruns by ten minutes and he waits impatiently for the last of the doctors to leave his office so he can pack up his briefcase and head over to Sahira's. He exits his office, turning the lights off and makes it to the car park in record time. To his relief, the traffic is light and he wonders if it's half term. Twenty five minutes after leaving the hospital, Hanssen is parked up and he knocks at Sahira's door.

Henrik lies flat on his back, eyes closed as he breathes in contentedly. Sahira is partially draped over him and he runs a hand languidly up and down her spine, smirking when she shivers and burrows closer to his side.

"You can wipe that smug grin off your face, mister." He smiles as he opens his eyes, tilting his head to look at her and he cranes his neck a little to kiss the top of her head.

"Not as long as you are here, right where I want you, Ms. Shah. I've missed you." He can feel her ribcage vibrate with gentle laughter and they remain where they are for another ten minutes before Sahira breaks the comfortable silence.

"I suppose we should get up some time." Hanssen frowns and mumbles a tired 'why?' and Sahira hits him with her pillow, making him frown and sigh theatrically as he moves to get up, untangling Sahira's legs from his own, muttering about slave drivers.

He moves off to the bathroom, waiting for the water to warm up. He stares, unblinking, into the mirror at his reflection but before he can contemplate anything in any great detail, the bathroom door opens and Sahira slips inside, shutting the door behind her.

"Yes, Ms. Shah?" She ignores his question and instead steals a quick kiss from him.

"Think happy thoughts, Henrik." Sahira knows that she has been responsible for his unhappiness after that disastrous CTU call out and the way she acted in the aftermath. Determined to make it up to him and get their relationship back on track she makes her way to the shower, suddenly realising that Hanssen hasn't moved she turns back around to face him.

"What are you waiting for sailor, a better offer?" Sahira wishes that she had a camera to capture the expression on his face when comprehension dawns.

"You want to?" He looks away from her and she can't quite see his face but she has known him long enough to know that Hanssen is gathering his thoughts, and, knowing him, his doubts. When he looks back at her, Sahira realises that he has become quite shy and her heart melts. "I've never done this before," he confesses.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Apologies, I don't know if it was just my machine but I couldn't access FF the other night let alone upload any new chapters so it's had to wait until now. I was a bit busier than I anticipated last week with work and some 15 hour work days meant I was sleeping rather than writing in my free time but here it is and I hope that it's worth the short delay.**

**Feedback as always is appreciated and has been most useful recently so thank you all.**

**On with the show. Usual disclaimers apply. **

"_I've never done this before." He confesses._

As soon as comprehension dawns in his mind of what Sahira is suggesting, his thoughts scatter and all he can think of is the fact that they will both be stood very close to one another with the warm water of the shower running between them. 'Perhaps', his mind supplies, 'perhaps it won't be so bad after all'.

"Yeah, and?" Sahira asks, ignoring Hanssen's initial uncertainty, holding her hand out towards him. When he doesn't answer she moves to grasp his hand and pulls him towards the shower.

"Come on Henrik." He hesitated a moment longer and Sahira pulls him into the shower, and he watches her turn around straight away to adjust the temperature a littler warmer than he would normally use. "Is this ok? It's not too hot?"

His mouth has gone very dry suddenly and it takes him a moment to answer, nodding "this is fine."

He stands there, waiting a little impatiently for Sahira to take the lead, unsure of what he is to do as she reaches behind her for something. Finding the item, she turns back to him again, pulling him closer to her so that they are touching. He allows himself to be moved until his head in under the spray of the water for a moment and he frowns as her hands run through his hair, getting it thoroughly wet.

"What are you..." his voice trails off as he spots the bottle of shampoo in her hand and she squeezes some into her hand before carefully replacing the bottle. Sahira rubs the shampoo into his hair and he tilts his head to allow her better access to his scalp, he closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her fingers massaging his head. He realises that his hands seem to have found their way to her hips, fingers squeezing at the same time as hers.

"Head back for me." She moves his head back into the spray, removing the suds which she has created from the shampoo and Hanssen closes his eyes again. His mother was the last person to wash his hair for him and it was very different to this situation. When she is done, she pulls him closer to her and carefully swaps positions so that she is now under most of the spray.

Looking at him expectantly, he takes a moment to realise that she wants him to wash her hair and he searches behind him for the bottle of shampoo that she used earlier. He tilts her head back and runs his fingers through her hair, mimicking her earlier actions, their height difference working in his favour and he smiles after stealing a quick kiss from her upturned mouth to her pleased surprise. Working his way down her hair until he has most of the dark mass covered in suds, he then moves her head gently, watching fascinated as the bubbles trail their way down her body slowly.

He resists the urge to follow the path of the bubbles with his hands but curses to himself when he is trying to finish rinsing out Sahira's hair and loses his focus as Sahira starts to tease him. She uses her left hand to bring his head down to hers and kisses him, distracting him. Hanssen suddenly becomes aware that her other hand is snaking down his chest, lightly scraping her nails along the pale skin as she lazily moved further down, making his abdominal muscles clench as she avoids his groin, diverting at the last minute to the top of his thigh. The groan that escaped him had her smirking as she warred her tongue with his.

"Please," he manages to whisper as he breaks the kiss, breathing hard, resuming the kiss hungrily as she wraps a hand around his erection. The water from the shower continued to coat both of them, making it easier to slide her hand up and down his length. Her grip changing from soft, to light and then to firm as she moved her hand, serving to drive him mad.

Finally deciding he'd had enough teasing, Hanssen attempted to shift them, Sahira broke the kiss and used her left hand which had been tangled in his hair to push him a couple of steps backwards until his back met the cool tiled wall, making his gasp at the sudden change in temperature. He had taken the lead in the bedroom and Sahira was not about to let him take over again just yet.

Smirking at his gasp, Sahira leans forward and begins trailing her lips down his neck and around his jaw, gently biting it and earning a growl from him, before she moved lower. Her hand was still moving on him as her pace and grip altered enough to keep him from finding release, but also making his lust spike as she continued to tease him. Her tongue flicking over his nipples, nipping them softly as she shifted her way down his body. She heard the shuddering breath leaving him as he quickly figured out exactly where her mouth was headed. A hint of a smile curved her lips at hearing it too. She wasn't sure how far she could push him yet before his control or comfort snapped, Sahira had yet to really do anything too teasing yet in any of their encounters and the previous time she'd attempted to start something like this, he'd gently pushed her away.

When her knees touched the floor, she let her eyes flutter up to his to find his gaze blazing as he watched her watch him. Not taking her eyes off of him, she moved her hands and let them tongue graze him, Sahira then slid her tongue from the base to the tip of him, and the action caused him to inhale sharply and gulp loudly. Though it was difficult with the water cascading down from the shower, she kept her eyes locked onto his as long as possible before looking away, she let her mouth engulf him briefly before pulling away.

"Sahira, you don't have to." His expected protest lacked any conviction.

"Maybe I want to?" Sahira glances up and sees his eyes close a moment before his head fell back against the tiles with a groan. The sight of such a strong, in-control man surrendering to her was so erotic, that she felt a surge of arousal wash over her. Sahira wasn't sure that she would be able to finish this without attacking him, without sliding back up his tall, pale body and begging him to take her. But she stayed as she was, reminding herself that this was about Henrik and not her. Sahira continues moving on him, taking him deeper into her mouth as she moved faster. Her tongue sliding all around him as she did so, noticing that he forced his hands had formed tight fists and he had tipped his head forward again so he could watch her as she moved. His lips were parted as a fresh groan slipped from him, his eyes burning into hers.

She knew he was close, could feel him swelling more and had every intention of taking him to completion this way, but he had other plans. His hands grasped her arms, pulling her to her feet, crashing his lips onto hers as he threaded one hand back into her hair and turned them, barely noticing how hard he pushed her towards the wall behind him in his rush to get her where he wanted her. His hand in her hair was the only thing that kept her head from banging into the now warm tiles behind her.

The next thing Sahira is aware of is that he has lifted her against the wall of the shower, pinning her to the tiles before he enters her. It is her turn to break their kiss, to gasp at the sudden fullness of his thrust, the deep stretching sensation shooting pleasure all around her body as she wraps her legs around his torso. Hanssen barely gives her a moment to adjust to him, although the moment where he simply savoured the feeling of her flexing around him, before he started moving. His pace started slowly, wanting to make this last but it didn't stay that way for long. Speeding up with each drive of his hips that had her moaning as she clutched at his shoulders, unable to otherwise move. One of her hands moving to slide into his now wet hair as she met his mouth with hers. Tangling their tongues briefly, she ended the kiss with a soft nip to his lips, a growl rumbling from him at the tingling her soft bite left behind.

"Henrik." She moaned loudly, the sound of his name on her lips had his eyes glinting in the bright room as he moved frantically with and against her until she distantly hears him call out, too lost in her own pleasure to be certain what he said.

Both were panting as he sagged against her. Her head resting on the wall behind her as she waits for the room to stop spinning, his head rested on her shoulder. He locked his legs to keep them from dropping them both to the floor of the shower. After a few minutes, when their breathing began to return to normal, Sahira felt his head lift again, and opened her eyes to find him watching her. As she was sifting her fingers through his wet hair, she brought his mouth to hers and gave him a gentle kiss.

By the time that Sahira makes it downstairs, after getting changed, Hanssen has begun dinner, slicing vegetables with a surgical precision into uniform size and thickness. She hasn't ever been able to walk down stairs quietly and Sahira knows that he knows that she is there, watching him, she saw him tense momentarily, his eyes flicking over to her before relaxing, offering her a small smile and continuing.

She notes that this is the first time in ages that she hasn't seen Hanssen in his trademark suit or a variation thereof or in a pair of surgical scrubs. Instead he has on a light grey long-sleeved shirt, dark trousers and socks and Sahira leans against the door jamb openly watching him.

"Do you even own a pair of jeans, Henrik?" The question is out before Sahira can stop herself and she is relieved when his lips quirk in amusement.

"Have you ever known me to wear jeans?" His tone is light and gives nothing away.

"Not in the best part of twenty years." Suddenly she feels old, she's no longer the 22 year old she was when she met Henrik back in London all those years ago.

"I see." He doesn't elaborate any further and Sahira is about to repeat her question when he speaks before she can, his tone suddenly formal, Mr. Hanssen-like and it sends a shiver down her spine. "Ms. Shah, perhaps you would care to assist rather than merely observe proceedings?"

"I don't know, Mr. Hanssen. I think anything involving co-ordination or higher brain functions are off the cards for the moment." He offers her a knife and a bag of mushrooms with a proud smirk and she stands close to him and they work in a comfortable silence, making short work of the preparation. He finishes before her and lays his knife down, perpendicular to the edge of the worktop and moves to stand behind Sahira, looming over her shoulder, inspecting her work as he often did when he served as her mentor.

"Excellent work, Ms. Shah," he whispers in her ear, turning his head so that his breath tickles her and unbeknownst to him she closes her eyes, savouring the feel of him as close to her as he used to be when she was an F1. Suddenly something clicks in her mind and she opens her eyes and turns in his arms to face him. He looks a little guarded in response to the sudden movement and Sahira assumes that her expression is the cause for that, she offers him a mischievous smile and he relaxes a little, still acting suspicious of Sahira's actions.

"In London. You used to stand like that on purpose, didn't you?" She'd continued her scrutiny of his face and his expression of innocence would have fooled almost everyone else but her gaze flickers to his ears and she sees a tint of colour to them and she smiles again, she's got him.

"Your ears are pink, Henrik. Come on. Confess." She punctuates each sentence with a quick kiss and then he looks away to his left.

"I did," he quietly admits and Sahira can detect and underlying tone of sadness and she guides his head backs to hers with soft fingers under his chin.

"It was completely unprofessional of me," he continues, Sahira can see his eyes have a far away look as if he is reliving a memory before his eyes seemed to return to focus and his gaze landed back on her. "It was all that I had. Even when you married Rafi, I couldn't help it. I was..."

"There were times, I wondered if you would kiss me." Sahira wonders out loud, not adding that several times she nearly turned her head just enough... even after marrying Rafi; the unmentioned tension between them always thick.

"I nearly did," he whispers a confession and moves his head closer to hers, holding himself millimetres from Sahira's mouth, "I wanted to every time." It's Sahira who closes the gap between them, softly exploring his lips with her own before pulling away just far enough to speak.

"I think we are due a trip to the wet lab at some point then to put that right." She says, whilst trailing her fingers over Hanssen's shirt and she judges by his expression and the way he pulls her into an embrace that she's said the right thing. Sahira relaxes into the embrace, relishing the way his warmth wraps around her until her stomach rumbles quietly, reminding her that they still haven't eaten.

"I don't know about you but I seem to have worked up an appetite this evening." She gently moves out of the embrace and heads towards the oven. "Go and set the table while I get this going." He blinks, caught a little off guard by the change in topic but follows Sahira's directive.

"Where is Indy?" Hanssen asks, as he retrieves three plates, suddenly realising that their little family is down by a third and he hopes that the small boy isn't about to appear in the kitchen, traumatised having witnessed Hanssen's earlier behaviour; he didn't give Indy's mother much in the way of an escape option before dragging her upstairs as soon as he got in the door. Sahira's smirk tells him that she probably knows what he's thinking and he feels sheepish and glad when she appears to take pity on him, not letting him stew.

"He's at my mother's tonight – I didn't tell him you were coming over or he'd never have gone."

"Why not?" He can't decipher the look on Sahira's face as he voices his confusion.

"Because _Daddy_," and suddenly he knows, "he worships the ground you walk on."

"Oh." Hanssen doesn't reply any further, all the retorts forming in his mind are too self-deprecating and Sahira almost certainly would become frustrated with him, instead he offers a weak smile and changes the topic.

After dinner Hanssen retreats to the living room, having been waved out of the kitchen and he sits down, crossing his legs at the knee, debating whether to do some work or spend the rest of his evening talking to Sahira. He hinted earlier that day, in his office, that there was something he wanted to ask Sahira; it was something that he'd been wanting to ask since the idea occurred to him just after Christmas and he'd finally plucked up the courage to ask some time last week but the CTU call-out and the fall out from that day scuppered his plans.

Tonight is the first night that they've spent together since then. The first night since they talked (and got caught kissing) in his office, he's amused rather than upset at that turn of events which surprises him and is thankful that it was Elliott who stuck his head in the door rather than Ms. Naylor or Ms. Campbell. He forces his thoughts back onto his original subject away from the tangent he's drifted onto; Hanssen does not wish to risk over-loading the evening; he does not wish to have to wait to ask Sahira but can see the logic of slowly regaining the equilibrium in their relationship before springing such a request on her. He drums his fingers on his leg, feeling torn, weighing the pros and cons his options.

Sahira enters a few minutes later with two cups of tea and changes the channel on the TV to a football match which has just kicked off. The sport doesn't hold too much interest for Hanssen and he turns his head slightly, allowing him to observe Sahira whilst holding his tea in his hands, his fingers occupied – the tapping of his fingertips is a habit that he's sure Sahira picked up on years ago. He doesn't wish for Sahira to enquire after what is bothering him until he is ready and he can deliberate in peace, his thought processes still a little sluggish from their earlier activities.

A couple of times he has opened his mouth to say something to her when she has jumped out, shouting at the TV and his courage has faltered. He's never really been into football and finds he doesn't understand Sahira's reference to her apparent ability to 'hit a bloody barn door with one leg' and wonders if it's a cultural thing; he's been in England for so many years now that there aren't many situations which leave him confused and feeling like an outsider. He resolves to ask her later when she's calmed down a little.

He elects to remain silent for the moment, glad her ire is aimed at 'the inept' footballers rather than him. She was so angry with him last week and he doesn't ever want a repeat of that and he hopes that she doesn't as well. Whenever their first non-work related argument happened, it was always going to be miserable, more so than their work arguments of the past because it would be personal and given their natures, it would be explosive.

He rises at the sound of the half time whistle, collecting their mugs and heading to the kitchen to make another cup of tea for them, smirking at Sahira's outbursts. The football hasn't captured his interest and so he decides to spend the second half of the match doing some of his work in the kitchen, suitably removed from Sahira's curses at the TV.

"Are you going to sit down?" He shakes his head and presses a kiss to the top of her head as she turns to receive the fresh tea, snaking an arm around the tops of his legs, hugging him to her briefly and the answer to Hanssen's question seems obvious to him now.

"Thank you, no. I have some work to do tonight," and retreats back to the kitchen table, his mind made up and happy with his decision. Now able to shut off any distractions, Hanssen ploughs through his workload with a satisfied smile.

For once Hanssen is ready and in bed before Sahira and it amuses her how he doesn't seem to blink when he is watching her get changed and ready for bed. She toys with him a little, making more of a production of getting changed than she would normally, wondering if he would notice. Silently comparing them, Sahira realises that if Rafi was staring at her the way that Henrik is currently, she would have been unnerved and a little afraid, but with Henrik it's different; the intensity of his stare is him and the way it's focussed solely on her is exciting.

"There's something I wanted to ask you," Hanssen says quietly to her as she gets into bed and settles herself in her customary spot next to him, all warm and comfortable.

"Mmm?" She mumbles and he doesn't answer straight away and after a minute of silence, Sahira cracks open an eye to see Henrik staring off into the distance. She sits up to look at him she sees a glimmer of nervousness in his eyes as he turns to face her.

**Thanks for all the reviews so far, we're heading up to the big five-oh... whoever writes that magic review can have a prize :-)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Let us hope that Hanssen comes back sooner rather than later – Holby just isn't the same without him! Not yet sure what to make of his 'replacement', thoughts anyone? Usual disclaimers apply. The offer of a prize for the 50th review still stands. If it's you, please make sure that I can get in touch with you (esp. if you're posting as a guest!). Mucho thanks to all the lovely feedback so far, it's really appreciated. Other than that, on with the show!**

_"There's something I wanted to ask you," Hanssen says quietly to her as she gets into bed and settles herself in her customary spot next to him, all warm and comfortable._

_"Mmm?" She mumbles and he doesn't answer straight away and after a minute of silence, Sahira cracks open an eye to see Henrik staring off into the distance. She sits up to look at him she sees a glimmer of nervousness in his eyes as he turns to face her._

He takes a deep breath before remembering his earlier confusion. "What did you mean earlier, during the football by being able to 'hit a bloody barn door with one leg tied behind your back'?"

"What?" Despite her obvious confusion, Sahira explains about her frustration at the inability of players who are paid an extortionate amount to successfully do what they are paid to do and how that phrase was a verbal manifestation of it and one of the politer ones in circulation.

"Ah, most interesting." He states before settling back down onto the pillows and closing his eyes, pulling Sahira closer into his side.

"Now what was it you really wanted to ask me?" She feels him tense a little.

"Nothing," he attempts a casual lie but Sahira isn't having it, she can feel the increase in his heart rate through his chest against her cheek, he's hiding something.

"Henrik..." He opens his eyes, staring at the ceiling for a few moments longer before turning his head slightly to stare at her, expression unreadable and if Sahira couldn't feel his heart, she wouldn't have known he was nervous.

"Iwantustolivetogetherwillyou moveinwithme?" She has to blink a couple of times but she thinks that she understood it, she tries to taper down the excited response inside her, wanting to be certain that she did hear him correctly before allowing her to respond openly, she'd hate for a misunderstanding and how awkward that could make things.

"Say that again" He nervously repeat his question, slightly slower and quieter, much more like his regular self, she can't recall him ever speaking so quickly or nervously.

"I thought that's what you said." Sahira smiles, deciding it would be unfair to let him stew, "of course, I'd love to and I'm certain that Indy will be thrilled too."

"Thank you," he sounds genuinely relieved and Sahira wonders if he thought she'd refuse, "I've been thinking about it since Christmas and..."

"Since Christmas? Let me guess, it took so long to ask because you had to write a proposal and put it in front of the board and an ethics review committee?" He's about to retort when he sees the amusement in Sahira's expression and realises that she's teasing him. Resisting the urge to glare, he runs his hand through his hair and turns onto his side, facing Sahira and runs his hands down her side until they rest on her hips, wondering how long he'll be able to keep his hands there before they wander.

"Well?" He raises a questioning eyebrow to her query, not realising that she required an answer and not certain which bit she wanted answering. "Why wait so long to ask?"

"I had intended to ask you last week; I was less than certain of the appropriateness of the timing." Seeing Sahira's face cloud a little at the mention of the CTU call-out, he hurries to explain. "We haven't been together for that long in the grand scheme of things, I wasn't certain if it would be seen as too hasty, too presumptuous."

"I'd love for the three of us to live together and your timing is perfect." He offers her a shaky smile in return and Sahira hopes that the move will be a good move for him. She suspects that he still feels like an outsider at times and if there is an acknowledgement that they live together, a proper, solid commitment, he might lose some of those fears. They've not been very good at talking to one another, to confirm or deny the parameters of their relationship, they've drifted by, unwilling to talk about it, just in case. Perhaps it would be time to lay their cards on the table and outline what Sahira wants and what Henrik wants and see how similar they are.

"I can't believe this is all you've been thinking about since Christmas, what else is plotting in that Machiavellian mind of yours?" He is definitely not answering that question and seeks to deflect Sahira's curiosity, hoping that his ears haven't turned pink to give him away.

"I was thinking, well, that is, I was hoping that you would consent to moving yourself and Indy to my house." Thankfully his seemingly unexpected statement has caught her attention and he's aware that his fingers are moving of their own accord, dancing over her pyjama-clad skin, he makes no move to stop them.

"Are you certain?" He can see that Sahira wasn't expecting that option as a solution, possibly expecting them to stay at her house. Hanssen tries to hide his immediate annoyance, of course he is certain, he wouldn't have made the offer if he wasn't. He appreciates that he has had much longer to think about the options and consider the possibilities and any potential ramifications over the past few months than she has in the previous minute, not quite realising that he has slipped back into Mr. Hanssen in a lecturing mood.

"It's the more logical choice," he explains the likely forced sale of Sahira's house as part of the divorce proceedings between her and Rafi and highlights the fact that Rafi doesn't know where Hanssen's house is as another benefit and one he secretly hopes won't be necessary. "I appreciate at the moment, the house is a little spartan..."

"A little?" He winces a little at the shrill exclamation and Sahira apologises, running her hands through his hair and massaging his scalp. He immediately relaxes and closes his eyes, savouring the innocent gesture of comfort she is offering.

"Yes well, I have very little need for any furniture when I spend so little time there. Hopefully soon I will have a most pressing reason to return home."

"Or two." He opens his eyes at her, not sure what she means.

"Or two?" He parrots back at her.

"A most pressing reason or two..." He understands and a mischievous quirk of his lips almost gives him away before he replies.

"Ah, as Indy is a most pressing reason indeed, I suppose I can be persuaded to add you to the list, if you are feeling neglected?" He smiles as he catches her hand which was on its way to strike him playfully and tugs her off-balance until her body is partially draped over his. Foreheads touching, he tilts his mouth just enough to initiate a soft kiss which Sahira responds to, her mock annoyance forgotten. "So, what do you think, Ms. Shah?"

"I don't know..." She's teasing him and he knows it and she almost shrieks as he rolls them, pinning her beneath him. Grinning at him, she reaches up to run her fingers through his hair, "perhaps I could be persuaded..."

Hanssen gulps but sets to work, lowering his head and trailing kisses across her jaw, down her neck and along her collarbones, making Sahira arch up into him and he smirks to himself, still a little in awe at the responses he can cause in her. "How about now?"

"Well, it's a big thing to organise and I do have my son to consider..." He growls and softly bites the side of her neck as his hands find the buttons of her pyjama top and he begins to undo them, peeling the fabric aside and exploring the newly exposed skin with his mouth.

The alarm blares and both curse it, it's far too early to be time to get up; managing to drag themselves out of bed, Sahira sluggishly following a few minutes after Hanssen. She wanders into the bathroom, eyes protesting the sudden light and jumps in the shower as he shaves, having just showered, trying not to nick himself with his razor in his tiredness. The shower stops and wrapping herself in a towel, Sahira stands next to him, reaching for her toothbrush.

"You look as tired as I feel," she states as her gaze meets his in the reflection of the mirror. He gives a small, tired smile in response.

"I was ready for bed at a reasonable hour, however, some woman threw herself at me and kept me up until all hours of the night." Hanssen says, keeping a straight face as he speaks, staring into the mirror, his gaze not leaving Sahira's.

"You poor delicate flower, must be a hard life, being so irresistible," she teases, leaning forward to rinse her mouth, then suddenly frowning as she realises what it was that Henrik said. "Hang on. What do you mean by 'some woman'?" She turns to face him but he's already slipped out of the door.

Hanssen is on Keller ward, performing rounds and checking on a couple of his post operative patients, judging their recovery and prognosis. Hanssen is relieved that he has managed to evade the ever enthusiastic Mr. Malick, not particularly in the mood to talk to anyone that he doesn't have to, still a little more tired than he'd have hoped.

His gaze automatically flicks to the bed which housed Mr. Douglas after the CTU call out fiasco but it's now occupied by a different patient. Greg had been discharged the day after the incident and is recuperating at home. Hanssen is aware that it is petty but he is glad that Mr. Douglas has not been at work and won't be for a few more weeks.

Performing the final checks on a patient and comparing them to the notes of the last observation, he is confident that one will be discharged at some point today and informs the patient as such. Satisfied with the progress of his patients and replacing the patient's folder, Hanssen scrubs his hands and he turns to leave the ward when an agency nurse timidly approaches him.

"Excuse me, sir. The patient in bed eight would like a word..."

"Find Mr. Griffin then." The reply is succinct enough that Sahira would probably glare at him.

"Mr. Griffin is in theatre and they've asked for you by name, sir." Hanssen sighs imperceptibly and pauses, trying to remember who the patient is but failing. He turns his head and stares down at the nurse who just about manages to hold his gaze before he capitulates and follows her to the patient in bed eight.

"Mr. Raza, I should have guessed." Is the terse greeting from the Director of Surgery to Sahira's husband. He picks up Rafi's folder of notes, checking that all is as expected.

"Henrik," Rafi replies and Hanssen bristles at the man's informality, "you look awful."

"What are your symptoms?" Hanssen ignores the man's comment, not wishing to prolong this interaction any more than absolutely necessary.

"Nothing professional."

"Then as all is in order, we have nothing more to say, Mr. Raza. I anticipate you will be released soon. Good day." He turns to leave, his patience permanently stretched thin with regards to Rafi.

"Like I said Henrik, you look awful. Has she left you?" Hanssen turns back to face Rafi, about to remind him that he has nothing to say to him but Rafi's next words beat him to it. "I know about you two, Indy told me."

"No she hasn't." By the look on Rafi's face at Hanssen's answer, he hadn't known and was fishing for information, Hanssen curses his stupidity, blaming his tiredness.

"Oh she will. She might tell you that she loves you now, you may even believe it, after all, who knows what goes on in that head of yours, Henrik." Hanssen ignores the dig, keeping his face impassive, boredness personified in the face of Rafi's smirk. "But she'll leave you, she always does. I had a good run with her, nine years..."

The tension between the two men has become very thick, neither of them willing to back down from the other although Hanssen wishes he'd left after checking Rafi's vital signs and notes. Suddenly Hanssen realises that Nurse Lane has appeared at his elbow and checks Rafi's notes.

"How are you doing, Mr. Raza, everything ok?" Hanssen knows that the nurse can almost certainly tell that something is up between the two men but tactfully ignores it, he feels grateful at her well-timed intervention but doesn't allow it to show.

"Oh, I'll be fine," Rafi dismisses the nurse's concerns, "I have Mr. Hanssen checking up on me, what could possibly go wrong?" Hanssen frowns at Rafi's words, wondering what game the other man is playing. "Mr. Hanssen and I have known each other years, isn't that right?"

"Indeed." Hanssen mutters, 'for far too many years' he adds silently.

"In fact," Hanssen's gaze snaps back to Rafi who smirks at him and he freezes as the man leans towards the nurse, whispering conspiratorially, "we were just talking about Mr. Hanssen's new girlfriend!"

Hanssen glares at Rafi who lies back onto the pillows with a smug look on his face, enjoying the look on Hanssen's face as the nurse explodes into excited chatter. "Oh how lovely," she gushes and Hanssen cringes, "I bet she's absolutely beautiful. Oh and smart too – she'd have to be smart to keep up with you, you're a genius."

Hanssen desperately wants to make an abrupt exit from the ward and hide in his office, refusing to listen to any more but doesn't. Instead he fixes Rafi with a smirk of his own, the previous night's events and the reason he is so tired this morning providing the reason. The expression on Rafi's face falters slightly in light of the unexpected change in Hanssen as he answers the surprised nurse's questions and the tall Swede enjoys the increasingly angry look that Sahira's husband is sporting.

"Nurse Lane, a word if you'd be so kind. Mr. Raza." He places a gentle hand on the nurse's back, guiding her away from the bed as he bids good day to Rafi, confident that he won this round. Guiding her into the staff room, away from the prying eyes and ears of the ward he returns to the ever-serious Director of Surgery and the nurse worries a little, suddenly wondering if she over-stepped any lines or done something wrong.

He allays her fears, thanking her for her timely intervention, warning her to take any future information from Mr. Raza with a generous pinch of salt and makes it clear that should any word of his relationship make it onto the hospital grapevine, he would hold her responsible. "Carry on, Nurse Lane," he says kindly before sweeping from the room and the ward with the slightly arrogant walk everyone associates with him.

As he leaves the ward, he decides that he is still in need of some caffeine and heads towards the ground floor to buy some coffee. It's not a drink that he would normally drink, preferring tea but he feels in need of something a little stronger. Taking the stairs down to the ground floor, seeing that the lift is already in use he meets Sahira and Dr. Valentine heading back up the other way.

"Ah, Ms. Shah, Dr. Valentine. All going well?" He doesn't wait for an answer, instead turning back to Sahira, "Ms. Shah, I wondered if I may have a word?" Although it is phrased as a question, the younger doctor takes his cue to leave, heading back to the ward ahead of Sahira. Hanssen watches him leave, until he is certain that he is out of earshot as well as sight before relaxing from his stiff, professional posture moving to lean against the wall, transforming from Mr. Hanssen into Henrik before Sahira's eyes.

"How have you managed to look so awake?" Hanssen wonders out loud as he removes his glasses to rub his eyes and the bridge of his nose, peeking through his fingers as Sahira waves a plastic cup of something in front of him.

"These caffeinated lifesavers. I think this is my fourth one." She holds it out to him in offering and he gratefully takes a large gulp of what he realises is coffee.

"Thank you," he hands the plastic cup back to its owner.

"So did you actually want to speak with me or just get me alone on the stairwell?" He tries to look disapprovingly down at her but can't quite manage it when she waggles her eyebrows at him.

"Actually, I have been thinking about our plans. I am unfortunately behind on a report to the DOH to the extent that I will be unavailable all weekend," he pauses and reaching out takes Sahira's drink out of her hand and taking another mouthful of her coffee, ignoring her exclamation. "However," he continues smoothly.

"Given that your proclivity for hoarding has not abated in the last seventeen years, the process of moving will be an arduous one," he smirks at the expression of offence that Sahira is wearing. "To that end, may I propose that we delay by one week to next weekend?"

"As your house is bordering on empty, there will be plenty of room for my hoarded possessions. No cull necessary." He releases a long-suffering sigh which earns him a glare.

"The sacrifices I make for you..."

"Are because you love me," she finishes for him, cheekily adding a further comment. "I thought selfless self-sacrifice was an innate trait of yours anyway, Mr. Hanssen?" He raises his eyebrows at her, knowing full well that he would do almost anything that she asked of him, allowing her to fill his tidy, ordered house with her chaotic clutter was a small price to pay for having her near him all the time, he told himself.

"Lucky for you, Ms. Shah. As it is, I have already catalogued our combined furniture..."

"Of course you have," Sahira shakes her head in amusement at him, she is interrupted by her pager, frowning at it before looking up at him, apologetically.

"Go, Ms. Shah. I can wait, the patient undoubtedly cannot."

She sees him eyeing up her drink and admonishes him, "get your own coffee, Mr. Hanssen," before heading up the stairs back to Darwin, taking her drink with her as she answers the summons, aware of his eyes on her until she disappears from sight.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note: You may recognise part of this... And things aren't quite as sorted as HH may have wished. **

**This is quite a short chapter but I have most of the next chapter already written out, it seemed a good enough place to stop this one before embarking on the next part. I could have put it all in one long chapter but I find I tend to lose my focus if I do that.**

**Congratulations to Hadrians77 for getting the 50th Review :-)**

**Usual disclaimers apply; on with the show. **

Chapter 12.

At the end of her shift, Sahira makes her way up to the fifth floor, up to Hanssen's office. Hearing voices coming from inside, she surmises that he is in a meeting or a conference call of some description and decides to wait at the end of the corridor, not feeling particularly nosy. She wanders around the area at the end of the corridor a couple of times before finding a spot on the wall to lean against which has a perfect view of Hanssen's office door.

Leaning against the wall she checks her phone out of bored habit to discover that she has a message from Greg Douglas. Sahira is halfway through replying to Greg's message when Hanssen's door opens and Jac Naylor strides out and along the corridor, walking past Sahira with a smug expression which intensifies when she catches sight of Sahira.

Puzzled Sahira enters through the still open door into Hanssen's office. She sees Hanssen stood in the middle of his office, holding his tie as if it may combust in his hands. He looks almost nervous as he looks up to see who has entered his office. His gaze initially lands on her but Sahira sees his eyes flicker to the corridor just behind her before she shuts the door and his visibly relaxes.

Sahira takes in the scene in front of her and how Jac walked away but she can't seem to make the information fit any reasonable theory and so Sahira shrugs internally, dismissing her concerns. Although Hanssen is now looking at her with a bit more of a guarded expression than he normally would – Sahira assumes that it's because they're still at work – he's still holding his tie and Sahira makes her way over to him.

Reaching for his tie, Sahira pulls it out of his hand and tugs it, bringing his head down to hers before kissing him. Frowning at the total lack of response from Hanssen, Sahira takes a step back, breaking the kiss.

"Sorry, I know we're at work, but I thought..." She apologises initially but then her frown deepens as she takes in Hanssen's bemused expression, "is everything alright, Henrik?" She waves a hand in front of his eyes until he blinks and his eyes focus on her, returning to her from wherever he'd been. Sahira watches him frown a little as he obviously tries to recall her question; he correctly assumes that it was enquiring after him and he gives her a standard reply.

"I'm fine, thank you." By the time that he has sat back down at his desk and picked up a pen, he realises that Sahira is still stood there, staring at him. She can't work out what's up with him. Eventually he sighs and elaborates, knowing full-well she'll stand there until she gets a satisfactory answer. She watches him carefully, thinking that he is no doubt hoping that his answers will satisfy her curiosity. "Ms. Naylor has given me something to think about and I must get on with the report for the DoH."

Sahira sits down in a chair opposite him, "anything I can do to help?" She asks, it's a Friday night, she dislikes the idea of staying here any later than she has to but she likes the idea of Hanssen spending his weekend here instead of with her and Indy even less.

"No, go and enjoy your last weekend of freedom." His tone is light but he looks a little troubled and still quite tired. "I'm taking Monday off instead, so don't fret, Sahira."

"You'd better." Sahira frowns protectively at him, knowing that he would work all day and all night if he wasn't stopped. "Are you coming home tonight or at all this weekend?"

"I had a message from HR earlier," he ignores her question, deflecting the topic of conversation away from his weekend, "who were kind enough to inform me that I have a week of holiday from last year which I must take by the 15th February so it's been scheduled for the week after next, I can sort whatever stuff we haven't finished from the weekend." It wasn't strictly how his conversation with HR went but it's close enough and Sahira seems relieved by the development, so he lets it go.

"Right, now if you'll excuse me, I must get on or I will indeed be here all weekend." Hanssen stands and walks to the door of the office with Sahira. Holding the door shut to stop her from opening it, he quickly tilts her head towards his and kisses her chastely and his behaviour makes her smile. "I'll see you soon."

"If you need me, call my mobile, I might be going to Greg's tonight for a catch-up." She feels him stiffen and his expression turns guarded again almost immediately. He nods, seemingly reluctant to allow Mr. Douglas anywhere near her before stiffly wishing her a nice time. Sahira sighs, she hasn't got the patience for their rivalry or Hanssen's unnecessary jealousy at the moment. She kisses him once more, offering him what she hopes is a reassuring smile.

Hanssen watches her leave before retreating back behind his desk, his mind whirring, he thinks back to the situation that Sahira nearly walked in on between him and Jac and he refuses to acknowledge the flare of angry emotion that Greg's name generates in him. He sighs out loud, pinching the bridge of his nose, wishing for life to be less complicated than it seems intent on being. Thinking back to the conversation with Jac he rubs the sides of his head, trying to stave off another headache.

"Must all our conversations in this office descend into a verbal evisceration of one another? It's becoming quite tedious." Even though Hanssen tries to feign boredom and disinterest, looking at his watch. He greatly admires and enjoys their verbal sparring and he's relatively certain that the woman standing in front of him does as well.

"Only if you insist on leaping to the defence of Sahira every time you feel that Princess is threatened. How long have you blindly worshipped her?" Hanssen is expecting Sahira at any moment and doesn't want her to hear this exchange.

"Not at all, Ms. Naylor. That is not how I feel at all." Hanssen's attempt at casual deflection doesn't ring true with Jac and she presses on.

"Oh please, it's either love or nepotism. So what is she to you, your girlfriend or your daughter?" He can see Jac trying to ignore the image that's presented in her mind. "Whatever your motivation, it's quite something, the lengths you'll go to for her."

"Jealousy doesn't suit you Ms. Naylor, although you wear it well – years of practice perhaps? Talking of practice, do you hear from Mr. Byrne at all these days?"

"This isn't about me; it's about you and Princess, so which is it?" Jac fires back, they both know that deflection was poor as soon as she opened her mouth but it'll have to do. She's moved on from Joseph, part of her still loves him but he's gone. Jac has her eyes on a new man and she usually gets what she wants from them.

"Neither, thank you. Ms. Shah is an old friend." Hanssen's eyes gleam as he spots an opening. "It's most certainly not nepotism, my health is satisfactory, besides I do not currently require a kidney." It's a low blow and they both know it.

Jac's mouth becomes a hard line and Hanssen is content to let her walk away, knowing he's won this round when she turns around by the door and pauses before casually mentioning "Well, if you're certain, I'll have to go an inform the betting pool then. A shame, there was a lot of money staked on that one."

Hanssen's face pales and his expression becomes blanker than Jac has ever seen it and with that she smirks and strides out of the office without shutting his office door. 'Betting pool' he thinks weakly and sighs, getting up to close the door. A few seconds later and Hanssen is halfway across the room to the door when someone walks in through it "Ah, Ms... Naylor, again. What a pleasant surprise." He adds sarcastically.

"Expecting Princess? I think she'll be a while, Greg had her in his grasp last I saw and she didn't seem to mind." She searches Hanssen's face closely and is gratified to see a reaction to her statement, a slight narrowing of his eyes. 'Excellent' she thinks.

Jac knows that her concerns, what she originally came here for, have been lost in the insults but she's damned if she's not going to finish this, if she's going to be beaten, she wants to go down fighting. She moves closer to him and watches with amusement the realisation that he doesn't currently have his desk as a protective barrier, he can either tolerate the invasion or concede the space to her. He decides to hold his ground but looks off balance, uncertain as Jac draws closer to him.

"One final question. Do you make it a habit of kissing all your registrars in this office or only Ms. Shah?" Hanssen is not expecting that question, he isn't certain whether Jac is fishing for information or whether she's winding him up; he's still debating how to approach that question when Jac closes the distance between them and pulls his tie, bringing his head down to hers.

He's expecting her to kiss him and is surprised when she doesn't. "Have a think about it. I'll be back." With that she releases his tie and walks back out of the office without looking back at the tall Swede. She leaves again without shutting the door but Hanssen doesn't really pay attention to that, his attention has been captured by his tie and he holds it in one hand, not sure what to make of it. He's still staring at his tie when there's a noise at the doorway and he looks up to see Sahira stood in the doorway.

Hanssen spends the next hour after Sahira has left staring into the middle distance of his office, lost in thought. Ms. Naylor has indeed given him something to think about and he doesn't like the situation in the slightest. He is incredibly thankful that Sahira didn't walk in on the scene that Jac caused, he can imagine all too well the effect that would have upon his and Sahira's relationship, especially with it still tentatively rebuilding itself.

His computer pings, signalling the arrival of an email in his inbox which attracts Hanssen's attention, breaking his focus away from his thoughts. The email is from Mr. Hemingway, forwarding some research data which Hanssen had expressed an interest in looking over. He gives the message a cursory glance before minimising the window, not interested in the data attached to the message at the moment. Forcing his focus back to his report, Hanssen gathers his thoughts, burying all but the immediately relevant and begins to type.

He worked almost constantly for the next couple of hours, pausing only to retrieve a different file and to get himself a drink, using the opportunity to stretch his legs. Having completed the first two sections of the report, Hanssen looks at his watch and decides to call it a night, wanting to head back to Sahira's whilst telling himself that the report will, unfortunately, still be there in the morning.

He gets into his car and drives back to Sahira's, the journey taking a little longer than normal, he feels tired and has no desire to be involved in an accident. All the lights are off except for one in the living room when Hanssen lets himself in to the house and he wanders through, checking the windows and doors for himself before heading upstairs. Crawling into bed, Hanssen tries not to wake Sahira when he moulds himself to her, pressing a gentle kiss to her hair before almost instantly falling asleep.

Hanssen is up and gone by the time that Sahira wakes up on Saturday morning, she'd vaguely been aware of him getting up at some point but she was too intent on enjoying a rare lie in to pay much attention. He doesn't return until the evening looking tired and acting as if he has a headache. It's the first time Indy has seen him in ten days and he is determined to play with him, to make up for their lost playing time; Hanssen shoots Sahira a grateful look when she scoops Indy up off Hanssen, taking the boy up to bed.

Hanssen spent the weekend in his office at the hospital typing up his report for the DoH, only returning to Sahira's in the evenings to sleep. On Sunday evening Sahira watches him pick at his dinner, moving it around the plate, almost willing it to disappear, obviously not hungry. Sahira frowns but doesn't say anything as she rummages through a drawer until she finds some tablets and sets them down in front of Hanssen, along with a glass of water.

Not long after dinner, Hanssen goes in to the living room and flops down on the sofa, Sahira following him a few minutes later. By the time that she makes it into the other room, he is already under the spare blanket and close to falling asleep. Sahira turns off the overhead lights, leaving only a lamp on in the corner of the room. She feels a little guilty for making him move but after an annoyed sigh he complies, sitting up so that she can settle herself behind him, propped up against the cushions and arm of the sofa.

She pulls him back against her body, her legs on either side of him, pulling the blanket back up over his torso, Sahira runs her hands over his shoulders, offering a gentle massage. She removes his glasses with one hand before joining the other as they trail up his neck to his scalp and temples, rubbing the tension away.

Sahira can feel Hanssen relaxing and a minute later he falls asleep under her ministrations, she detects the change in his breathing but continues for a few more minutes. Finding that she can't move without waking him she presses a kiss to the top of his head before drifting to sleep herself.

Hanssen spends a good portion of Monday morning in bed, relishing the opportunity to have a lie in. He'd woken up on the sofa feeling relaxed, if a little stiff from spending a whole night on a sofa that is just a little too small for him. He had gone to get up, to make his way up to bed and his movements had woken Sahira whom he was curled up under a blanket with, who had grumbled good-naturedly about being too old to sleep on sofas as they stiffly made their way upstairs.

He'd been unable to entice Sahira into joining him back in bed before she had to officially get up to go to work; however he had managed to convince Indy to jump in bed instead of jumping on him like a lunatic as was his wont in the mornings and now the boy was fast asleep again. He is aware that the last time he found himself in this situation, he thought that Sahira had been killed and he is, for the most part, incredibly thankful for how things turned out.

Having discovered that Sahira has taken his laptop with her, deliberately, he suspects, Hanssen spends the rest of the day either pottering around the house, making a list for things for packing or discarding or playing with Indy and his toys, commandeering the majority of the living room floor and several cushions for their game.

The rest of the week passes in a blur, Sahira was on night shifts on Tuesday and Wednesday and so they were unable to see much of one another. On Tuesday Hanssen had wanted to get home early before Sahira's shift started but his board meeting had overrun to the extent that in the end Sahira had come to his office with Indy and the two of them had gone home, he'd stolen a quick kiss and been annoyed by the needless prattling of some of the board members which had cost him an hour at home with Sahira and Indy.

Mid-morning on Thursday and Hanssen was in the process of heading back to his office from AAU having spoken to Mr. Hemingway about his research and its progression. Heading along the corridor outside his office, he spots Sahira waiting for him with Indy, dressed in her everyday clothes biting her lip. He frowns a little, wondering why she is here, as far as he is aware, she was on her way to pick up Indy from her mother's.

"Ah, Ms. Shah," he opens the door and follows her into the office, shutting it before continuing the conversation as Henrik rather than Mr. Hanssen, picking up the boy at his insistence and using the opportunity to briefly examine him, he is relieved to see that all appears well. Hanssen allows some of his nervousness at her obvious unease show. "Is there a problem, Sahira?"

She looks down at the carpet and his heart sinks as she speaks. "There's had to be a slight change of plan..."


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: It's not _that_ bad a thing, although...**

**Usual disclaimers apply. Thanks for all the feedback as always – you guys are all amazing :-)**

**Hope you all had a lovely Christmas and are ready for the new year.**

Chapter 13.

"_There's had to be a change of plan."_

Sahira can feel the slump in Hanssen's body as she moves to stand next to him, arms snaking around him with Indy sandwiched between them. He'd hidden it well, masking it with an exhale whilst keeping his expression neutral. Sahira knows that although he is the smartest man she knows, he has almost certainly reached the wrong conclusion, his thought processes programmed to believe the worst in any personal situation and she hurries to explain before he retreats away behind his mask and she can't coax him back out at all.

"No, not that, our weekend plans are still very much set in stone, you are not getting out of it, mister." She teases him lightly and she feels him relax under her hands and she continues to softly kneed the muscles in his back, the action calming him. "If you'll still have us, we are definitely moving in."

"I am glad to hear that. However, will I actually wish to be made aware of the details of this change of plan, Ms. Shah?"

'Probably not' she thinks to herself as he leans down and plants a soft, quick kiss on her nose before straightening up. The action makes Indy giggle and Sahira watches the two of them exchange a knowing look with a soft smile on her face. Not for the first time, she is thrilled by the way their relationship has developed.

"My mother wanted me and Indy to come over this weekend," the small smile he had been wearing began to fade and Sahira could see he was preparing himself for some kind of rejection, "but I told her I was busy, and she..."

"And she wanted to know what it was that was so important that you were going to neglect your poor mother?" Hanssen mimics, his voice raising a few octaves and he smiles at Sahira's obviously stunned expression as she mutely nods. She stares at him, wondering how he was able to so accurately guess her mother's response. He seems to follow her train of thought. "I've had to put up with seventeen years of your impressions of your mother, Sahira. I take it she forced the information out of you and now she wants to 'help'?"

Sahira looks away again, her gaze focussed on Indy. "It's worse than that." She mumbles.

"I fail to see how it could be worse..." Hanssen responds lightly but Sahira doesn't react how he obviously hoped she would and she watches his expression change from amused to uncertain and after a few more seconds settles on a mixture of concerned and resigned. He looks down at Sahira and she is careful to keep her gaze on him.

"You've not met my mother..." She begins and initially Hanssen doesn't understand what that has to do with anything until Sahira continues, "and she hasn't met you."

He remains silent for a moment, frowning, trying to work out the issue. After a few moments he capitulates, "So?"

"So she insists on meeting the man I'm about to start living with." He has the annoying feeling that he's missing something vital here.

"Okay," he doesn't like it but he appreciates this is something he'll have to concede to keep the peace in the Shah family. Not that he particularly wants to be sociable and meet Sahira's parents but he wisely keeps that view to himself. "How about in a week or so, when we're settled..."

"No."

"No?" He is about to ask whether Sahira's mother wants to meet him or not but she beats him to the punch.

"No." Sahira sighs, shaking her head. "She insists on meeting you before we _move in_. I neglected to mention that we have been as good as living together for months now." He closes his eyes.

"I think she wants to convince herself you're not going to be like Rafi." His immediate response is to be offended and he is afraid of squeezing Indy too tightly so he puts the boy down who runs over to examine the silver fish on his desk.

"I'm not! Even if I was, what difference would she make?" Sahira doesn't answer and Hanssen swallows his annoyance as he realises something. "Today is Thursday and we're moving your stuff at the weekend, this 'meeting' could only really happen..."

"Tonight." Sahira supplies.

"But..." Hanssen doesn't complete his sentence, visions of their evening slipping away from him. He wanted to spend their final night 'apart' together, have an early-ish night and catch up on the time they've missed out on over the past few days. After a few more seconds of deliberation, he mentally sighs, conceding the evening to Sahira's mother. Keeping his face blank, he asks, "what time are we expected?"

Pleased at the grateful look she shoots him, he doesn't mind when she rises onto her toes to kiss him and he instantly responds. "Around seven. I'll make it up to you, Henrik."

'It's hardly something which needs to be made up for' he thinks, Hanssen didn't have any concrete plans, just a desire to be near her, which, he tells himself can still achieve under the unfortunate scrutiny of Sahira's parents. However, he can't deny the voice which tells him that he's intrigued by what she has in mind to make it up to him.

"And just how do you intend to accomplish that, Ms. Shah?" Although his words are formal, his cadence and expression belie his anticipation, making Sahira smile.

"Well, Mr. Hanssen," Sahira easily slips into a mock professional approach when she begins to outline her plans and Hanssen finds the contrast between her tone and words most interesting

Hanssen looks up briefly to check where Indy is and is pleased that the boy's attention is still fixed on the silver fish, "that would be a good initial assessment of the needs of your 'patient'."

"That would be followed by a series of tests in order to establish the severity of the patient's discomfort and which approach would be best for treatment of the patient's condition. With the patient's approval, of course." Hanssen allows a small smirk to appear on his face, amused by Sahira's approach.

"Consent granted; what next?" He takes half a step towards her and has to stop himself from reaching out to her.

"It would have to be administering said cure until the patient showed signs of recovery. Perhaps a final test?"

"And what if it was still inconclusive?"

"I'd have to start the process again until I got it right; my boss is a bit of a perfectionist you see." He inhales sharply at the first part of Sahira's response, possibilities flittering through his mind. The second half of the sentence stops his imagination running away with him and he frowns, although amused by Sahira's gentle jab.

"Your tone suggests that could be a bad thing. Care to elaborate, Ms. Shah?" Only too late he realises that he is setting himself up to be teased.

"Perfectionist, slave driver, same thing really." His gaze which had drifted over to Indy again snaps round to meet her amused stare and he raises his eyebrows and advances towards her. Sahira smiles and backs away from him playfully until they reach the conference table at the far side of the room.

"Perfectionist?" If Sahira didn't know better, she'd guess that Hanssen was upset by her comment and as he stands between her and the conference table, effectively pinning her in place his expression is bordering on unreadable. Impulsively, Sahira tugs on his tie, bringing his head down towards hers – he's too tall otherwise.

"Yes. It means. You. Are brilliant." Sahira answers, sandwiching each comment with a kiss. The comment has its intended effect and she can almost see his ego re-inflating.

After Sahira and Indy have left his office, returning back to their house, Hanssen spends the next few minutes staring out of the window of his office, looking over part of the sprawling hospital building. He concedes that Sahira's 'change in plan' could have been worse, not that he feels overjoyed at the prospect of being judged by Sahira's parents the night before they're due to start moving when the state of the packing is not as complete as he would wish, Sahira's innate lack of organisation clashing with his approach. He sighs and then sends his pager a withering glance when it beeps at him, demanding attention.

He finds himself back on Keller in the middle of a dispute between a teenage patient's mother and Mr. Malick. Sighing to himself, Hanssen strides onto the ward and up to a nurse who points him to a bed at the far end of the ward which has had its curtains pulled closed around it.

He steps behind the curtain to be immediately confronted by the mother of the patient, the patient who is embarrassedly trying to reason with them but failing and Mr. Malick who is rapidly losing his patience. His arrival isn't noticed straight away and he stares at the scene for a moment, feeling the dull ache in his temples begin to pound, he resists the urge to rub them and instead turns to the mother and stopping her words mid-rant he makes his own feelings known.

"My name is Hanssen, I am the Director of Surgery here; I have not been summoned to be shouted at so if you do not cease, I will have security remove you from the ward." His words seem to have an effect and the woman's borderline hysterical rants cease much to his (and undoubtedly the rest of the ward's) relief. "Thank you. Now, what seems to be the problem?"

It took twenty painful minutes to sort out the issue and he is frustrated that his presence wasn't necessary. The patient had consented to an operation which the mother didn't understand and therefore objected to but when she was informed that the mother's objections were overruled by the patient being of age and having already consented, she understandably went ballistic. With a little explanation the issue was resolved and as he leaves with Mr. Malick, Hanssen does not hesitate to inform him of his shortcomings and strides off with a glare. Hanssen supposes he should feel glad that the situation was not more serious but he can't help but feel it was a waste of everyone's time in the end.

He heads into the staffroom, shutting the door behind him and moves to the sink area, not noticing the other occupant of the room and pours himself a glass of water. Taking a big gulp of the drink, he lets his head drop, his chin touching the top of his chest and he finally gives into the temptation to rub his eyes and his temples, hoping to relieve the pressure there.

"Are you alright?" The unexpected question makes Hanssen jerk round to see who has addressed him and he narrowly misses hitting his head on the cupboards in front of him as he straightens up. His eyes settle on Nurse Lane sitting on one of the soft chairs in the corner of the room with an opened lunch box. He groans at his misfortune, not wanting to be subjected to her high-pitched babbling right now.

Unfortunately the nurse hears his soft groan and mistakes it. "Oh, that headache doesn't sound so good, I've got some tablets in my bag, sit down and I'll get them for you." She gets up and crosses the room to her locker and produces a pack of ibuprofen, turning back she sees that the unmistakably tall figure of the Director of Surgery hasn't moved. Chantelle cheerfully shepherds him into a seat, ignoring his protest, treating him as she would a reluctant patient. Handing him the pack of tablets and a new drink she waves away his thanks and quietly resumes her lunch, not sure what to make of the expression on his face.

After about a minute of silence, the nurse feels a little uncomfortable and feels obliged to fill the silence. "Do you often get headaches, Mr. Hanssen? I imagine you would, running the hospital and having to deal with all..." She catches sight of Hanssen out of the corner of her eyes and she snaps her mouth shut, wondering if he'll shout at her and leave.

To her surprise he stays seated and answers her. "My biggest headache are people who talk entirely too much." He confides with wry amusement.

"Oh," Replies the nurse, wondering if he means someone like Mr. Spence but not wanting to ask. "My mum always says that people who don't drink enough get headaches and that people should drink more water..." She carries on talking, initially oblivious to the way her silent companion sighs and closes his eyes in despair.

He tunes her out, until he becomes aware of her calling his name and he belatedly realises that she's discovered his inattention. He sighs imperceptibly, politely asking her to repeat what she just said.

"So is it hospital business that given you this headache?"

"Not entirely" He's thinking and takes a moment to answer but the nurse takes his pause as an answer in itself.

"Oh, personal then." Hanssen hopes that the nurse will drop her inquiries at the realisation but finds that today is not his lucky day. "Is it your girlfriend? Is everything alright?"

"It is of no concern, Nurse Lane." He glances at her to see the young nurse looking worriedly at him and he mentally rolls his eyes, annoyed rather than soothed by her obvious concern for him. "She and I are fine. It is her mother and father who are the source of this headache."

"Oh, so is it like meet the parents then?" He frowns a little, wondering if all women are able to pick up little details like that or whether it's just the ones he works with.

"Like maybe." He mimics, not certain why he's still in the room, let alone talking about his plans this evening to meet Sahira's parents to an agency nurse.

"Oh, I remember the last time I did that, it didn't go well." She looks downbeat for a moment before beaming at him again, "so when is it?"

"Tonight apparently."

"Oh, you'll be fine, Mr. Hanssen, you can charm them. I'm sure they'll love you, after all, you're sophisticated and clever and quite..." Chantelle snaps her mouth shut for the second time, aware that she was about to tell him that he is quite handsome and she tells herself that would have been definitely inappropriate.

She sees Hanssen looking at her curiously, no doubt wondering about why she topped talking. She feels the urge to explain and immediately wishes that she hadn't said anything. "I mean, you aren't really as bad as everyone says you are."

"What a relief." Hanssen replies in a flat tone of voice and he can see the nurse cringe at her choice of words – the flicker of emotion across her face readily apparent as he stands. He waves away her apology, telling her that he has had far worse said to him and meant, bidding her a good day before pausing as he reaches the door to the ward.

"Need I remind you, Nurse Lane about the consequences for gossiping about my relationship?" He channels his 'Mr. Hanssen' persona and watches dispassionately as the nurse gulps.

"I haven't said anything to anyone and I won't." He scrutinises her for a moment longer before nodding, expression relaxing and sweeping out of the room.

Hanssen escapes back to his office and is glad of the solitude, turning the blinds just enough so that the room becomes dimmer and combined with the tablets that Nurse Lane gave him, he feels the tension begin to recede.

It's mid afternoon and nearly a quarter of an hour since Hanssen finished his late lunch, the food itself and an hour spent dozing on the sofa in his office have combined to rid him of his headache. As a result, he is signing off on a couple of research proposals which require his attention before he takes his week off next week.

The first is from Oliver Valentine and Hanssen is pleased to note that he has not acquired the attitude to research proposals that his mentor, Jac Naylor, has and that it is less painful to read. Satisfied with what has been proposed, Hanssen signs the triplicate cover sheet before filing the top copy away, ready to return to the F2. He is just returning to his desk to begin reading the second proposal, from a doctor in paediatrics when his pager beeps, demanding his presence one more on Keller ward.

Sighing, Hanssen looks at his pager and at the second proposal lying unopened on his desk. His pager beeps once more and he turns, making his way out of his office and reluctantly to the ward. He is greeted by Nurse Lane.

"Mr. Hanssen, Mr. Malick is in theatre one." Hanssen doesn't reply but nods and heads in the direction of the theatre. Looking through the observation window, Hanssen can see the disaster which is in danger of unfolding. Cursing to himself, Hanssen changes quickly into some scrubs, not in his office for the first time in years, not caring what would happen if someone walked in and saw the scars which adorn his torso.

He scrubs in as quickly as he can and takes over from an uncharacteristically quiet Malick. The patient is in a bad way and the Director of Surgery immediately takes charge, simultaneously trying to keep the patient alive, listening to information from the nurses and Mr. Malick, trying to work out what's wrong with the patient and deciding on the best course of action to proceed.

After a stressful five minutes, Hanssen is quite relieved when the monitors and machines stop blaring and a quietness settles over the theatre, any panic ebbing away. He finally feels confident enough that the patient is stable enough to allow to take his eyes off the man lying in front of him.

He turns to a theatre assistant, beckoning them over. "I need you to contact Ms. Shah from Darwin on her mobile – I have a meeting with her later and may be delayed here in theatre." The man disappears after nodding, to make the call. As much as he would love to get out of the undoubtedly awkward meeting tonight, he wouldn't dream of letting Sahira down like that. He hopes she will be understanding and able to placate her parents when he doesn't arrive by 7pm.

He returns his focus to his patient and Malick and when the younger surgeon suggests "a resection?", Hanssen is forced to reluctantly concede. "It'll take hours though, what about your meeting, Mr. Hanssen?" Hanssen looks up briefly.

"Scalpel please. Ms. Shah will wait, it isn't the first time that emergency theatre has delayed a meeting." They work diligently for a while, only speaking when necessary.

"Mr. Malick, do you have an explanation for the scene I witnessed at the viewing window?" He can see that Malick knows what he is referring to and doesn't require clarification and is carefully choosing his words. Eventually he settles on blunt.

"He is a convicted rapist..." although Hanssen can't see much of Malick's face, but from the minor distortions of his face mask, he imagines that he is still working out how to continue his explanation. When no words are forthcoming after nearly a minute, he decides to close the matter for the moment.

"I see. Fluoroproline please." Hanssen doesn't say anything further on the matter until Malick responds.

"Mr. Hanssen?" Hanssen looks tiredly through his glasses over his face mask at the surgeon opposite him.

"A discussion for another time, tomorrow morning. Let us concentrate on the job in hand, please." Part of him is surprised by the gentleness of his response to the situation but resolves to take his own advice and think about it later, once the operation is over and he will undoubtedly get all the information tomorrow.

It's just gone 7:00pm by the time that Hanssen and Malick wearily exit the operating theatre, operation complete. Hanssen has put his watch on and frowns at the time, the rest of his clothing bundled in his arms. He turns to the shorter man and informs him that he'll be expected at 10:30am the next morning and without waiting for a response, Hanssen strides away in the direction of his office.

Trying to work out how long it will take him to get changed, finish the second research proposal, leave the hospital, fight his way across Holby and get to Sahira's parents' house and exhales frustratedly, not the best first impression.

"Not now!" Hanssen curtly turns away someone who had approached him, not registering who it was, let alone what they wanted from him. Eating up the distance to his office with long strides, Hanssen finds his phone in a pocket and rings Sahira to apologise and let her know he'll be on his way shortly.

He doesn't turn on the lights in his office as he enters, not wanting anyone to know he is still here and delay him any further, using the ambient light from the rest of the hospital to assist him, changing from his scrubs back into his suit. As he is retying his tie, Hanssen's gaze falls on the second research proposal on his desk and after a quick glance at his watch, decides to put it in his briefcase so he can read it after this evening's event has concluded.

Hanssen initially drives a little more aggressively than he would normally, until he finds that the traffic in Holby is quite light this evening and he releases some of the tension in his body, perhaps he won't be as late as he feared. In the end it is about 7:40 by the time Hanssen pulls up next to Sahira's car, outside her parents' house.

Cutting the engine, he remains seated in the driver's seat for a moment, taking a deep breath and preparing himself for the inevitable frustration of the rest of his evening. Resigned, he steps out of the car, locking it before heading over to the front door. He presses the doorbell, waiting for it to open to admit him. He assumes that someone had seen him pull up or was near the door because it opens almost immediately and he is relieved that it's Sahira who answers the door.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Woo hoo! Just caught up on the Christmas Holby episode and beyond glad to see the back of Imelda Cousins. *does a little dance***

**Erm... anyway, sorry this took a little while to post, I've had a couple of ideas spring into my mind and haven't quite been able to write this without writing those. I hope to post one before Tuesday's episode but we'll see. And here is the next chapter – enjoy.**

**If you have any feedback, please drop me a comment :-) thank you all for the feedback so far – much appreciated. Usual disclaimers too.**

Chapter 14.

Sahira and Indy arrive about ten minutes before seven and for the first few minutes Indy steals the attention of his grandparents, telling them all about something or other, Sahira isn't really listening, instead wondering where Hanssen is. She's had no word from him since a theatre assistant rang her mid afternoon to tell her that her 'staff meeting' with Hanssen would be delayed. She had almost given the game away by telling the man that she didn't have a meeting scheduled with the Director of Surgery but thankfully her brain engaged in time and she realised what Hanssen meant.

"Where is this Henrik?" Her father asks at a couple of minutes before seven and Sahira isn't sure what to make of his tone. Her father had never really been overly bothered by punctuality, perpetually ten minutes late himself to everything as long as she's known him but he seems content to use this as an excuse to mark Hanssen down already and she hopes the evening won't turn into a point scoring exercise.

Normally Sahira wouldn't be concerned about Hanssen holding his own in any kind of professional discussion, however this situation was sprung on him quite suddenly and although to others it may appear as if Hanssen is ready for anything, the reality is that he needs time to prepare and that with the demands on his time, he won't have had the opportunity today. Especially for something as personal as being introduced to the parents of your partner.

She suspects that Hanssen isn't sure how to act in this situation and will therefore allow things to be said that he would normally respond by delivering a scathing put down, his apparent lack of reaction leaving himself vulnerable in her parents' eyes.

Sahira tries to convince herself that deep down that her father's posturing is an attempt at protecting their daughter but she realises it's more likely an attempt to alienate Henrik so that they can provide the support she needs themselves, convinced of their own suitability for the job. She counts to ten before answering, in an attempt to calm herself and tries not to smirk when she notices that her internal voice sounds suspiciously like the Swede.

"He was required to do an emergency surgery this afternoon, it's a long procedure: with the damage to the bowel, it requires partial or total removal and live tissue needs to be taken from..." Sahira doesn't actually know what operation it was but figured that anything bowel-related would be enough to end the discussion.

"Hmmm, that's fine dear." Her mother cuts her off, not wanting to hear the details before dinner. "Do we know how long he'll be, dinner won't last forever." This time, the conversation is cut off by Sahira's phone ringing and she's relieved to see Hanssen's name on the display.

"Ah, that's Henrik now. Excuse me." She moves off into the other room, glad to be away from her parents so she can speak to him. When she hangs up and returns to the living room, both parents are staring at her expectantly. "He got out of theatre a few minutes ago and will be on his way in as soon as he can. If the traffic is good, hopefully he'll be about half an hour."

"Listen, before he arrives," Sahira begins, chancing a quick look at Indy to check he is still playing, wanting to tell her parents of the 'rules' or conditions of this evening before one of them caused a scene. "He is only coming over here tonight because I asked him to and he is under no obligation to stay so if you insult him, he will leave and we will leave with him." She can see her father bristle and continues speaking before he can interrupt and become difficult.

"Regardless of what is said or done tonight or your opinion of him, Indy and I will be moving in with him because I love him and Indy loves him too. He is not Rafi and in nearly twenty years he has never given any clue that he would dream of turning into Rafi." She doesn't mention that Henrik would hurt himself rather than hurt her and was hurt for her, before they were together. Hanssen had never told her it was Rafi who attacked him in the car park but she was capable of putting two and two together.

"There are certain topics of conversation which should not be brought up. Partly because he won't want to talk about them but also because he will feel he has to tell you if you ask and some details you do not want to know."

"Okay, what should we avoid?" Sahira looks at her mother, pleased that she seems to be acknowledging Sahira's instructions. Her defence of the Swede has obviously struck a chord with her and she feels a flash of relief as she outlines a couple of topics. Her father doesn't respond and Sahira hopes that means that he will behave himself.

"Here he is." Sahira had been watching out of the window for the familiar black Volvo and is pleased when it pulls up next to her car. She makes her way to the front door just as the doorbell rings and she opens it almost immediately.

The sudden influx of light makes him squint but she sees the moment that he recognises her, he radiates relief and she ushers him in. "Hi." She greets him. "You made good time, considering." She tells him as she takes his coat and hangs it up next to the door.

"I apologise for the delay." She waves away his apology, stealing a quick kiss from him before quietly telling him that her parents were aware he would be a little later than planned and not to worry about it.

He is barely two steps in the door behind Sahira when Indy runs over and jumps at him, desperate to be picked up. Sahira smiles as she looks at her babbling son in Hanssen's arms and hopes this entrance will improve her parents' outlook. He follows her over to her parents and performs the introductions.

"Can I get you something to drink, Henrik?" Sahira's mum asks, falling back into a typical mothers' role, "Tea, coffee, something stronger?" Sahira narrows her eyes a little and intervenes.

"Well, I'll have a tea because I'm driving and so is Henrik. Is tea ok, Henrik, or a cold drink?" He meets her gaze for a moment, his eyes softening a little behind his glasses.

"A tea, if you would be so kind." Although Hanssen is looking at Sahira, it is her mother who answers.

"Of course. Milk and sugar?"

"Milk, no sugar, thank you, Mrs. Shah." Hanssen responds politely, shifting his gaze away from Sahira to her mother. They settled down to wait for Sahira's mum to return with the drinks, Sahira sits next to Hanssen on one of the sofas. He had picked the one closer to the front door and Sahira wonders if he picked this seat deliberately and squeezes his knee affectionately and is dismayed by the tension she feels in his leg.

Sahira's father sits on one of the armchairs, leaving the second armchair for her mother to sit on when she returns. Mindful of her absence, no-one is quite aware of what to say and so settle for awkwardly watching Indy play on the carpet between them. Indy, oblivious to the tension above and around him plays on.

"Is that a new toy, Indy?" Her father eventually asks and Sahira feels Hanssen stiffen even further beside her. The boy looks up and beams, displaying his toy for his audience.

"Daddy gave it to me." Indy stands and shows his grandfather the toy giraffe proudly.

"An interesting choice from Rafi." Sahira's father says pointedly over Indy's head at the two of them.

"It wasn't Rafi's present." Sahira doesn't feel any satisfaction at the confusion on her father's face, not sure how this revelation will go down.

"But the boy said..."

"Yes, I heard what he said," Sahira agrees with a quick look at Hanssen next to her. He was looking at the wall, impassively and so she presses ahead, giving his knee another squeeze. "It was a Christmas present from Henrik."

"I know," she cuts off her father before he can point out the obvious 'mistake'. "Indy adores Henrik and he has been more of a father to him than Rafi ever was."

"But..." Sahira's father doesn't seem to want to give Hanssen a chance and Sahira is at least relieved that her mother is trying to be supportive.

"It was Indy's decision to refer to me as such and I am honoured." The tone of the comment is pure Hanssen and designed to effectively end her father's objection. His words surprise Sahira and she beams at him. 'Thank you' she mouths and he nods at her, a slight upturn of the edge of her lover's mouth a relief to see, his expression had been inscrutable and she wasn't sure how he was feeling.

"Oh." The three adults fall into silence again, content to let Indy and his antics attempt to fill the silence. It's threatening to become a long evening and Sahira regrets acceding to her mother's demands to meet Hanssen.

A long couple of minutes later, Sahira's mother reappears with four cups of tea and some kind of juice for Indy. Having distributed the drinks to the appropriate parties, she settles next to her husband on the second armchair opposite Sahira and Hanssen.

"Dinner will be ready in a couple of minutes." Dinner itself turns out to be a relatively simple affair; fish, potatoes and spinach and once they are sat and settled at the table, the interrogation begins.

It was an interrogation, at least it descended into one. It had started off amiably enough, acceptable queries by both parents asking how the two had met, their jobs, any shared interests. By the time that the food was cleared away, it had become an inquisition. The questions had become more personal and Sahira saw that Hanssen was beginning to look openly uncomfortable, if not a little hunted with the direction the evening was taking.

After a question about Hanssen's own family, one of the expressly verboten topics, Sahira decides she's had enough and is amazed that Hanssen has tolerated as much of this as he has. She stands up suddenly and turns to Hanssen and her son.

"Indy, go and play with Daddy while Grandma and Grandpa and I tidy up." Her son doesn't need any further encouragement to play with Hanssen and nearly drags him out of the kitchen by his hand. She deliberately refers to Henrik as Daddy and internally smirks at her own Dad's expression. Neither of her two boys need to hear what she is about to say to her parents and once they've left, she shuts the door behind them and turns back to the other two occupants of the room.

Hanssen obediently followed Indy out of the kitchen into the living room, the boy's hand feeling very small in his own larger hand and he suspects that both he and Indy recognise Sahira's tone and don't wish to be subject to it, glad of the excuse to escape. He is sat down on the same sofa as earlier, feeling a bit out of place and awkward. The initial interrogation part of the evening appears to be over, much to his relief; he'd hated every tense moment of that period.

Sahira was still in the kitchen with her parents, under the guise of clearing away dinner but Hanssen was more than aware that it was not the sole reason – the closed kitchen door and slightly raised voices would attest to that. He had little doubt that Sahira was unimpressed by her father's behaviour, judging by the way that she had reacted to some of the questions fired at them. Hanssen found the idea of her openly and loudly defending him to her parents both uncomfortable and arousing.

He is no stranger to the dislike of others and Sahira's parents' – particularly her father's – apparent dislike of him does not bother him, they are merely two more names on a list he has little interest in. What does almost bother him is the seemingly vital importance that Sahira has attributed to him and to their relationship and he is definitely unused to being needed personally rather than professionally.

It was why he was still sat here, albeit reluctantly and letting two strangers pick at his past, current and future intentions. It was why he had endured the evening and answered questions that bothered him, even though they had no real right to expect any answers. He knew what this rite of passage meant to Sahira, hopefully the experience wouldn't need repeating for several months, if ever again.

Hanssen would do anything to keep her with him, he concedes that it probably isn't a psychologically healthy approach to have but he knew he had been in danger of falling for her within two weeks of meeting her. Seventeen years later and although there have been some rough patches, he doesn't really regret falling for her, she has improved his life immeasurably just by being there and treating him as a human being, as her friend rather than purely Mr. Hanssen, consultant doctor extraordinaire. Since their relationship has progressed, he feels indebted to her in a way that he knows he will never be able to repay, although he imagines if he ever told her this that she'd counter that there is no score being kept. Despite that, he can't think of much that he wouldn't do for her if she asked him.

He isn't sure when he became utterly overwhelmed and lost, too many incidents. Nothing overtly obvious, most of his significant memories were small enough that she probably had no idea of their significance, combined with the stunned realisation that she seemed to love him and wasn't horrified by his scars. The only woman who was _there_ and consistently there for and with him, no wonder he worshipped her. The same woman who is now defending him to her own family.

"Look, Daddy!" Hanssen's attention snaps backs from the kitchen door he'd been unconsciously studying to Indy who is suddenly trying to climb up into his lap. Hanssen uncrosses his legs, helping Sahira's son up. At this moment, the kitchen door opens and Sahira's father re-enters the living room, Hanssen immediately glances up, shooting a quick look at the other man who is eyeing him and his grandson critically but remains silent until he is seated. Hanssen's attention turns back to Indy, deliberately dismissing the other man.

The living room is quiet, neither man willing to break the silence until Sahira's father huffs and concedes, speaking dejectedly. "All parents have dreams and hopes for their children, Henrik." Hanssen doesn't reply but does shift his gaze to the other man, waiting for him to continue. "What happened with Rafi was certainly not what we wanted for her."

"And neither am I." Hanssen observes, trying not to sound defensive. "Most understandable."

"You have to understand, from our perspective, she left Rafi and moved onto you very quickly." Hanssen frowns a little, wondering how he could explain how platonic their relationship was until relatively recently. He remains silent, deciding that no parent really wants to know about that particular facet of their children's relationships, in the same way that the reverse is true. Thankfully, he is spared having to answer as Sahira's father continues to speak.

"Both Sahira and her mother want me to apologise for my questions but I won't apologise for doing what I can to keep her out of harm. I can see now that I made a mistake with Rafi and I won't do so again. I was too quick to accept him before." Hanssen considers the man's words, he can imagine Sahira's strenuous insistence of an apology and has to fight to hide his smirk. "This time, I want to be sure..."

"I am not certain that I would accept an apology in the circumstances." He sees the flash of wounded pride cross the other man's face at his words. "After all, I agree entirely with your motivations – apologising for your beliefs would be nonsensical. Should this situation have degenerated to picking sides, rest assured, we are on the same team. That of Sahira and of Indy's." He spares a quick look to the boy in his arms and softly smiles when he realises that the boy has fallen asleep in Hanssen's arms, stuffed giraffe clasped tightly.

Sahira and her mother exit the kitchen and return to the living room not long after to find both men awkwardly trying to make small talk, talking about something or other; their conversation stops as they realise, relieved, the other two have returned. Sahira sighs to herself – she had hoped that her words in the kitchen would have had more of a positive effect, a more noticeable one but she supposes that progress between the two stubborn men will take time.

"Sahira," she looks to her mother who has spoken quietly to get her attention and follows the older woman's line of sight. She catches sight of Indy fast asleep, wrapped up in Hanssen's arms with a death grip on his cuddly toy which is rapidly becoming a favourite and can't help but smile. "Time to go?"

"It looks like someone is quite happy where they are." Replies Sahira, almost conversationally to her mother, glad that Hanssen has returned her smile, even if he does look a little embarrassed. Sahira checks the time to find it's just gone 9pm, well past Indy's bedtime and she half hopes that means that the boy will sleep until a reasonable hour in the morning. "But I think we should probably make tracks."

They take their leave of Sahira's parents, Indy still asleep. Sahira catches sight of Hanssen moving away with Indy to her car as she bids farewell to her parents and imagines he is glad to be getting away from their enquiries. She joins him and opens the car door for him so he can lower Indy into his car seat, fastening his seat belt before gently closing the door and straightening up. He goes to move past Sahira towards his own car but she holds out an arm to halt him.

"I'll see you back at yours?" She can see the confusion at her actions on his face as he questions her and realises that he is looking very tired all of a sudden.

"Of course." Glancing to check Indy is still asleep, Sahira moves towards Hanssen and puts her arms around him, wanting to kiss him but he remains slightly tense.

"As you wish," he states and Sahira thinks his tone sounds almost indifferent. She pulls back a bit to look at him and sees his gaze focussed on her parents' house and she understands that either her mother _is_ watching them or he is uncomfortable with the thought they might be.

"I guess I have a lot of 'making it up to you' to do after their performance?" Her words have the intended effect and his gaze snaps back to her, drawing his attention away from the house and whatever her parents are doing.

"I'd say so, Ms. Shah." Hanssen smirks, suddenly looking much more awake. "I'm looking forward to it – I'll see you shortly." She doesn't get her kiss but watches him move off, his stride that of Mr. Hanssen, confident and certain once more.

Hanssen makes it back to Sahira's house before she does and he lets himself into the dark building, turning some lights on as he goes. Putting on a burst of central heating, Hanssen wanders back into the living room, making a note of some of the recent changes. Some of Sahira's stuff has made its way to his house and already, the once spartan building seems more lived it, like a home rather than just a house. Returning to the kitchen, he catches sight of his briefcase that he'd left there when he'd entered the house and is reminded of the research proposal he has to complete and is debating whether to start it or not when he hears Sahira pull up outside.

He decides against it and moves to open the front door for her, intending to take Indy from her but he hears his phone vibrate and then ring in his jacket pocket and shoots an apologetic look at Sahira. "Answer it," she tells him and he thinks that she looks like she really doesn't mind, "I'll take Indy up and see you in a minute."

"Henrik Hanssen." He answers on the third or fourth ring, voice crisp and his spirits sink as he realises it's Jac Naylor on the other end. Considering the way their last meeting went, he does not want Sahira to overhear something from their conversation and get the wrong idea so he moves back into the kitchen.

The conversation follows on from their encounter in Hanssen's office and he realises that he needs to put a stop to this behaviour for the sakes of Sahira, Indy, himself and Ms. Naylor.

"Do not presume to know what I want, Ms. Naylor." Hanssen hangs up, feeling confused about Ms. Naylor's actions and uncertain as to what he should do. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Hanssen turns to head upstairs and nearly drops his phone as he sees Sahira standing there in the kitchen doorway.

"Everything ok?" She asks and he feels like panicking, hoping she didn't hear the Jac's side of the conversation. Hoping he isn't doing an impression of a deer in the headlights he nods a little jerkily.

"Fine," thinking that whilst everything isn't okay right now, it will be, "Ms. Naylor gives me a headache." He confesses, trying to distract Sahira's focus from the phone call and smiles at Sahira's answering laugh, relieved that she appears to remain unaware of his previous interactions with the CT consultant.

"What are the odds?" 'Of what?' Thinks Hanssen, frowning. "I have the perfect cure for a headache." It takes him a moment to catch on to Sahira's meaning but allows himself to be led upstairs, turning off the downstairs lights as they go but forgetting to double-check the front door in their haste.

Hanssen allows Sahira to kiss him and she pulls on his tie to lower his head down to hers; however, the action reminds him a bit too much of Jac's actions in his office. He pulls away, hoping that Sahira won't realise that it is twice he has done that to her, lest she work out why.

"I believe you suggested some form of compensation for my presence at your parents' this evening?" He begins, shushing her as she tries to respond verbally but allowing her to nod. As he talks, Hanssen moves his hands to cover hers, stilling them and then moving them away from his tie, down to her side. "Allow me."

When Sahira nods her assent to his statement, he is relieved, still subject to old insecurities. For the most part, he has progressed far in their relationship, he would consider himself virtually unrecognisable to the man he was this time last year. The recent situations caused by Ms. Naylor have thrown him a little and his reflex response is still to retreat behind his walls until it is safe to venture out again.

He doesn't move away from her, taking a moment to simply observe the woman in front of him. He notes the dilation of her pupils, the way her respiratory rate has increased and he runs his eyes up and down her body, noting everything he sees; things he is familiar with and things he treasures. As he takes half a step towards her again, he sends a mental two-fingered salute to Jac Naylor.

In the low light of their bedroom, Hanssen drops to his knees, his left hand landing just above Sahira's right knee and his right hand trails down the inside of her calf, silently encouraging her to lift her foot. Once he has completed that action for both and she is stood barefoot in front of him, Hanssen rises and reaches out to slowly peel Sahira's clothing from her.

Once he has undressed Sahira, Hanssen hurriedly throws off his own clothes; surprisingly calm when his fingers cannot undo his tie and Sahira bats his hands away and unties it in moments, matching her smirk. He discards it behind him, aiming in the vague direction of the chair which sits in the corner of the room but he makes no move to see if he missed or not.

Both of them pick up on the feeling that words are not necessary and the only noises they can hear are the other's breathing and sighs as they make love gently and unhurriedly. Ignoring how tired he has felt recently, Hanssen knows tonight is not a race to completion and savours the experience; exploring with his hands and his mouth, feeling a thrill at the reactions he can provoke from her.

He keeps his movements gentle and languid, initially not doing much more than rocking his hips, wanting to see how long before she noticed. He smiles as he concedes to Sahira's almost immediate silent demands to increase the pace, suspecting that she was well aware of what he was trying to do.

Gladly complying with her wishes, Hanssen keeps his gaze tuned to hers, excluding the rest of the world from his awareness. He feels Sahira begin to flutter around him and it causes him to bite the inside of his lip to keep him focussed. He continues with his unhurried movements, encouraging her to keep her eyes open as she arches up against him until he captures her mouth in a kiss, swallowing her cries. Hanssen continues to move, his strokes becoming a little more hurried than before and he is surprised as well as a little smug when Sahira tenses against him for a second time, crying out, and he isn't able to stop himself from following her over the edge.

After a moment, Hanssen goes to move off her, lest he smother her but is held in place by Sahira's arms which tighten around him and he relents, staying where he is but using his arms to take most of his weight off her. Allowing Sahira a short while to savour whatever it is that she wants to savour, running her hands up and down his back, absent-mindedly tracing some of his scars and making him shiver, Hanssen is aware that he hasn't yet moved and his muscles are beginning to feel the effects of holding most of his weight off her. Pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, he lifts himself off her, rolling onto his side, still facing her.

Ever conscious of his scars and not wanting Sahira's son to see them in the morning, Hanssen reaches under the pillow on his side of the bed and pulls on his pyjamas before rising from the bed, leaving Sahira stretched out on the mattress, showing no inclination to move at all.

"So did Dad apologise?" Sahira eventually breaks the silence as he returns from the bathroom with a warm, damp cloth and proceeds to clean up any evidence of their activities from her body.

"We came to an _understanding_." That was, Hanssen decided, probably the best term for the current situation between the two men. Both men grudgingly accepting the other's love and care for both Sahira and her son but not wanting to hear it spoken out loud. He puts a halt to having to explain any further by returning the cloth to the bathroom.

"I'm sorry it was so awkward for you." She tells him as he returns and slides into the bed next to her.

"Don't be." He responds, tracing his fingers over Sahira's skin, enjoying the sight of the goosebumps which appear to follow his fingertips. "I do believe that the initial compensation for my suffering this evening has been most satisfactory." He smirks at Sahira's huff of amusement.

"Initial compensation?"

"Naturally the trial will have to be repeated if one wishes to have any kind of confidence in the conclusions drawn, Ms. Shah." He tries to sound like Mr. Hanssen but suspects that it wasn't a successful imitation of himself.

"Naturally." He hears her mumble sleepily as he gathers her closer to him and a few minutes later, both are fast asleep.

**AN: So the first meeting didn't go too smoothly, but don't despair! It's building up to something (all will work out in the end too!) and it could've been worse. Things will start heating up with Rafi again, once the move is done. Thanks for reading.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

The unexpected sound registered for one of the dark shapes lying together under the duvet in the darkened bedroom, waking them.

Hanssen is aware that something has changed and isn't quite right. He holds himself still and assesses what he knows of his current situation from the information that is available to him, what his senses are telling him. He is still in bed and feels warm and comfortable under the duvet, lying on his left hand side, Sahira gently held in his arms, fast asleep. It takes him a moment to recall that the three of them are still staying at Sahira's house tonight, rather than spending their final evening 'apart' at his house, their new home. He breathes in silently through his nose but only gets a trace of coconut, some kind of hair product Sahira is currently using.

His brow creases a little, still puzzled at what it was that woke him from his sleep. Casually, Hanssen turns away from Sahira, onto his back and then continuing onto his right hand side, the quiet noise of his movement masking the slight footsteps from the bedroom door to the side of the bed where they pause as Hanssen settles himself.

In his new position, Hanssen, still oblivious to the intruder in his bedroom resumes his quest for what woke him but this time his hearing yields no clues to the source of his waking – the house is silent. After a few moments without success, Hanssen sleepily decides to crack an eye open in the reluctant search for anything untoward.

The first thing that Hanssen registers is that it's still dark but before his vision can focus, he's startled by the seemingly sudden appearance of a pale face, inches from his own.

* * *

"Daddy?" Is the pale face's uncertain and quiet response to Hanssen's undignified and out of character yelp.

"Daddy, not well." It takes Hanssen a moment to understand what the small boy stood next to his bed is saying, his brain still sleep saturated and sluggish, despite his shock. His eyes feel like sandpaper and sitting up, Hanssen reaches out one hand to get his glasses, bringing the darkened world around him into a sharper focus. His gaze returns to the small figure in front of him with a sad expression on his face who repeats his plea.

He has obviously managed to wake Sahira and Hanssen felt Sahira stir as he yelped and she sleepily asks about the problem into her pillow without moving. Heart rate calming, Hanssen replies that "it's Indy,"

"Do you want me to get it?" Although he would dearly love Sahira to deal with her son whilst he turns over and falls asleep again but appreciates that she isn't exactly dressed for the occasion. Hanssen is thankful that his paranoia about his scars meant that he reached for some pyjamas last night.

"I've got it – go back to sleep."

"Let's get you sorted." Hanssen's tired voice to Indy would not be recognisable to any of the staff at Holby – the punctilious and distant tone has been replaced by a gravelly voice yet remarkably gentle, the affection for the boy is clear to hear. Peeling back the duvet, Hanssen forces himself up into the cold room and he wonders how long Indy has been stood there.

Once he has his dressing gown on, Hanssen scoops up Indy and frowns at the boy's cold pyjamas; wrapping his robe around both of them, he uses his body heat to warm the shivering boy, glad to hear Indy's whimpers lessen.

As Hanssen quietly snicks the bedroom door shut, he identifies that it was the opening of the bedroom door which woke him up; it only hits Hanssen when he makes it to the bathroom door, across the darkened landing that it could have been much worse than just Indy wandering about and he makes a mental note to check the doors again. He pauses, listening for any other sounds but doesn't hear anything untoward and is once again relieved that they are moving to his house rather than staying here; if he is honest, Sahira's ex-husband makes him more than a little uneasy.

Fumbling for the bathroom light with one hand, Hanssen uses his other hand to hold onto Indy who is still feeling cold and clamped to him under his dressing gown. When he finally manages to turn on the light, the sudden bright glare makes him wince and Indy burrows deeper into his chest with a whimper.

After a few minutes of gentle cajoling and plenty of soothing Hanssen works out that Indy is suffering from an earache and he sighs, thinking that any medicine has probably been packed away or moved to his house.

"There might be some medicine in the kitchen." Hanssen tells Indy, all too aware that even with some medicine, not much else can be done except wait for the small boy to feel comfortable enough to fall asleep. He rises from the edge of the bathtub where he had perched himself with Indy now wrapped around him, part of him wishing that Sahira had taken him.

Hanssen had had to suppress the inevitable flinch when the small boy had flung his arms around his torso as he picked him up – the reflex left over from his teenage years. Although he relaxed when he realised that the boy's arms would not yet reach around Hanssen's body, thin as it is, to feel the worst of his scarring, there is a part of him which still hopes that Indy will still feel inclined to hug him when he is big enough to reach around Hanssen's torso.

However, the boy is his mother's son, too curious for his own good, thinks Hanssen as Indy question's Hanssen's flinch, the movement noticed. He is about to deny the boy's question, dismissing his concern when his mind lands on another possibility he could exploit. Looking at the door, almost as if expecting Sahira to appear at any moment, Hanssen whispers.

"Can you keep a secret?" Indy looks confused but nods solemnly, the pain in his ear temporarily forgotten. Hanssen surveys the upturned face with mock scrutiny, not revealing his amusement at the seriousness of his little partner in crime, as he has heard Sahira refer to them. "Ok but you must ensure you do not tell your mother."

"Secret." States Indy and Hanssen nods this time.

"I'm ticklish, just like you and if your mother finds out..."

"She becomes the tickle monster!" Indy shudders and buries himself back against Hanssen's chest, pressing his sore ear against the warmth of Hanssen's body.

Hanssen allows his lips to quirk in amusement at Indy's apparent wariness of 'the tickle monster' and figures that his secret is safe. Making sure that he has Indy safely in his grasp, within his robe, Hanssen doesn't turn off the bathroom light, not wanting to be disorientated in the sudden blackness so close to the stairs and using the light, he makes his way down the stairs.

* * *

The speed with which Hanssen is capable of waking can still catch Sahira by surprise, even after a few months of sharing a bed and seventeen years of working with him. In Sahira's defence, she thinks, watching as the dark eyes soften when they recognise her, Hanssen is almost always awake and up before her so she doesn't often get to witness this phenomenon.

However, at some point during the night, Indy had come into their room with some kind of problem and gravitated straight towards his tall playmate and adopted father, rather than turning to Sahira for comfort.

Sahira considers the dynamic of their relationship and how it differs from what she'd expect most others to be like; she knows that if this situation was played out in some of her friends' relationships, they'd be upset that their child wasn't reliant on them any more. Truth be told, Sahira hadn't given much thought to the way Indy runs to Hanssen all the time aside from how pleased she is that they get on so well, she figures that it'll last until the first time Hanssen has to tell him off and then they will be on a hiatus from partners in crime, with Hanssen relegated to the role of a grown up in Indy's eyes.

She had had her fears that the Swede, despite his best attempts wouldn't know how to act around her son, would be as distant as he is with most of his colleagues but almost without fail, she sees Hanssen's expression soften and his lips quirk a little at the edges as he catches sight of Indy and he transforms from 'Mr. Hanssen' and becomes 'Henrik', or 'Daddy', she supposes. She attributes Indy's almost immediate adoption of Henrik to her son's excitability over having a male role model and hero, something he never had before with Rafi unless it was convenient for her ex-husband.

Also, an extra pair of hands is always welcome, a three year old boy was exhausting to handle by herself and she's secretly glad for the respite. So part of her was glad that it was Hanssen that Indy chose this evening, rather than her. Not only was her bed particularly warm and comfortable, she hadn't quite managed to get changed after they made love, choosing instead to fall asleep snuggled up next to Henrik.

Sahira smiles in the darkness at the possible expressions of some of the staff at Holby if they knew that Henrik Hanssen – the eminent, aloof and fearsome Director of Surgery and CEO was actually a snuggler.

Sahira had woken up again some time after Indy's arrival, aware that the bed seemed colder than before and when she turned over, she realised that Henrik still wasn't back from dealing with Indy yet. Reaching over to his side of the bed, Sahira finds it's cold and with a sigh, she decides to go and find her two wayward boys.

Having pulled on some pyjamas and a dressing gown to combat the cool air, Sahira makes her way to the bathroom, seeing the light still on. However, her search yields neither Hanssen or Indy and so she turns off the light and closes the door, turning her attention to the other bedroom in the house. Making her way across the hall to Indy's room, Sahira opens the door quietly, not sure what to expect but again finds no trace of either of them. Out of habit she picks up Indy's discarded stuffed giraffe toy, the Christmas present from Henrik which disconcerted her father so and stroking its face she places it back down on the bed and pulls back the duvet.

The only other place she can think they might be is downstairs, assuming they're still in the house and she experiences a brief moment of panic but tries to subdue it, telling herself that Hanssen would have woken her if Indy required any further treatment. Quickly and confidently, Sahira makes her way to the end of the landing and heads down the familiar, darkened stairs to the living room and stops short at the sight which greets her.

* * *

After Indy had drunk his drink to remove the taste of the medicine from his mouth, he solemnly gave the beaker to Hanssen who automatically thanked him. His manners ingrained into him from a young age, designed to render him polite in all situations, apparently even well dealing with his three year old charge at, Hanssen squints at the clock, quarter to three in the morning when they are both tired.

"How are you feeling now?" Hanssen asks as he scoops up Indy, desperately wanting to close his eyes, wondering briefly if it would be possible for him to fall asleep standing up in the middle of the kitchen. Trying not to sigh when Indy simply shrugs and buries himself back into Hanssen's dressing gown, he decides that he needs to rest his eyes, even if only for a minute. They head into the living room, turning off the kitchen light and leaving the house in darkness.

Deciding against adding any additional lighting, Hanssen sits down heavily on the sofa, 'a couple of minutes' he thinks, 'a couple of minutes to rest my eyes and then to bed'.

A minute later finds Hanssen lying on his back, shuffling to try and get comfortable on the sofa and Indy sprawled on top of his stomach. One hand with a possessive fistful of Hanssen's pyjama shirt. Hanssen has arranged his dressing gown to provide an extra layer to keep the boy warm.

"Sleep now." Hanssen instructs the boy, not sure if the instruction will work on sick three year old boys but at a loss for any other approach. Indy mumbles something back at Hanssen and Hanssen watches as he rubs gentle circles onto the boy's back, recalling the comfort he derived from his mother's similar actions and under his steady supervision Indy's eyes droop and he yawns once before drifting to sleep.

Hanssen carries on his ministrations, silently observing his small patient – a source of constant wonder to him. Wonder that he never shies away from intimidating tall man, has even taken to calling him 'Daddy' to Hanssen's confusion. Most people want to get as far away from him as possible, except it seems, the boy currently lying on him and his mother.

Despite his crushing tiredness, Hanssen uses the chance to reflect on how much his life has changed, how this domestic scene has replaced his previously lonely life. Admittedly he gets less sleep, no lie ins and gets next to no work done at home but Hanssen wouldn't have it any other way now, having experienced a taste of this life.

When Sahira and Indy made their way into his life on a more permanent basis, they offered him a role, a purpose, an opportunity to love and be loved in return. Something that, until he'd experienced it, he didn't realise he'd craved and found missing.

Try as he may to fight the steady closing on his eyes, Hanssen inevitably succumbs to sleep, his hand stopping its gentle, soothing movement, coming to rest protectively on Indy's back.

A couple of hours later, Hanssen awakes to consciousness again, aware that for the second time that night, the room he is occupying has a visitor. He listens to the soft footsteps as they pad over towards him and he feels the sofa cushions dip a little as Sahira sits down on the edge.

"Hi," she murmurs and Hanssen responds in kind, forcing an eye open to look at her, noting that she has pulled on some pyjamas and a robe. "I was wondering where you had got to."

"Mmm. Indy had an earache, which is hopefully sorted now." He lets his eyelid fall shut again and moves his hand until it covers one of Sahira's in her lap. "We didn't get very far. We'll run away another day." He tiredly teases, squeezing her hand and quirking his lips as he hears Sahira huff in amusement at his comment.

"Do you want me to take over?" Hanssen declines with a small shake of his head, he's comfy and surprisingly warm right now and he doesn't want to disturb Indy's sleep.

"We're alright. What time is it?"

"Coming up to four o'clock." He hears Sahira say. He nods a little, carefully to limit his movement so that he does not jostle Indy's head which lies under his chin. "Are you coming back to bed?"

"It would be wise." Careful not to jostle Indy, Hanssen forces himself up off the sofa and follows Sahira back up the stairs.

Using the ambient light from the street lamps to guide him, Hanssen moves silently across the living room with Indy still asleep in his arms, following Sahira back to their bedroom, to the bed with a partially discarded duvet on his side, he stands up next to the bed, towering over it, his exhausted mind wondering about the best way to proceed.

Hanssen gently places the sleeping boy in the middle of the bed before sliding in after him, with Sahira occupying the other side of the bed, "wake me if there's anything else tonight."

As he slips back towards much needed sleep, Hanssen feels Sahira adjust their duvet and press a kiss to his lips before pulling away. Hanssen was asleep again before she got back to her side of the bed.

**AN: We're not far off 75 reviews, I reckon whoever gets that can have a little story dedicated all to themselves :D Get reviewing! And if you do get the 75th, please make sure I can contact you if you're not registered on the site. Ta.**

**Usual disclaimers and all that jazz. A big thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far, they make my day. I am struggling a bit to write at the moment, I know kind of how I want the next few chapters to go but I can't quite make it so.**

**I figured as Rafi is about to make another appearance, this gentle little interlude would prove gentle enough. **


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Congratulations to Somerach who got the 75th review, a one-shot for you is in the works (and I am getting there, just one little bit isn't quite sitting right at the moment and it's getting on my nerves!) :)**

**Thank you every one else who reads this, it's quite humbling to know that people seem to enjoy this. Thank you for the gentle reminders I had quite recently to get back into gear and update this! One more chapter of relative gentle-ness before things begin to get moving again, rarely a dull moment for these two!**

**Usual disclaimers yadda, yadda, yadda. :-)**

* * *

Chapter 16.

Sahira wakes to her two wayward boys in the bed with her and generating a phenomenal amount of heat between them. It's unusual for her to awake before Hanssen and she eagerly takes the opportunity to observe them both unawares. In the last few weeks, Indy has become better at sleeping in 'till a reasonable hour and so he is still fast asleep and showing no signs of waking any time soon.

He is sprawled out in between Sahira and Hanssen with his toy giraffe still tightly in his grasp. It is starting to look a little grubby from constant use and she makes a mental note to try and steal it soon so that it can be washed. Hanssen has his right hand on her hip, over the duvet. He seems to crave the physical contact as much as Indy does. They've never really spoken about his family other than out of necessity and Sahira still doesn't really know how Hanssen acquired his scars. She can guess but she hopes she is wrong.

She shifts a little and checks the clock and turns off the alarm, it's probably time that they got up, although she is loathe to disturb his sleep when he is clearly tired, Sahira knows that he would not appreciate waking up late for work.

"I can feel you staring at me." She starts at the unexpected comment; she should have known he wasn't asleep.

"And can you blame me?" She questions lightly, Hanssen keeps his eyes closed but Sahira watches his lips quirk in amusement and she catches sight of the tips of his ears darkening. "It's probably time to get up. Go have a shower, I'll get Indy sorted."

Feeling a little more human after his shower, Hanssen stands in the bedroom, working out what to wear. He can feel a chill in the air this morning, although he attributes some of that to his tiredness, despite that, he picks up a waistcoat as well. Despite being born in Scandinavia, he feels the cold far too much and learned early on that more layers of clothing worked well for him.

Dressed, he heads to the kitchen, letting Sahira leave to get changed and she leaves Hanssen to supervise Indy. He doesn't fancy any breakfast himself and busies himself making two cups of tea whilst keeping an eye on the boy until Sahira's return.

When Sahira makes her way back into the kitchen a short while later, she ignores the cup of tea he gestures towards, pausing to adjust Hanssen's tie. He frowns a little, he's pretty sure that it is perfectly acceptable, after all, he's put on a tie every day for more years than he'd care to remember and is about to tell her so when she tugs it and steals a kiss.

"Thank you." Still a little confused, he watches her turn away and pick up her mug of tea. "For looking after Indy." She explains and he nods. Hanssen doesn't think that it is worth thanking him but he isn't about to object to her kissing him or still wanting to. Frankly he's amazed and still rather thrilled every time she kisses him. Belatedly he realises that Sahira is referring to last night, rather than the fifteen minutes just now and he smirks into his mug of tea.

Hearing his name, Indy realises he no longer has Hanssen's attention and threatens to upset his bowl with his toy giraffe. Hanssen promptly tells him he shouldn't play at the table before stealing a cautious look at Sahira, wondering briefly if he has overstepped the mark.

"Daddy is right," Sahira follows his lead and he is relieved. She smiles at him before turning back to her son. "Put Henrik down."

"Henrik!" Indy repeats waving the toy around instead. Hanssen is about to answer to his name when he frowns as he realises that Indy wasn't talking to him, that the giraffe is called Henrik and he is almost certain that Indy won't have thought of it.

"Indy." He catches the boy's attention. "Did your mother put you up to calling your toy Henrik?" He knows it is almost certainly the case, judging by Sahira's sniggers.

"Secret!" The boy babbles and Hanssen is amused at the fact that Sahira has used the same tactic as he did and although secretly touched by the gesture, he thinks he should probably pretend to be a bit offended.

* * *

Hanssen's day was an endless torrent of paperwork; the whole hospital seems to have found out about his upcoming week off and almost every department and ward has someone clamouring for his attention before he goes away.

He is buried in a report which really could have waited until his return when there is yet another knock at his office door and Hanssen momentarily considers the idea of relocating to one of the conference rooms without telling anyone in an attempt to escape this madness.

He remains silent, in an attempt to convince his would-be visitor that he isn't in his office and jerks his head up when he realises that whoever it is has just wandered into his office regardless. About to raise his voice in frustration, Hanssen snaps his mouth shut when he sees Sahira standing there.

"I come in peace." Sahira offers as she shuts the door behind her, if the size of Hanssen's frown was anything to go by, he doesn't want visitors. She rather hopes she is an exception to that state of mind, especially as she has brought a couple of sandwiches and a tea for him and is glad that she did so, her instincts were correct.

She knows he didn't eat any breakfast this morning and combined with the volume of work he's got on his desk, balancing on a chair and on the floor, threatening to topple over and bury him, if she hadn't brought his lunch to him, he wouldn't have time and it would be this evening before he'd eat anything.

After eventually succeeding in shutting the door behind her, both hands full with her food offerings for her friend and partner, Sahira turns back around in time to see Hanssen pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing his eyes.

"It's a wonder there have been no fatalities today," Sahira teases, referring to his reaction as she entered the office.

"The day is still young, Ms. Shah." He offers her a tired smile.

"You look exhausted, I'm sorry – I should've taken Indy last night." She feels a little guilty, she is the boy's mother and was all too happy to allow Henrik to deal with his small friend.

"It doesn't matter," and Sahira frowns, the man is clearly exhausted and spending a couple of hours awake with her ill son last night won't have helped. "As nice as it is to see you, I am somewhat preoccupied..." He gestures at the paper fortress which surrounds him.

"So I can see. And I am on a break for the next... 30 minutes. I'm here to make sure that you eat at least once during the hours of daylight." Sahira watches him open his mouth and she fixes him with her best 'mother look', she can almost say word for word what his response will be, about how her fussing isn't necessary and unwanted. She feels vindicated when he closes his mouth and rolls his eyes but picks up one of the sandwiches.

Looking up she realises that his focus is on her, almost warily observing her and she directs his attention back to his lunch which he'd ignored the second he realised that she was even looking at his piles of work.

"I took those little red devils out already. Eat, mister."

"Yes mother." Sahira watches him smirk into his sandwich.

True to her word, Sahira sits there on the other side of Hanssen's desk until he's eaten the first sandwich, ignoring the looks that he keeps shooting her. If he truly objected to her presence and her fussing, he wouldn't have hesitated to tell her, her feelings be damned.

Throwing the sandwich wrapper away, he moves as if to resume work once he's swallowed the last part of the meal but Sahira stops him. "Come on," she can see his reluctance quite clearly on his face but undeterred, continues to lead him towards the back of his office and the sofa. Once they're sat down, she pulls his arm around her shoulders and tucks herself into his side. Hanssen exhales, takes off his glasses, holding them in one hand and leans back, stretching his legs out.

"No matter how rapidly communication technology evolves; no invention could possibly rival the human gossip network." Sahira huffs in amusement.

"What makes you say that?"

"The way that my upcoming holiday has been broadcasting around the hospital and surrounding areas, leading to a sense of chaos and a constant stream of interruptions." Sahira responds similarly as he tightens his grip on her shoulders before relaxing again. "I've half a mind to never take another holiday again."

Sahira doesn't reply to his comment but attempts to change the topic, asking, "how packed are we? You're sure you don't mind?" She isn't certain that Hanssen has appreciated the scale of change that will occur in his house once she and Indy take up residence.

"It's a little late if I did." Although she isn't looking at his face, Sahira can almost see his lips quirking and goes to pinch his leg in retaliation but his hand intercepts hers, "you wouldn't dare, Ms. Shah." Sahira's retort is lost under the sound of her pager and she curses the interruption, realising that her break is probably already over.

"I suppose I'd better get back to the ward before they send a search party armed with pitchforks, flaming torches and garlic." She tells him, following him back towards his desk.

"Garlic?" He stops and turns so suddenly that Sahira almost walks into him.

"It wards off vampires." Sahira tells him as if it was the most natural answer in the world to give.

"Is that really how they see me?" He pulls back a bit and Sahira can see a brief flicker of something across his face before it's gone.

"A tall, dark, mysterious and shadowy figure who appears suddenly, doesn't make a sound when he walks, is never seen in daylight... can't possible think why they would think that." He fixes her with a look which suggests he is attempting to look unimpressed but she knows him better now to know that he doesn't mean it.

He does however, look decidedly unhappy and unimpressed when Sahira speculatively suggests getting someone on Darwin to check her neck for bite marks.

"Not Mr. Douglas," Hanssen growls, referring to the Irishman who has just returned to work and is already getting under Hanssen's skin professionally; he doesn't want the man anywhere unnecessarily close to his... to Sahira. He wonders if Sahira is testing to see how far she can push his patience when she flippantly responds.

"But you know that he'd be thorough." She manages to keep her face straight just long enough for Hanssen to feel the initial tendrils of uncertainty before she cracks into a smile and he feels possessive rather than amused by her antics and pulls her towards him, kissing her. Sahira responds instantly to his relief, he feels her cool hand on his jaw which jumps, her nails scratching him slightly when her pager goes off again.

"Sorry, I'll see you in a few hours," Hanssen nods, trying to appear casual and unruffled by their kiss, looking at some figures on the paper in front of him until he's aware that Sahira has her back turned to him and his gaze follows her out of the room, meeting her eyes briefly as he realises that he's been caught staring when she turns round as she exits. "Eyes on your work." He smirks and shrugs, his actions a far cry from anything he'd have done a year ago.

Sahira had made sure that they took the same car to work this morning; she had suspected that Hanssen would be swamped with work and wanted to make sure that he left at a reasonable time. At the end of her shift, she collected Indy from the crèche and they made their way up to the fifth floor office. Using Indy as a tactic was a little underhand but Sahira knew that Hanssen wouldn't be able to do any work if Indy was in the same room and she is counting on her son to get them home at a reasonable hour.

While Indy was distracting Hanssen, Sahira had a brief look around the room, it had changed dramatically since her visit at lunchtime, the precarious piles of paperwork had disappeared and another cup was sat on Hanssen's desk. She had asked Elliot to look in on Hanssen if he got a moment and he must have gone when Sahira was in theatre and also brought some further sustenance for the Swede.

One of the filing cabinets at the back of the office is open and Sahira goes to close the drawer to stop someone walking into it. A piece of paper at the front catches her attention and she withdraws it without thinking. It's Indy's picture of them that he drew after the fall out from the CTU call out. She smiles at the way that Hanssen is easily twice as tall as the other two figures in the picture.

"You kept this?" She turns to find Hanssen studying her intently.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"No reason." She smiles and puts it back.

* * *

Moving Sahira and Indy to his house went surprisingly smoothly, mostly, Hanssen believes because he was organising it. For all her ability to multi-task and juggle demands, there are days when Sahira couldn't organise her way out of a paper bag and he feared that something vital would have been neglected if he didn't address it himself. As inexperienced as he may be in romantic relationships, he still knows better than to voice something like that out loud.

Hanssen hadn't quite appreciated how much stuff Sahira alone owned; the glare he had received when he'd questioned if it was truly necessary to bring as much clothing shut him up and he warily observed her as she produced yet more clothes. Mentally calculating the amount of storage space in his bedroom, Hanssen resigns himself to losing nearly all of it. Elliot had warned him this would happen when he had visited him in his office this afternoon and he'd nodded politely but dismissed the older man's words as an attempt to disquiet him.

The three of them had left the hospital in his car, travelling back to Sahira's house before using both cars to move essential things to Hanssen's house. He had neglected to change out of his work suit before starting and although he'd taken off his jacket and tie, he was now regretting it, they'd only worked for an hour but his dress shirt was sticking to him a little.

Hanssen had collapsed into bed that night, hair still slightly damp from the shower he'd taken to remove the day's grime. He felt a little too warm but was too comfortable to move; Hanssen stretched a little, secretly glad to be back in his own bed – he'd spent a lot of money on it, a suggestion from his mentor when he was doing his own training.

'Make sure you buy good shoes and a good bed; as a Doctor you will be spending all your time in one or the other.' He'd followed his mentor's advice and had never regretted it.

Dozing slightly, he is still aware when Sahira enters the room and he cracks open an eye to watch her get changed. He still occasionally feels surprised that she is willingly with him, in his life, in his house, their house now, in his bed. Rafi's loss is Henrik's gain for sure. He feels the bed dip a little and closes his eyes, automatically stretching out an arm to pull her closer to him.

"Henrik," he's been wary of that tone of voice for years.

"No." He hears her laugh.

"You don't even know what I want."

"I know that tone of voice, Ms. Shah, it is the one which inevitably means-" She cuts him off, kissing him to cause him to be silent. It is a tactic he is beginning to feel comfortable using with her and he is amused that she has also figured out its effectiveness.

"Shut up Henrik," he raises his eyebrows but keeps his eyes closed, trying not to flinch away as she whispers into his ear, the action tickling him.

He opens his eyes as Sahira's words' meaning dawns on him, he doesn't care whether it's true or not. "It would be most remiss of us not to rectify that situation."

"I was kind of hoping you'd say that." He smirks and Hanssen is content to allow Sahira to dictate the pace of their evening.

* * *

They had worked hard over the weekend, packing and storing items that they had neglected to do beforehand or been unable to because of work. Hanssen had bribed Indy into working with him unpacking items and finding homes for them rather than working with Sahira at her house, packing yet more items. He'd been so tired by the time that they called it a day that he'd only reacted on instinct when Indy tugged at his arm, lifting the boy into the bed next to him and both of them had been fast asleep by the time Sahira went to bed.

He had woken up gently to silence instead of being jumped on to a bleary alertness which had become the norm since his adoption by Indy. After a minute of not being able to hear anything, he opens his eyes to find the room empty and pulling on his robe, he heads downstairs in search of Sahira and her son.

He steps into the living room and finds Indy parked in front of the TV, utterly absorbed in the programme he's watching; Hanssen looks at the screen for nearly a minute but can't decide quite what type of creature the vaguely humanoid shapes are meant to represent. Shaking his had to distract himself, Hanssen heads on and comes across Sahira on her mobile in the kitchen.

"That was my Mum," she tells him after she's hung up and Hanssen nods, anticipating Sahira's inevitable absence today and tries to suppress his annoyance. "She wanted Indy and I to visit but I told her no." Hanssen glances up, surprised. "She then wanted to help with the move but I said no again. However, I did have to concede to a visit later in the week."

"I see." Hanssen considers the awkwardness of the previous visit to Sahira's parents and sighs imperceptibly, he had rather hoped for a longer gap before subjecting himself to their scrutiny again.

They'd continued just after lunch on Saturday, packing up the final few pieces that they'd been using up 'till then before using both cars to move things between the houses. He'd had practically everything useful unpacked and away by Tuesday evening when Sahira returned from her shift

He seemed to spend the rest of the week moving and readjusting things and being amused at her frustration when she can't find the item that she was looking for that had previously been housed where she is looking.

"Efficiency and strategic repositioning procedures have been implemented," he'd loftily replied to her cursing one morning and easily caught the jumper she threw at him in frustration, smirking.

"Shut up, Henrik." His smirk transforms into a genuine smile. "And don't you start." Sahira wheels around to her son, Indy had taken to following Hanssen around and repeating things that his partner in crime said. Observing the frustrated yet amused behaviour of Sahira, Hanssen decides to begin to teach Indy more management non-phrases and bribe him with some chocolate to use them and he wonders how long it will take Sahira to notice.

Indy runs off back to sit in front of the TV, leaving Hanssen and Sahira in the kitchen and he schools his expression, turning to face Sahira, innocently asking, "is something bothering you?"

"You've corrupted my son, he's only three, you shouldn't be teaching him phrases like 'cost effectiveness', it's just wrong."

"There are worse things I could have him repeat." She makes a face in response to Hanssen's smug look.

"You know, Henrik, I think I'd settle for a swearword or two." He laughs and tugs her closer to him.

"I'll see what I can do, Ms. Shah."


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: This story seems to have taken a bit of a back seat this year, apologies for that; we've still got a lot to go before this is done. I was thinking that this will come to an end around about bonfire night or approx. one year after Sahira and Hanssen got their act together. How does that sound? Then maybe some one-shots at various points in the future after that? They'd be subject to request/demand, so get your thinking hats on.**

**It's currently early February as things stand so a fair few chapters yet. We still have Rafi to deal with and he is going to start to make an appearance again soon. *evil laugh***

**Apart from that, usual disclaimers apply.**

* * *

Chapter 17.

Hanssen's week of holiday passed far too quickly, he thinks as he makes his way around Keller. Although Ric Griffin is on site, Hanssen is the consultant on call for Keller today. He has two electives today, one at 12.30 and one at 15.00 and asks a nurse to ensure his patients are prepped in good time, the nurse nods, obviously quite intimidated by the Swede and Hanssen sighs to himself as he watches her scurry away.

'Two and a half years and they're still scared', he muses as he crosses the ward and lets himself into the consultant's office to speak to Ric Griffin. He's barely step foot inside the office when Ric is speaking to him, hand up in protest.

"I can't do it, I'm on-"

"I'm well aware that today is an S.P.A day, Mr. Griffin," Hanssen cuts him off smoothly, trying not to reveal his irritation at the assumption that Hanssen could have forgotten; considering the fight that Ric put up to have such days included in his contract, Hanssen doubts he could ever forget. "You are not required to do anything but listen for one minute and then I shall leave you to your work."

"Right," Ric replies, obviously puzzled by Hanssen's visit but he turns behind him to lower the volume of his music and waits for Hanssen to explain. "What's the matter?"

"The board have finally approved funding for another senior consultant and I believe they would be most effective here on Keller."

"I see," the seated man answers in a guarded tone and Hanssen sighs imperceptibly at the man's default resistance. Truth be told, he is annoyed at fighting the same battles with some of the staff, none of them are stupid and yet with a few exceptions, they cannot seem to grasp that he is here to save the hospital, not ruin it.

"It will still be _your_ ward, Mr. Griffin." Hanssen informs him, addressing the most predictable point first. "An extra pair of capable wouldn't go amiss, surely? I shall send the short-list and their CVs to you this afternoon. " He doesn't wait for an answer and turns back to the door to take his leave and to leave Ric to complete his paperwork on his own.

"One last thing, Mr. Griffin," Hanssen pauses in the doorway. "Although the final decision is mine; I _would_ appreciate your input – they will be your new colleague after all."

* * *

"Who set that date?" Sahira looks up and shoots the consultant a look of confusion, causing the redhead to roll her eyes. "For the deadline." Jac adds as patronisingly as possible and Sahira automatically glances at the top of the sheet which reads that the submission deadline is the 14th February.

"Oh, Henrik did." Sahira absent-mindedly replies, returning her gaze to the sentence she was writing, surprised when she doesn't hear Jac respond and she looks over at the other woman who has returned to her own desk to find her smirking. "What now, Jac?"

"So, where's he taking you after you submit the research?" Sahira is glad that Greg isn't in the office with them, the Irishman would have retorted with some utterly inappropriate answer.

"Huh?"

"For Valentine's day." Jac explains as if it's the most obvious answer in the world. Sahira relaxes imperceptibly as Jac answers; although she isn't sure how much the consultant knows of her relationship with Hanssen, she's spent enough time with the Swede to be able to obfuscate a little.

"Why would he take me anywhere?"

"You're Hanssen's girl." Sahira sighs at the nickname, although admittedly the least aggravating reference to her relationship with the Director of Surgery, Jac's almost constant references get on her nerves.

"Right. How could I forget? I doubt if Henrik's even heard of Valentine's day. I can't really picture him as the chocolates and flowers kind of man." Her deflections are getting better but still not quite enough to convince Jac. "Besides, he'd probably rupture something in shock if I asked him that."

Jac looks unimpressed by Sahira's answer and so Sahira deflects. "What about you, any special plans lined up?"

"Hardly." Jac scoffs. "I'll be here, working all night while you all get too drunk and loved up to be of any use to anyone the next day." There's not much that Sahira can say to that and so she remains silent and the silence grows and with a pained smile she returns her focus to the paper in front of her. Sahira knows that Jac wouldn't appreciate any comments about her lonely life and it would probably be the last thing Sahira ever did, were she to give voice to any of these thoughts.

* * *

"How did your meeting go?" The small nudge against his elbow makes Hanssen realise that the high-pitched voice is talking to him and he turns on the spot to look down at whoever is trying to speak to him.

It's Chantelle Lane and she repeats her question with her trademark smile. Hanssen is confused for a moment until he realises that the blonde nurse is referring to meeting Sahira's parents. Amused by her attempt to be cryptic and touched that she has remembered, Hanssen answers, expression softening.

"It was fine, thank you, Nurse Lane."

"Oh good," the nurse enthuses. "My parents were always really awkward the first few times they met my boyfriend, really over-protective but they did calm down." Hanssen sighs to himself, any secrecy the nurse had started with has vanished with her second sentence and he glances around the lobby but thankfully there aren't any staff within hearing range.

The nurse continues to talk and Hanssen nods distractedly, barely listening. He'd taken the scenic route back to his office from Keller, using the opportunity to grab some lunch and a drink before he is due in theatre. He had only been back on site for a few hours but already the general level of chaos which exists in the hospital is tiring him out.

Part of him yearns to return to the gentle pace of the previous week already. Sahira had gone with Indy to her parents yesterday morning, not returning until late afternoon. Sahira's mother had invited Hanssen, apparently, but he had declined, remembering her father's attitude and he didn't want to risk affecting their tentative truce until he and Sahira were more settled together. Sahira had accepted his answer immediately and he figured that it would be more beneficial for her parents to see that Hanssen is treating them well and that they have survived their first week without any pressure of his presence.

In their absence, Hanssen had realised how quiet and lonely the house was without Indy's constant noise and Sahira's music and he found, to his surprise, that he didn't like it. The house, which had always been immaculate and empty was now 'lived in', already filled with pictures and piles of laundry, 'normal' things, evidence of a family. Of _his_ family and the thought fills him with a now familiar warmth.

"Do you have anything special planned for next week?" Chantelle's question brings Hanssen back to the present moment and he frowns, mostly to himself, wondering of the significance of the date. If he is not mistaken, it's the date of Sahira's research deadline so he anticipates looking after Indy for the night while the boy's mother panics; inwardly smiling, Hanssen is almost certain that Sahira is behind schedule. However, he's aware that probably isn't what the nurse is referring to.

"Should I?" He questions.

"It's Valentine's Day, Mr. Hanssen." Hanssen freezes. His eyes widen a little, the only outward display of the sudden sense of panic he feels; he has no idea whether Sahira is expecting him to arrange something. If so, quite what this something entails, he has no idea and he dismisses the notion of asking her as soon as he thinks of it.

"Indeed," he replies, almost surprised by how calm his voice sounds. "Do you have any plans, Nurse Lane?" Normally Hanssen avoids enquiring after his staffs' affairs unless their private lives begin to affect their work but the nurse's answer could give him some clues. Sahira is very different to the woman stood next to him but a starting point is a starting point.

"No," the nurse answers with a smaller smile than usual. "No joy this year. I don't mind though. What plans have you made? I bet they're amazing."

"That would be telling, Nurse Lane." Hanssen repeats something that he heard Mr. Douglas use once; usually Hanssen wouldn't dream of using the Irish registrar as inspiration but he is too busy inwardly trying to suppress the sense of worry whilst berating himself about how he could have overlooked something of this magnitude.

"So it's a surprise? That's really lovely, I'm sure she'll love it." Hanssen nods distractedly in the face of the nurse's enthusiasm.

* * *

In need of something sugary to bribe herself into becoming more productive, Sahira leaves the Darwin office and heads down to the ground floor; there is coffee available in the staffroom but she uses the opportunity to stretch her legs as well as satisfy her craving for something almost inedibly sweet.

As she exits the stairwell, Sahira's gaze lands on Hanssen's suited form, stood next to a blonde woman that she vaguely recognises. Stood to one side, away from the door, Sahira watches the Director of Surgery interact with the woman she recognises to be a nurse, pleased that the staff are finally starting to see the human side of Henrik Hanssen.

She frowns in confusion when Hanssen tenses suddenly for a moment and she wonders what has caused such a reaction; Sahira doubts that anyone else would notice the Swede's behaviour as significant, the nurse obviously doesn't and she carries on talking to him, oblivious to Hanssen's momentary discomfort. He recovers quickly and begins to speak again and Sahira gives them a few more minutes to talk, not wanting to interrupt before heading over.

"Mr. Hanssen," she greets him brightly as she comes to stand behind and she watches his expression relax as he recognises her.

"Ms. Shah," he responds in kind, his gaze lingering a moment longer than usual. "This is Nurse Lane, from Keller." He introduces his companion without missing a beat and Sahira turns her attention to the blonde nurse who is almost beaming at her.

"Call me Chantelle." The nurse holds out a hand which Sahira takes.

"Err, right. Call me Sahira then." The introductions are halted when Chantelle realises she's at the front of the queue and the three of them place drinks orders and Sahira adds an iced bun to her order, determined not to look at Hanssen and his expression. They stand in silence until the nurse heads off with a wave, her shift finished and Hanssen pays for the remaining items and the two of them head back towards the lift, waiting until they are inside to ask about Sahira's research.

"Uh," she sighs, "I'm so behind and getting fed up of Jac's comments." Thinking back to the red-headed consultant's jibes about Valentine's Day, Sahira watches Hanssen out of the corner of her eye. As nice as it would be to do something special, an evening in with him would suit her just fine, besides, she imagines that he's not even heard of Valentine's Day, let alone thought about it.

"There will be no extensions," he informs her blandly and she is about to retort that she won't require an extension when she notices his lips quirk.

"You're not as funny as you think you are," she tells him and his expression transforms into a smile and he shrugs, apparently not bothered. "I won't need any extra time but you may have to watch Indy for me."

"I had anticipated as much," Hanssen tells her loftily and follows her out of the lift when it reaches Darwin. She shoots him a confused look and he tells her that he requires Professor Hope's input on a particular matter. Pointing him in the direction of the consultants' office, Sahira heads over to the nurses' station to enjoy her drink and hide her snack from Greg.

Sahira's gaze lingers on Hanssen as he politely knocks on the consultants' office door before letting himself into the room, his tall and familiar outline disappearing behind the frosted glass door.

"You're drooling." Another familiar face appears in her line of vision and Sahira blinks a couple of times as her focus readjusts for the sudden appearance of a grinning Greg.

"I'm not drooling," Sahira defends, hoping she isn't blushing but certain that she wasn't drooling but can't help a discreet check, just in case, resolutely not looking at Greg.

"Of course you aren't." Greg agrees with a smirk, the sarcasm easy to hear. "So what brings the Grim Reaper out of his lair anyway?" Sahira frowns at Greg's choice of name.

"Don't call him that." She chooses to ignore Greg's eye roll.

"Oh come on, it's not like he can hear me."

"Maybe he can't but I can. Please, Greg." Sahira tells him, saddened that she still has to stand up for Hanssen in front of her friend.

"Fine, fine." Greg tells her and Sahira knows that he hasn't listened to her, dismissed her words as little more than nagging and that they'll undoubtedly replay this situation again. She sighs lightly, letting the matter drop, not wanting to pick a fight. "So why is he here anyway?" Greg repeats his earlier question, his tone suggesting that Sahira knows the answer.

"Haven't a clue. He said he needed to speak to Elliot about something. Could be anything."

"Hmmm," Greg scratches his nose briefly. "What do you suppose they're planning?"

"I really don't know, Greg. I doubt it involves either of us though." She stands, signalling an end to their chat; she doesn't know how long Hanssen is planning on spending in Elliot's office but doesn't want him to see both registrars chatting at the nurses' station. "Probably best to make yourself look busy."

"That's one of my _many_ talents." She can't help but smile at Greg's almost perpetual playfulness and shaking her head, Sahira heads off to make a circuit of the ward and check that all is as it should be as she waits for the two consultants to finish their talk so she can return to her research.

* * *

**AN: The next chapter is planned and I have a couple of days off this week so hope to get that uploaded before Sunday.**

**Feel free to drop me a review, I hope that people are still reading this, despite the massive delays inbetween updates!**


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